How I met my x-wife..."your truck or mine?"

Oh and I used that cheesey STUD joke a while back already. Its in "The Bitch Box" thread

I heard this one on an airplane commercial once and thought it was funny.

If everyone looked like you I wouldn't need eye lids

Get ur coat love.. you've just pulled

your eyes are as blue as my toilet water.. hahah total failure

Lol...Are you as easy as everyone says you are? (only offends the guilty)

"Wanna come back to my place? My mom won't be home for hours."

"I'm going to flip this coin. Your call. Am I getting head or tail?"

"Hey, are you legal?"

"Hey, would you like a tic-tac?"
"No thanks."
"Please! Take one!"

"Your parents must be a.ssholes because you're the s.hit."

For Always Sunny fans:
"I'm a full-on rapist."

And the best line:

Hey, does this smell like clorophorm to you?

worst I heard is, and this actually happened to a female friend when we were in a group

"i've got a very large knob"

I told him to fuck off and he called me a wanker then pushed away cos there were 3 men in our group

One I conceived:

How about I take you home tonight, and pump you so full of me I bleed out your eyes.

Oh dear