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Old 04-07-2011, 07:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Stupid things you've done to attract the opposite sex

About 11 years ago (I'd have only been 11) there was a girl who used to live across the street from me, she and her family moved in about a month after we did and their background was similar to ours; they came from the same areas and knew alot of the same people we did, she in fact went to school with alot of people I hung around with but somehow we'd never met. She was 13, and I swear was the sexiest thing my young eyes had ever seen.

I had no game whatsoever. I was still in the mindset that you are when you're young, I just went up to her and asked if she wanted to be friends and that was how we started talking. She introduced me to music as a pastime really, before that I'd always only listened to the radio in the car, or whatever my parents were listening to. She showed me what music was cool at the time, and what she liked, stuff like Craig David and Eminem.

I listened and learned about the music, and more importantly her, for months. This is where it gets really bad though. I started watching the music channels... and taping songs that she liked onto VHS, so I could re watch them and try to learn the words.... to then sing them when she was around to get her attention more. The worst part was that I never knew what song was going to be next, so I'd sit around for hours watching the music channels for these songs, and then press record. I eventually built up an hour or more of her songs (none of which had the start of the song where I didnt react to the opening in time) and learned the words to them.

Then in some awkward Romeo and Juliet type scenario, we'd be watching her tv... her from inside and me outside the house with her shouting to me from where she was sitting, and when a song that she liked came on I was able to sing it for her as well as it being on tv.

I also saved up pocket money for weeks and built up to asking her out to eat somewhere, which wasnt made easy by the fact that SOMEHOW her parents and my parents knew I fancied her, and were teasing me about her non stop. I eventually did ask her out, I was shítting bricks though. I have never been so nervous about a girl in my life, she said yes though, and I took her to McDonalds ().

I got my first kiss from her shortly after my 12th birthday, that was a disaster as well though. We went to the park around the corner from where we lived and played basketball (I have no idea why). On the walk home she started holding my hand, then stopped me walking when there was no one around and we started kissing. I had no idea what I was doing really, there is the possibility I puckered , and may have got a boner as well .
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Old 04-07-2011, 07:35 PM   #2 (permalink)
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That is seriously one of the sweetest things I've ever read. Aside from some of the pop culture related things you mentioned that could be an episode of The Wonder Years.


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Old 04-07-2011, 07:44 PM   #3 (permalink)
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What ever happened to her?!
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Old 04-07-2011, 07:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Plum View Post
What ever happened to her?!
Never ask that question... the answer may just involve the word 'trunk' and/or 'shovel'.
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Old 04-07-2011, 07:54 PM   #5 (permalink)
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^

That is very sweet though EvilChuck.

I wrote a poem to a guy I liked at my hall/dorms and he pinned it on his wall. Unfortunately he had a girlfriend but he never stopped wanting me back.
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Old 04-08-2011, 10:25 AM   #6 (permalink)
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What ever happened to her?!
She broke it off after i nailed her and took her to burger king.

Stupidest thing i ever did was try to awake the girl at 11pm at night with a lil rock thrown at her window. Window shattered into a million pieces and her dad was out in seconds ready to strangle me. I paid for the window with my paper route for months and i never even got a peck on the cheek. They don't make windows like the used to.
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Old 04-08-2011, 10:34 AM   #7 (permalink)
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i used to really fancy this girl at my tuition class whom I thought would be impressed by me singing Smiths' songs at the top of my voice

obviously, she later married one of my enemies
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Old 04-08-2011, 11:21 AM   #8 (permalink)
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You see, at the age of eleven, I was confident, and happy. There was this one dude, who I thought was kind of cute, and I was at a pool party. I tried doing some kind of "sexy" swimming move, but the fact that I never took swimming lessons finally caught up to me.

To sum it all up, unless if the lifeguard is the one you want, don't try to be sexy while swimming.
I nearly died that day.
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Old 04-08-2011, 11:46 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Say to a girl who worked in a bakery (at a party) that she had great muffins, fall over drunk, pass out. Wake up in the bathroom & chat to her friend while she's sitting on the toilet having a dump, fall asleep again and then almost fall out of a 2nd story window while asleep.
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Old 04-08-2011, 12:16 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Urban Hatemonger View Post
Say to a girl who worked in a bakery (at a party) that she had great muffins, fall over drunk, pass out. Wake up in the bathroom & chat to her friend while she's sitting on the toilet having a dump, fall asleep again and then almost fall out of a 2nd story window while asleep.
hahaha that's really solid. The bathroom part reminds me of when I was like 18 and went to the beach with some friends for a week of boozing. And we met 4 hott girls and invited them back to our room for drinks. And i drunkenly cornered one of them in the bathroom and insisted I had heard that she was a bad kisser and she had to prove me otherwise. Of course that failed and I am happy I left that week with no sexual assault charges filed. I later passed out in that bathroom with no pants and woke up with my head in the toilet and my hair gelled with vomit.

I've never done anything real stupid to attract or impress girls. The dumbest thing was back in highschool when I knew jack shit about girls and I would spend every night talking to this one girl from another school who I had a huge crush on. Like we would fall asleep with each other on the line. God I was gay. And I remember hanging out with her a lot and stuff, oblivious to what the friend zone was. Eventually I realized and started dating someone else. So I introduced her and hooked her up with my friend and they dated awhile. Then one night I blew up and told her how I wasted like a year being her shoulder to cry on and therapist and i just ranted about how pissed i was for a long time. I shouldn't have burned that bridge completely, she got really hott and slutty in college. But afterwards she said I was jealous of my friend who dated her which really pissed me off since I was the one who got them together. And it turned out, I eventually hated my friend for other reasons. So I made a diss track against both of them lol.

DISS TRACK
-Ignore the very last part, its me dissing some lame rapper i knew. he later tried to fight me in my apartment and once at the bar lol

lol pretty funny listening back on that. halfway through the song theres a little skip in the lyrics. It's cause she heard the song and called me crying and said she was gonna call the cops so i edited out the word "kill" cause in the song i said i was gonna murder her.
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