djchameleon

I just couldn't vote for The Accidental and it had nothing to do with the length/way it was formatted. I would love to see the play but having to read the script for the play isn't the same. I feel like it lost a bit of its edge that way. I was also a bit confused as to what the plot was supposed to be. I don't know if you wanted it to be opened to interpretation or what but it confused me. I also felt a bit frustrated by some of the dialogue that was being exchanged between the characters I'm not sure if that was in your intent or not to frustrate the reader but mission accomplished.

A Path To Consequence
The Comatorium
The Day I Was Insane

Out of those three I had a very hard time deciding which I was going to vote on.
A Path To Consequence drew me in with the heavy use of language/words but it did feel after awhile like the person just flipped through their thesaurus and looked for as many different variants as they could find. Remember this old adage: Keep It Simple Stupid. Sometimes the use of complex wording isn't always necessary to get your point across. You also have to keep in mind the audience that you are writing for.

The Comatorium I really enjoyed reading this. I will re-read it again so I can give you some constructive criticism.

The Day I Was Insane
The reason I voted for this one on top of really enjoying what I read. I liked the way how it was structured into four parts to show the progression between the events that was happening. I think what really swayed my vote is that I like stories about mental asylums/crazy people. One of my favorite movies is The Jacket. A clockwork Orange and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is among my favorites as well Another reason it was tough between voting for this one and Comatorium.

I knew after I submitted my story that I should have edited my paragraphs a bit more so it was easier on the eyes to read. Also, the reason I put the main details of the plot smack dab in the beginning is because I wanted to try something new by doing it that way instead of stringing the readers along with the heaviness of the plot and trying to figure out the mystery. I wanted to focus more on the action and what was going on with the character itself.

I will leave more comments on the others a little later.

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