Local urban legends

Queen Boo · 03-22-2011, 08:31 PM

My principal fought in desert storm and I guess he lost a testicle. His son even says he really only has one testicle. He was supposed to have run over a camel with a storm trooper in desert storm too. I heard that the same camel bit his nut off or that it got shot off but exactly how he lost it isn't quite clear. I guess he might have had testicle cancer a few years back and kept it quiet so I feel sort of guilty about making fun of it and saying "Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh.......noooooo..... .." when I pass him in the hallway but he cheats on his wife with my teachers and is just a general ****ish person so I don't feel too guilty.

A guy a few schools over had sex with a dead cat then had sex with his girlfriend and she got this weird infection in her vagina. She tried to get it out with mayonaise and that seemed to work for a while but then she got a spontaneous orgasm in class. Everything was quiet, she was thinking about schoolwork, everyone around her was taking a test or something, quiet, deep in thought, and she just had this loud, random orgasm. At first she got in trouble and they yelled at her but then she got really upset and they believed her, she couldn't help it, so they took her to a doctor and saw that there were maggots in her vagina and them squirming around had given her the spontaneous orgasm.

I can't think of anymore. Post yours.

crukster · 03-22-2011, 08:42 PM

oooooooorrhhhh grroooss man maggot vagina

wouldnt bother my girlfriend she's used to my maggot (boom tshhhhhhh)

Closest thing to an urban legend around here is probably the old dude that turned up dead floating in the lake in the park. Apparently, if you poked him with a stick, bubbles came out.

Queen Boo · 03-22-2011, 08:47 PM

Thats not an urban legend, thats an actual dead guy.

crukster · 03-22-2011, 08:49 PM

Yeah but I didn't get to see him, my mum saw him and told me about it. Alas I did not get to poke the dead guy

Queen Boo · 03-22-2011, 09:04 PM

That kind of sucks.
But my principal probably just had a good old fashioned bout of testicle cancer and I don't think anybody ever had a maggot vagina or intercourse with a dead cat. Everybody just says these things happened because nothing happens around here. Urban legends are fucking great that way, they don't have to be true or even plausable, they just have to be interesting.

EvilChuck · 03-22-2011, 09:16 PM

There was a guy used to live in the same area as my cousins. He used to just walk around the streets in underwear while digging through the bins for food. He wasnt homeless though, he had a lovely house, one of the nicest I have ever seen. The road he lived on every house is worth at least £1 million.

The story about him is that his father suffered from depression, and was taking medication for it. One day the father disappeared along with his medication, and turned up a few days later dead. He became a doctor, spurred on by the loss of his father.

The details get a bit hazy here, he apparently became a surgeon and his wife needed an operation, which he performed. She died during the procedure. He blamed himself (naturally) and it sent him crazy, which is why he started walking the streets in his underwear rummaging through bins.

He died a few years ago, cancer got him. Doctors said afterwards that he would have been going through an incredible amount of pain whilst walking because of how ill he was, but he was walking the streets probably up to a few days before his death.

Queen Boo · 03-22-2011, 09:18 PM

Dear god, thats one of the best ones I've ever heard. Its sort of beautiful.

crukster · 03-22-2011, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tumor

That kind of sucks.
But my principal probably just had a good old fashioned bout of testicle cancer and I don't think anybody ever had a maggot vagina or intercourse with a dead cat. Everybody just says these things happened because nothing happens around here. Urban legends are ****ing great that way, they don't have to be true or even plausable, they just have to be interesting.

ffs I thought the second one was real, derp. That's my problem, I can't tell the difference with these things.

I remember a few stories which were probably bull****.

There were apparently these lesbians that lived around the corner to me, and me and my mate used to stake out on the way home from school and try and see something. After 3 months of staking out all we saw was an old lady feeding a cat so either we got the wrong sort of house...or the wrong sort of pussy I dunno

Another one was there was apparently a pedo that lived in the old house in the alley in the park near where I live. He went mad and murdered his wife, somewhere along the way he got a hook hand. And he used to kidnap little kids and take them up to his house and do weird stuff. We used to go and chuck rocks at the window and run, but the friend who told me about it was always a bit TOO keen to go down there. I heard lately he's gone a bit weird now we've grown up lol

lol and my friend at Junior School said, in the bunkers behind the school there' this giant EGG. And he went up there and the egg hatched and it went BWWWWAAAAAALLLLLLLLRHRHHRH at him. So he locked the door and ran. He also thought pokemon were real and his Uncle could make them by splicing animal dna with computer codes. And he made a ditto but he couldnt find it cos it transformed into everything in the lab and played tricks. So I ordered a Squirtle. Never got it.

Thing is I actually believed all these were true when I was little, man I was a ****ing idiot back then

FETCHER. · 03-22-2011, 09:34 PM

i thought by urban legends, this kind of **** was meant.

Local Information - Local History - Black Lady

the house in the photo is now the Applebank pub

they serve awesome traditional dinners. visit it if you're ever in the area.

s_k · 03-22-2011, 09:56 PM

There's a lot of kids' legends about our house.
It has been sitting here not being completely finished for 12 years.
So yeah, that raises stories. It's a brilliant house though

03-22-2011, 09:56 PM	#10 (permalink)
s_k Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 2,206	There's a lot of kids' legends about our house. It has been sitting here not being completely finished for 12 years. So yeah, that raises stories. It's a brilliant house though __________________ Click here to see my collection

03-22-2011, 08:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
crukster Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 181	oooooooorrhhhh grroooss man maggot vagina wouldnt bother my girlfriend she's used to my maggot (boom tshhhhhhh) Closest thing to an urban legend around here is probably the old dude that turned up dead floating in the lake in the park. Apparently, if you poked him with a stick, bubbles came out.

03-22-2011, 08:49 PM	#4 (permalink)
crukster Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 181	Yeah but I didn't get to see him, my mum saw him and told me about it. Alas I did not get to poke the dead guy

03-22-2011, 09:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
EvilChuck #based Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: (Near) London, England Posts: 443	There was a guy used to live in the same area as my cousins. He used to just walk around the streets in underwear while digging through the bins for food. He wasnt homeless though, he had a lovely house, one of the nicest I have ever seen. The road he lived on every house is worth at least £1 million. The story about him is that his father suffered from depression, and was taking medication for it. One day the father disappeared along with his medication, and turned up a few days later dead. He became a doctor, spurred on by the loss of his father. The details get a bit hazy here, he apparently became a surgeon and his wife needed an operation, which he performed. She died during the procedure. He blamed himself (naturally) and it sent him crazy, which is why he started walking the streets in his underwear rummaging through bins. He died a few years ago, cancer got him. Doctors said afterwards that he would have been going through an incredible amount of pain whilst walking because of how ill he was, but he was walking the streets probably up to a few days before his death.