Is It Better To Have Loved, And Lost? Than To Have Never Loved At All?

Wayfarer · 04-17-2011, 12:57 PM

Assuming we're talking about 'love' in the romantic sense and not generally.... in the grand scheme of things, I think it's better to have loved and lost at least once, just because it's a valuable experience that you can learn from, but after that, I can think of numerous wimmens I'd probably have been better off not loving at all.

Loved and lost: yes
Loved and lost and loved and lost and loved and lost and loved and lost and loved and lost: no

Odd, though, how the worst relationship I was ever in was probably the one I learned the most from, and not just how to dodge flying glass plates.

Mr November · 04-17-2011, 05:54 PM

Anyone who has loved will have loved and lost.

We all die someday. Does that mean we shouldn't bother?

Love is a relatively meaningless word these days - but there's a general understanding in this context that it refers to an impossible to define emotion or quality. If anything is a part of the human experience, it is love. I don't know if animals can feel it, but I know humans can. Passion and love are the things that drive us to a sense of meaning in life.

Herocon · 04-17-2011, 06:34 PM

Well, if someone brakes up with you and brakes your heart, you may go into spiraling depression. But, if you'd never loved that person in the first place, would you be so miserable?

Paedantic Basterd · 04-17-2011, 11:52 PM

I think whether it's worth it or not depends entirely on the aftermath, and not at all on the relationship itself.

Mojo · 04-18-2011, 02:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MoonlitSunshine

See, that's a statement I completely disagree with. Yeah, the person you love can stop loving you, or decide to run off with another guy, or whatever, but does that then negate all the good things that happened during the relationship? Is it impossible to look back on the good times and remember the good times, rather than focus on the bad? Everything in life is an experience, what's the point in living if you're scared of taking a risk?

I'm not actually sure whether I agree with this or disagree with it. I guess it's entirely dependent on cirumstance.

Sure, some would be happy to have tried and ultimately lost. To have the "benefit" of the experiences that their relationship brought to them, even if the relationship didn't last. The advantages of the good would outweight the bad. I was tempted to agree with this.

However I can certainly see it from the other perspective too, and so I think I'm simply undecided, at this point in my life. Making the decision to put everything on the line, and take every risk you can, and being perfectly happy to do this in the hope of succeeding in your relationship or potential one, and losing out, can be a pretty devestating feeling I would imagine.

I think I would probably take the risk, and continue to do so, and I think most people would. But I can definitely see why someone in this kind of situation could consider their gamble to be fruitless if that relationship ends, and if they choose to focus on the mess and the effects of the aftermath rather than any of the more positive moments of their relationship.

djchameleon · 04-18-2011, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pedestrian

I think whether it's worth it or not depends entirely on the aftermath, and not at all on the relationship itself.

If you go into a new relationship thinking that it's destined to fail and thinking about the negatives about it and what's going to happen afterwards then that relationship isn't going to be a pleasant one at all.

Mojo · 04-18-2011, 02:52 AM

I don't think she argued with that, but rather that just when looking back on a relationship, whether it was worth it or not can often depend on the aftermath rather than anything that happened during it. As in, you can only really know for sure once it's over?

djchameleon · 04-18-2011, 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mojopinuk

I don't think she argued with that, but rather that just when looking back on a relationship, whether it was worth it or not can often depend on the aftermath rather than anything that happened during it. As in, you can only really know for sure once it's over?

Oh that's what she was trying to say?

It seemed like she was saying whether it be worth it or not before you get into the relationship is dependent on the inevitable outcome/aftermath of it.

That's what I thought she was saying.

~~pooka~~ · 04-18-2011, 07:45 AM

whats love? semantics.

Howard the Duck · 04-18-2011, 08:17 AM

what is love anyway?

does anybody love anybody anyway?

(Howard Jones)

View Poll Results: Is it better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?
Yes	25	44.64%
No	10	17.86%
Who cares?	7	12.50%
anal beads	14	25.00%
Voters: 56. You may not vote on this poll

04-18-2011, 02:52 AM	#67 (permalink)
Mojo Melancholia Eternally Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: England Posts: 5,018	I don't think she argued with that, but rather that just when looking back on a relationship, whether it was worth it or not can often depend on the aftermath rather than anything that happened during it. As in, you can only really know for sure once it's over? __________________ Last.FM \| Echoes and Dust

04-17-2011, 12:57 PM	#61 (permalink)
Wayfarer Registered Abuser Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 573	Assuming we're talking about 'love' in the romantic sense and not generally.... in the grand scheme of things, I think it's better to have loved and lost at least once, just because it's a valuable experience that you can learn from, but after that, I can think of numerous wimmens I'd probably have been better off not loving at all. Loved and lost: yes Loved and lost and loved and lost and loved and lost and loved and lost and loved and lost: no Odd, though, how the worst relationship I was ever in was probably the one I learned the most from, and not just how to dodge flying glass plates.

04-17-2011, 05:54 PM	#62 (permalink)
Mr November Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Halifax, Canada Posts: 429	Anyone who has loved will have loved and lost. We all die someday. Does that mean we shouldn't bother? Love is a relatively meaningless word these days - but there's a general understanding in this context that it refers to an impossible to define emotion or quality. If anything is a part of the human experience, it is love. I don't know if animals can feel it, but I know humans can. Passion and love are the things that drive us to a sense of meaning in life.

04-17-2011, 06:34 PM	#63 (permalink)
Herocon Groupie Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 21	Well, if someone brakes up with you and brakes your heart, you may go into spiraling depression. But, if you'd never loved that person in the first place, would you be so miserable?

04-17-2011, 11:52 PM	#64 (permalink)
Paedantic Basterd Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 5,184	I think whether it's worth it or not depends entirely on the aftermath, and not at all on the relationship itself.

04-18-2011, 07:45 AM	#69 (permalink)
~~pooka~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: the local county jail Posts: 133	whats love? semantics.

04-18-2011, 08:17 AM	#70 (permalink)
Howard the Duck Live by the Sword Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Posts: 9,075	what is love anyway? does anybody love anybody anyway? (Howard Jones)