The coming out thread - Take II

adidasss · 12-20-2020, 04:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marie Monday

Damn adi your family sounds so problematic, it must have been horrible growing up in that environment. Luckily you created a new family for yourself by finding love, I guess

Yeah, it wasn't a nice childhood, mostly because my father has anger management issues, homophobia was not my major concern in those times. But it's worse if one of your parents is an alcoholic, which is what my niece and nephew are going through. You would think that if you go through a rather traumatic childhood you would make sure your own kids don't go through something similar. But some people just have problems I guess (my brother was also on the front line in the war so I guess that probably screwed him up somewhat and contributed to his alcoholism, aside from having a bipolar wife and a dysfunctional marriage).

Javier (my boyfriend) is quite surprised how relatively normal I turned out compared to the rest of my family.

The Batlord · 12-20-2020, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adidasss

Javier (my boyfriend) is quite surprised how relatively normal I turned out compared to the rest of my family.

Tbf you're on an internet forum.

adidasss · 12-20-2020, 07:09 AM

Also true. He's a little concerned about that. With reason. :/

**Marie Monday** · 12-20-2020, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

That's a rather charitable view of MB but whatever.

*Cue Rihanna singing 'we found love in a hopeless place' *

**Marie Monday** · 12-20-2020, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adidasss

Yeah, it wasn't a nice childhood, mostly because my father has anger management issues, homophobia was not my major concern in those times. But it's worse if one of your parents is an alcoholic, which is what my niece and nephew are going through. You would think that if you go through a rather traumatic childhood you would make sure your own kids don't go through something similar. But some people just have problems I guess (my brother was also on the front line in the war so I guess that probably screwed him up somewhat and contributed to his alcoholism, aside from having a bipolar wife and a dysfunctional marriage).

Javier (my boyfriend) is quite surprised how relatively normal I turned out compared to the rest of my family.

It seems like people generally either tend to perpetuate their traumas, or do the opposite. It's a marvellous achievement to turn out ok after living through childhood issues like that

WWWP · 12-20-2020, 01:24 PM

The breaking-the-cycle club is small but mighty

~~jwb~~ · 12-22-2020, 10:50 AM

You call it perpetuating the trauma, I call it tradition.

~~jwb~~ · 12-22-2020, 11:40 AM

I usually get 2 basic kinds of scrutiny if I tell people I'm bi:

1) so you're gay and just don't wanna admit it so you say you're bi.
2) you're faking it for attention

The 1st one is why I often don't tell a girl I'm talking to that I'm bi. They often have weird hang ups about it where either they think it's gross or they don't see it as manly or they're just insecure about a realm they can't compete with.

But I get it from random people too. It doesn't make sense to me. If I was gonna be a closet gay guy I would just pretend to be straight. Why would I take on the stigmas of being bi? It doesn't win you any favor in a homophobe's eyes that you also like women.

The 2nd one I sorta get but tbh it doesn't make sense with me either. Being bi clashes with my general personality. If I were trying for an image that's not the route I'd go. Also it might sound sexist but I think it's much more common for women to casually flirt with/fake being bi for attention from men. It doesn't really work the other way around.

OccultHawk · 12-22-2020, 12:03 PM

Quote:

It doesn't really work the other way around.

It can be a woke cred thing.

~~jwb~~ · 12-22-2020, 12:06 PM

True. I have met girls that go for gay guys actually too. But on average it's not the best strategy.

12-20-2020, 07:09 AM	#163 (permalink)
adidasss Slavic gay sauce Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Abu Dhabi Posts: 7,993	Also true. He's a little concerned about that. With reason. :/ __________________ “Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.” - Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle. Last.fm

12-22-2020, 10:50 AM	#167 (permalink)
~~jwb~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2019 Posts: 4,403	You call it perpetuating the trauma, I call it tradition.

12-22-2020, 11:40 AM	#168 (permalink)
~~jwb~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2019 Posts: 4,403	I usually get 2 basic kinds of scrutiny if I tell people I'm bi: 1) so you're gay and just don't wanna admit it so you say you're bi. 2) you're faking it for attention The 1st one is why I often don't tell a girl I'm talking to that I'm bi. They often have weird hang ups about it where either they think it's gross or they don't see it as manly or they're just insecure about a realm they can't compete with. But I get it from random people too. It doesn't make sense to me. If I was gonna be a closet gay guy I would just pretend to be straight. Why would I take on the stigmas of being bi? It doesn't win you any favor in a homophobe's eyes that you also like women. The 2nd one I sorta get but tbh it doesn't make sense with me either. Being bi clashes with my general personality. If I were trying for an image that's not the route I'd go. Also it might sound sexist but I think it's much more common for women to casually flirt with/fake being bi for attention from men. It doesn't really work the other way around.

12-22-2020, 12:06 PM	#170 (permalink)
~~jwb~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2019 Posts: 4,403	True. I have met girls that go for gay guys actually too. But on average it's not the best strategy.