I need some social skills help...

~~[MERIT]~~ · 03-20-2011, 06:04 PM

If I'm understanding this correctly, your goal is to be able to relate more to people in your own age group or social circle, NOT to be able to find other that you can relate to (regardless of age).

I feel that if others cannot relate to you, the onus should not be on you to change yourself to accomodate them.

But I do realize that everyone wants to fit in and have pleasant and enjoyable social experiences. What seems to be the problem, specifically? Is it that you don't have things in common (music, films, interests, etc), or is it the inability to communicate those like interests? Every social group, regardless of age or location, is going to have the airheads and brain-dead morons, that's a given. But according the law of averages, there should be some people with genuine intellects which may appeal to you, it may just take some digging to pry it out of them.

GeddyBass2112 · 03-20-2011, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oojay

If I'm understanding this correctly, your goal is to be able to relate more to people in your own age group or social circle, NOT to be able to find other that you can relate to (regardless of age).

I feel that if others cannot relate to you, the onus should not be on you to change yourself to accomodate them.

But I do realize that everyone wants to fit in and have pleasant and enjoyable social experiences. What seems to be the problem, specifically? Is it that you don't have things in common (music, films, interests, etc), or is it the inability to communicate those like interests? Every social group, regardless of age or location, is going to have the airheads and brain-dead morons, that's a given. But according the law of averages, there should be some people with genuine intellects which may appeal to you, it may just take some digging to pry it out of them.

The problem is that it just seems that I have nothing AT ALL in common with anyone I've met my age, both with the actual interests themselves and also the way these people think. As I said, most girls to me seem to be superficial- they're interested in their clothes or hair or whatever, yet show little ability to show interest in anything else.

@Plum: It's a problem because at the moment I look like a pretentious asshat and as a result, people my age think I'm snobby.

~~Sansa Stark~~ · 03-20-2011, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeddyBass2112

The problem is that it just seems that I have nothing AT ALL in common with anyone I've met my age, both with the actual interests themselves and also the way these people think. As I said, most girls to me seem to be superficial- they're interested in their clothes or hair or whatever, yet show little ability to show interest in anything else.

@Plum: It's a problem because at the moment I look like a pretentious asshat and as a result, people my age think I'm snobby.

So? As long as you have someone you can relate to, no matter what the age, then it really shouldn't matter. If they're superficial, why do you care what they think? **** em

holly984 · 03-20-2011, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeddyBass2112

@Plum: It's a problem because at the moment I look like a pretentious asshat and as a result, people my age think I'm snobby.

Try not to worry about what people your age think. I know it's easier said than done, but who cares if they think you are pretentious. Why does their opinion matter anyway.

If there are older people with who you enjoy spending time with, don't let the opinions of others, who clearly don't have your best interests at heart, dictate whether or not you find friendship...no matter the age.

Freebase Dali · 03-20-2011, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeddyBass2112

The problem is that it just seems that I have nothing AT ALL in common with anyone I've met my age, both with the actual interests themselves and also the way these people think. As I said, most girls to me seem to be superficial- they're interested in their clothes or hair or whatever, yet show little ability to show interest in anything else.

Why is this a bad thing?
If you ask me, I wish there were more girls like you. I think you should see this as a sign of evolution, and enjoy your position on the top of the social-intellectual chain. It may net you quite a lonely existence, and nerdy boyfriends (Me!!! Please?), but you'll be far more fulfilled even at the prospect of connecting with someone on your level, than dumbing yourself down for the sake of a connection that really doesn't mean anything to you.

I think you should worry less about you not relating to most other chicks, and more about them not relating to you.

~~Sansa Stark~~ · 03-20-2011, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

Why is this a bad thing?
If you ask me, I wish there were more girls like you. I think you should see this as a sign of evolution, and enjoy your position on the top of the social-intellectual chain. It may net you quite a lonely existence, and nerdy boyfriends (Me!!! Please?), but you'll be far more fulfilled even at the prospect of connecting with someone on your level, than dumbing yourself down for the sake of a connection that really doesn't mean anything to you.

I think you should worry less about you not relating to most other chicks, and more about them not relating to you.

this.

+ Nerdy boyfriends make the best boyfriends

P A N · 03-20-2011, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

Why is this a bad thing?
If you ask me, I wish there were more girls like you. I think you should see this as a sign of evolution, and enjoy your position on the top of the social-intellectual chain. It may net you quite a lonely existence, and nerdy boyfriends (Me!!! Please?), but you'll be far more fulfilled even at the prospect of connecting with someone on your level, than dumbing yourself down for the sake of a connection that really doesn't mean anything to you.

I think you should worry less about you not relating to most other chicks, and more about them not relating to you..

.

CanwllCorfe · 03-20-2011, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeddyBass2112

It's a problem because at the moment I look like a pretentious asshat and as a result, people my age think I'm snobby.

I've had that same kind thing happen to me. In my one art class, someone said that hearing me talk made them think that they "should read a book". And then when I was hanging out with my friend Johnny, he was skyping with one of his friends from Jersey. After awhile she said that I sounded "very white". I occasionally feel the need to change my wording, because I really don't want people to think of me like that. But then I realized that I shouldn't go DOWN to their level, they should be UP on my level. And my level isn't even that high. I take the stairs. It's not my fault.

03-20-2011, 06:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
~~[MERIT]~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Missouri, USA Posts: 4,823	If I'm understanding this correctly, your goal is to be able to relate more to people in your own age group or social circle, NOT to be able to find other that you can relate to (regardless of age). I feel that if others cannot relate to you, the onus should not be on you to change yourself to accomodate them. But I do realize that everyone wants to fit in and have pleasant and enjoyable social experiences. What seems to be the problem, specifically? Is it that you don't have things in common (music, films, interests, etc), or is it the inability to communicate those like interests? Every social group, regardless of age or location, is going to have the airheads and brain-dead morons, that's a given. But according the law of averages, there should be some people with genuine intellects which may appeal to you, it may just take some digging to pry it out of them.