Is It Better To Have Loved, And Lost? Than To Have Never Loved At All?

djchameleon · 04-14-2011, 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by duga

I agree with this. It's just like the human idea of happiness. For some reason, everyone thinks if we work hard enough we can get to some point where we will be forever happy. That notion causes so much stress and depression it's ridiculous. Happiness is fleeting just like love.

There is a reason couples need to do something to "put the spark back into it". They need to be reminded of the reasons they fell in love with that person in the first place. It is one thing to think of those reasons and another to feel them.

Haha...I think everyone can tell the things that have been on my mind recently.

I disagree with the Happiness part. The pursuit of happiness is one that many attempt to achieve and get to the point where they can live and lead a stress-free life. It is attainable and it can stay forever once you achieve it. The whole thing about it is that one person's version of ultimate happiness isn't going to be the same as another what another person thinks they should achieve.

The spark you are talking about is romance, they still love each other as in they care about them and they don't want to see harm done to them. The thing you are talking about is romance. There are varying degrees of love. There is the romantic love that you share with your partner and then there is the more platonic love that you share with friends and family. That's the main reason why I say that love is more permanent that people like to believe but I guess i was more concentrated on the platonic love. Sure you could stop loving someone in a platonic way but those relationships between friends and family usually are more permanent and more long term than romantic love.

Bloozcrooz · 04-14-2011, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crash_override

Love is an investment, and like any investment. Your partner can wake up one morning and say f*ck it, I'm done. In which case you've just devoted the best years of your life to something that essentially equates to nothing. I'm sure the potential for reward is high as well, but the thought of possibly losing everything is kind of frightening. I guess it really depends on how much you're willing to risk...

Thats about as good as you can put it Crash. You have no control over someone elses emotions and thoughts. To play it safe is to never know the peak of happiness that true love can bring. Then again by the same token the complete agony it can inflict upon losing it. Depending on how you look at it is whether or not you think its worth it or not. The way I look at it is..other times in life when I was the happiest dont match up in comparison to times I was happy with someone I truly loved. Bringing new life into the world and sharing things of that nature. No amount of booze or chemical induced happiness will ever fill that void. I couldnt imagine life without having experienced it now though, and even though things didnt pan out the way i had hoped. The experience and other blessings from that relationship were well worth the risk.

Paedantic Basterd · 04-14-2011, 07:23 PM

I've actually come to believe that a romantic relationship needs a little bit of detachment to thrive, and that being heavily invested in another human being (as we are taught that love consists of) is unhealthy for both parties involved. Love can't be allowed to become obsession.

**Scarlett O'Hara** · 04-14-2011, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pedestrian

I've actually come to believe that a romantic relationship needs a little bit of detachment to thrive, and that being heavily invested in another human being (as we are taught that love consists of) is unhealthy for both parties involved. Love can't be allowed to become obsession.

I think a lot of people need to realise that. Particularly those on the internet.

djchameleon · 04-15-2011, 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vanilla

I think a lot of people need to realise that. Particularly those on the internet.

I know you are talking about me, just come out and say it. No, need to beat around the bush.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pedestrian

I've actually come to believe that a romantic relationship needs a little bit of detachment to thrive, and that being heavily invested in another human being (as we are taught that love consists of) is unhealthy for both parties involved. Love can't be allowed to become obsession.

What usually happens with love is that in the beginning stages, normally known as puppy love. It can be a bit obsessive but it doesn't always stay that way and that's right. The beginning stages is a combination of lust and love mixed together or what the person feels is love but it's not really love.

Love between two people that last long DOES need a bit of space. Relationships with people that see their partner as the only person to socialize with doesn't last too long most of the time. That's why it's good to have a girls night out and guys night out pretty regularly when you are in a relationship to give your partner some space away. I have made it a point to never date someone that doesn't have any friends. If they don't , I know they will try to be all under me all the time and won't ever want me to do anything without them which is bad!

**Scarlett O'Hara** · 04-15-2011, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

I know you are talking about me, just come out and say it. No, need to beat around the bush.

Dude, you need to stop being so sensitive. The world does not just revolve around you.

Peace.

djchameleon · 04-15-2011, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vanilla

Dude, you need to stop being so sensitive. The world does not just revolve around you.

I'm pretty sure the world has revolved around me since the day I was born 27 years ago.

**Scarlett O'Hara** · 04-15-2011, 09:21 AM

Not even!

FRED HALE SR. · 04-15-2011, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vanilla

I think a lot of people need to realise that. Particularly those on the internet.

People really need to get outside alot more and breathe air. All of this fake internet stuff is making people delusional. I love you.

MoonlitSunshine · 04-17-2011, 05:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crash_override

Love is an investment, and like any investment. Your partner can wake up one morning and say f*ck it, I'm done. In which case you've just devoted the best years of your life to something that essentially equates to nothing. I'm sure the potential for reward is high as well, but the thought of possibly losing everything is kind of frightening. I guess it really depends on how much you're willing to risk...

See, that's a statement I completely disagree with. Yeah, the person you love can stop loving you, or decide to run off with another guy, or whatever, but does that then negate all the good things that happened during the relationship? Is it impossible to look back on the good times and remember the good times, rather than focus on the bad? Everything in life is an experience, what's the point in living if you're scared of taking a risk?

View Poll Results: Is it better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?
Yes	25	44.64%
No	10	17.86%
Who cares?	7	12.50%
anal beads	14	25.00%
Voters: 56. You may not vote on this poll

04-15-2011, 09:21 AM	#58 (permalink)
Scarlett O'Hara Make it so Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 6,181	Not even! __________________ "Elph is truly an enfant terrible of the forum, bless and curse him" - Marie, Queen of Thots

04-14-2011, 07:23 PM	#53 (permalink)
Paedantic Basterd Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 5,184	I've actually come to believe that a romantic relationship needs a little bit of detachment to thrive, and that being heavily invested in another human being (as we are taught that love consists of) is unhealthy for both parties involved. Love can't be allowed to become obsession.