I'm a writer for an advertising agency and I've had to do a load of tourism articles in the past few weeks. The problem with some of these is there's just no way to make certain parts of town seem genuinely appealing...

I honestly don't know why I was hitting myself.

I can't believe I just read Conan Blog when he explicitly told me not to, maybe I should had listen to him but I do like the reverse psychology where he said it was a "Boring Blog" when in fact it turned out to be riveting. He brought up the whole "You say Tomato... I say Tomato..." controversy, I hope I never get into a conversation about Yes, or not killing whales with him, I mean if thought I said "Tomato" and not "Tomato" when I actually said "Tormato" as in "Tormato Tour" I can imagine him flipping out one me and him punching me and kicking, and people would be like "what happen to you?" and I would be like "Conan's cheese slipped off his cracker. I hope he never becomes a speech therapist."

I really don't care how I pronounce things or how they're spelt, I'm lazy like that, but I try to work both pronunciations in, like Conan is going on a Ca-rib-bee-an cruise to the Ca-ra-bee-in islands - see this way everybody is happy.

When I think about it, I can't believe he brought up the whole "You say Tomato... I say Tomato..." thing, maybe he had been watching old movies movies lately.

I'm glad you brought this controversy up. My dad has always said Ca-rib-bee-an while my mother prefers Ca-ra-bee-in. As such I've sort of always done the same thing and switch of between pronunciations.

I'm no saint though. I pronounce "both" with an L, so it sounds like "bowlth". I also pronounce the B in subtle (I don't say "suddle" or "suttle" but "SUB-tull"... although I'm not sure if that's technically a correct way to say it either.

Best blog ever!!

"Conan's Boring Blog (Don't Read)"


I see what you did right there.

It's a natural human instinct to do the opposite of what you are told so you will get people to read by saying "don't read"

There is, in the study of language, a technical word used for how people vocalize an unvocalized consonant when the consonant falls between two vowels - I forgot that word. When you take the word "subtle" the "b" is silent, because the "t" is between the "u" & "le" (le sounds as [əl]) the "t" is vocalize as a [d]. There are a few example like "water" and "butter" the t's are vocalizes a [d] sound. I don't know how common pronouncing "subtle" as [SUB-tull] but do that is something more common than you might think, where spelling influences your pronunciation. Like the word "Pinot" - people unfamiliar with the French pronunciation will say [Pin not] instead of [pi noʊ]. They are applying phonetically rules they'd learn to a word which may be unfamiliar.

That's really interesting, actually!

This better be on page 4
 

Here I am again. It's Thursday, 12:33pm, day four of my planned epic week off extravaganza. What have I done so far? Nothing. I smell like movie theater butter because for some reason having somebody poor it down my throat sounded like a good idea at the time. They missed my mouth.

I hate laughing. It's basically an unproductive form of vomiting. I only laughed once, and didn't really care for it. I don't get what the big deal is. It's like having the dry heaves and feeling happy. But then again, I don't really have the best perspective because I don't have emotions. I erased all of them so I could make room to memorize all the stupid passwords the world forces me to have. If I could use the same password for everything it'd be no big deal, but no - that's not how the world works. Some places force you to have capital letters and numbers and be 300 characters long and others yell at you if it's too complicated. Some places really screw with you and email you a ten digit number that you're supposed to remember. I want facial recognition software to be mandatory in ever computer, that way we don't have to be bothered anymore.

Actually, that's a bad idea. Somebody could just hold a picture of you up to the scanner. If software is going to recognize you it has to recognize a part of you that's almost never photographed straight on. Like, say, your elbow. Who has photos of their elbow? Or for that matter, who do you know that might want to break into your computer and also has access to your elbow photos? Elbows are probably more unique than faces. Anybody can draw a face. I've never seen an artist sketch a really good elbow.

There are things in this world that are absolutely meant, whether it be by intention or by some cosmic fluke, for a singular and specific purpose. Sometimes you discover this purpose completely by accident, and once you do you'll never see that thing in the same light again. Case-in-point being montage music. We've all seen those scenes in films where the characters are having a good time, pointing at historic landmarks in an overdramatic fashion, trying on outfits while their friends cross their arms and nod "no" three or four times before finding the right one and enthusiastically nodding "yes". Once you hear a song in a movie montage scene, it's almost impossible to hear it again without thinking of it. It was just made to be in that film. Sometimes I like to play montage songs and drive around looking at things. The frightening part of that is it literally feels like I'm just cutting scenes from place to place, and always makes me wonder how the heck I got to where I went. Who knows how many laws I've broken in-between national monuments.

http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos..._7383207_a.jpg
Rutabagas: They don't just cause cancer, they look like it too.

I want some more coffee. But I can't drink it, because it causes cancer. Just like breathing. Breathing also causes cancer. Everything causes cancer. Cell phones, microwaves, sugar, airplanes, chocolate, muppet movies... basically whatever people enjoy happens to be bad for your health, and everything that is supposed to be good for your health is also bad for your health. I think it's fun to meet self-taught nutritionists. Those people who seem to have developed their own system of health and swear by it. It's a bit like Kung-Fu. My tiger style beats your crane style! My whole-wheat style beats your pita-bread style! You just have to wait about 50 or 60 years to find out who wins.

I passed by a nursing home the other day. It was right across the street from a cemitary. That must be a wee-bit depressing, no? That was either poorly thought-out or really practical planning. How much are they looking to save? Is transporting bodies really that exspensive? I know we live in a fast-moving world but is it really necessary to streamline the growing old and dying process?

It's now 1:18pm. I still smell like buttered popcorn.

I say tomato like "tom-ah-toe". Got a problem? I'd like to see you try n pin me down and punch me in the face and kick me on the ground until I pronounced it correctly. Then force me to eat a tomato. I'd probably stab you within a 2 meter radius of myself. It's the way I was brought up.

That was a pretty great idea actually but one thing they didn't think of is that the body still has to go to the Mortuary unless they were really thinking and they have one on the premises of the nursing home.

As I read your last entry, it reminded me a bit of how I used to write in my livejournal and post/type about these random thoughts that I would have walking around town or when riding on a bus.