Masturbation Appreciation Thread

[Howard the Duck]

Originally Posted by Paloma

Vaginas clean themselves dude.
What is your big yank about women? Are you unhappy with the sex you were born into?

as I've have paraphrased The Watchmen before, "I wish the entire female population of the world were one vagina and I was fucking it"

well, except me mom's, of coz

[Howard the Duck]

i don't get the point of this thread actually

what's there to "appreciate" about wanking?

you feel horny, look up some porn you fancy or use your imagination, whip it out and do the monkey shuffle

that's it, basically

[Ska Lagos Jew Sun Ra]

Originally Posted by Il Duce

i don't get the point of this thread actually

what's there to "appreciate" about wanking?

you feel horny, look up some porn you fancy or use your imagination, whip it out and do the monkey shuffle

that's it, basically

Well, see, you're just being uncreative. You forgot the point about putting a makeshift rope around your throat, an kicking the chair under your feet just before orgasm.

Just as long as you don't die, man, ecstasy!

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by Il Duce

i don't get the point of this thread actually

what's there to "appreciate" about wanking?

you feel horny, look up some porn you fancy or use your imagination, whip it out and do the monkey shuffle

that's it, basically

Originally Posted by Skaligojurah

Well, see, you're just being uncreative. You forgot the point about putting a makeshift rope around your throat, an kicking the chair under your feet just before orgasm.

Just as long as you don't die, man, ecstasy!

And don't forget the fifi:

Originally Posted by The Urban Dictionary"

1. fifi

Prevalent within death row inmates, a hands-free masturbation device made up of a dirty old sock, vaseline (or toothpaste, if not available) a toilet paper tube (if available), wedged firmly between a matress.

"Hey boy. Bend over. I'm 'bout to jack off with your *******"
"Man **** dat...yall needs ta be using yo FIFI, negga!"


2. fifi

fifi is a latex glove wrapped by a small towell or sock inmates wrap the towell or sock. you can make your fifi tight to simulate a tight pussy by using rubberbands around the towell. insert some cream in the glove maybe some warm water. now just pretend your boning some fine ass chick and hurry before the guards bust you.oh and never use shampoo unless you want your penis to blow up and all your cell mates to laugh at you

fifi,latex glove,sock,towell,cream,tight, pussy


3. fifi

Any simulated vagina, homemade or commercial.

When I was in reform school, every guy would trade things to get the stuff to make a fifi.

[CanwllCorfe]

[Ska Lagos Jew Sun Ra]

Originally Posted by CanwllCorfe

SENSEI!!!

[DoctorSoft]

So my mom looked at my history and saw all my porn. Kinda awkward but she's being cool about it.

[Dirty]

Originally Posted by DoctorSoft

So my mom looked at my history and saw all my porn. Kinda awkward but she's being cool about it.

In middle school i didn't even know there was a history so my Dad definitely saw all mine. But I found his stash and there was beastiality and weird shit so that's probably why he never said anything.

[someonecompletelyrandom]

Originally Posted by Dirty

But I found his stash and there was beastiality and weird shit so that's probably why he never said anything.

That must have been awkward.

[Dirty]

Originally Posted by Conan

That must have been awkward.

He never knew I found it. He had quite a lot of horse-fucking-women videos and I am pretty sure he spent all night having cyber sex. Luckily I don't respect my dad and think he's a loser and shithead for othe reasons, so it's not as awkward as it would be if he was like some nice, cool guy who I looked up to but I secretly knew he liked literal horsecock