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Old 02-27-2011, 08:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
love will tear you apart
 
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Default How to create your own fleshlight
Ever wanted one but you've been too embarrassed to go out and buy one? Missus won't let you? Too young? Look no further!



You will need:
-1 Plastic cup
-1 (soft) cleaning pad
-1 Rubber glove
-No self respect

Instructions:
Cut the cleaning pad in half.
Place the glove between the two halves of the cleaning pad.
Slide the sandwiched glove into the plastic cup.
Pull over the excess glove around the rim of the cup.



Enjoy.

Or, for the Star Wars fans - a Yoda fleshlight:

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Old 02-27-2011, 08:42 PM   #2 (permalink)
A.B.N.
 
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oh man...that doesn't even....I don't.....yeaah....

it's probably not going to feel the same.
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Fame, fortune, power, titties. People say these are the most crucial things in life, but you can have a pocket full o' gold and it doesn't mean sh*t if you don't have someone to share that gold with. Seems simple. Yet it's an important lesson to learn. Even lone wolves run in packs sometimes.


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Originally Posted by RoxyRollah View Post
IMO I don't know jack-**** though so don't listen to me.
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The problem is that most police officers in America are psychopaths.
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Old 02-27-2011, 09:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
\/ GOD
 
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Brilliant.
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Terence Hill, as recently confirmed during an interview to an Italian TV talk-show, was offered the role but rejected it because he considered it "too violent". Dustin Hoffman and John Travolta declined the role for the same reason. When Al Pacino was considered for the role of John Rambo, he turned it down when his request that Rambo be more of a madman was rejected.
Al Pacino = God
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Old 02-28-2011, 12:45 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Yes!!
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Old 02-28-2011, 04:40 AM   #5 (permalink)
Seemingly Silenced
 
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A friend of mine bought one of these for his 18th birthday a few years back. What a moment of shame. Sad thing is, he's done so much more ****ed up **** that we don't even give him hell about that anymore. Anyway, his came with a fancy "post-use cleaning kit" and everything. It was pretty disturbing.

Edit: You're actually supposed to microwave it briefly to warm it up before you use it...



yeah.
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Old 02-28-2011, 04:46 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crash_override View Post
A friend of mine bought one of these for his 18th birthday a few years back. What a moment of shame. Sad thing is, he's done so much more ****ed up **** that we don't even give him hell about that anymore. Anyway, his came with a fancy "post-use cleaning kit" and everything. It was pretty disturbing.

Edit: You're actually supposed to microwave it briefly to warm it up before you use it...



yeah.
word? you mean I've been using a cold fleshlight for years and didn't know?
__________________
Fame, fortune, power, titties. People say these are the most crucial things in life, but you can have a pocket full o' gold and it doesn't mean sh*t if you don't have someone to share that gold with. Seems simple. Yet it's an important lesson to learn. Even lone wolves run in packs sometimes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by RoxyRollah View Post
IMO I don't know jack-**** though so don't listen to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franco Pepe Kalle View Post
The problem is that most police officers in America are psychopaths.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Batlord View Post
You're a terrible dictionary.
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Old 02-28-2011, 04:49 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djchameleon View Post
word? you mean I've been using a cold fleshlight for years and didn't know?
Very corpse-like.
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Originally Posted by OBEY
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Old 02-28-2011, 04:57 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crash_override View Post
Very corpse-like.
well not really....the lube I use tends to make it feel good regardless of it not being warm.
__________________
Fame, fortune, power, titties. People say these are the most crucial things in life, but you can have a pocket full o' gold and it doesn't mean sh*t if you don't have someone to share that gold with. Seems simple. Yet it's an important lesson to learn. Even lone wolves run in packs sometimes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by RoxyRollah View Post
IMO I don't know jack-**** though so don't listen to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franco Pepe Kalle View Post
The problem is that most police officers in America are psychopaths.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Batlord View Post
You're a terrible dictionary.
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Old 02-28-2011, 05:41 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I'm not sure this beats the old Bait 'N Tackle.
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Old 02-28-2011, 06:01 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djchameleon View Post
it's probably not going to feel the same.
And you know this because...?
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