Embarrassing

~~Cuthbert~~ · 08-19-2013, 08:21 PM

Came home drunk in the early hours of the morning once when I was about 16ish so a while back now. Was watching telly in bed and one of those Babestation type shows was on. I sent two or three explicit foot related texts from my phone (they read the texts out on screen, fuck knows why I did it I was pissed) and thought nothing of it. I bought a new phone not long after and a mate didn't have one so I said he could have my old one. We were on a night out some time after and there was a few of us there having a beer. Out of nowhere he goes 'Oh yeah Martin, I've got a bone to pick with you' and pulls the phone out of his pocket, goes into the sentbox and proceeds to rip the shit of out me, reading out these dirty texts I'd sent in front of everyone. Felt like a right dickhead.

I necked a pint on holiday once on an empty stomach and as I got up to leave the bar I could feel it swirling around in my stomach, my eyes and mouth just started watering, I knew I was struggling and wasn't gonna be able to hold it in and I was sick there and then, it ricocheted off the floor/bar and went over a girl's bare legs who was stood at the bar. I looked at her, she looked at me and I just carried on walking.

One time playing football on the astro turf, a lad on my team brought one of theirs down in the box, one of their players, a Pakistani lad at the other end of the pitch, runs all the way over to our end argue about it when there was no fucking way he could have saw from where he was. I point back the other way and tell him to 'fuck off back to where you came from'

.

I have shit myself once too on the way out to the city centre when I was ill (Diarrhoea) but managed to get back to my house before bumping in to anyone. Potentially that one could have been a disaster.

Trollheart · 08-20-2013, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christian Benteke

Came home drunk in the early hours of the morning once when I was about 16ish so a while back now. Was watching telly in bed and one of those Babestation type shows was on. I sent two or three explicit foot related texts from my phone (they read the texts out on screen, fuck knows why I did it I was pissed) and thought nothing of it. I bought a new phone not long after and a mate didn't have one so I said he could have my old one. We were on a night out some time after and there was a few of us there having a beer. Out of nowhere he goes 'Oh yeah Martin, I've got a bone to pick with you' and pulls the phone out of his pocket, goes into the sentbox and proceeds to rip the shit of out me, reading out these dirty texts I'd sent in front of everyone. Felt like a right dickhead.

Okay I don't understand this. Was he pissed because he found the text on your phone and people might have thought he sent it, or did he just not like the fact you sent the text? Anyway, you NEVER take anyone's old phone and if you do you do a serious deepscan level clearout of it, getting rid of any incriminating pics, videos, texts or phone numbers because these days handing someone your phone is like handing them your life.

Quote:

I necked a pint on holiday once on an empty stomach and as I got up to leave the bar I could feel it swirling around in my stomach, my eyes and mouth just started watering, I knew I was struggling and wasn't gonna be able to hold it in and I was sick there and then, it ricocheted off the floor/bar and went over a girl's bare legs who was stood at the bar. I looked at her, she looked at me and I just carried on walking.

You didn't even apologise? Shame! I would at least have offered to clean her legs -- with me tongue!

Quote:

One time playing football on the astro turf, a lad on my team brought one of theirs down in the box, one of their players, a Pakistani lad at the other end of the pitch, runs all the way over to our end argue about it when there was no fucking way he could have saw from where he was. I point back the other way and tell him to 'fuck off back to where you came from'

.

But by saying that you meant back to the other end of the field, of course. Didn't you?

Quote:

I have shit myself once too on the way out to the city centre when I was ill (Diarrhoea) but managed to get back to my house before bumping in to anyone. Potentially that one could have been a disaster.

I refuse to comment on this, except to say that once, when I was MUCH younger (say six or seven) and at school I knew I had to have a **** but the teacher would NOT let anyone leave the classroom and the inevitable happened. Let me just say it was not a pleasant walk home that day!
Gaah! Thanks for reminding me of that, Benteke-who-was-Fluffy!

~~Cuthbert~~ · 08-20-2013, 01:15 PM

The reason my mate read the texts out was because he wanted a laugh, just wanted to wind me up a bit I guess. I don't think I'd have done the same but it was my own fault.

PoorOldPo · 08-20-2013, 01:17 PM

I embarrass myself all the time, everyone does, the key is the recovery. It has to be smooth and cool. Almost casual.

Plankton · 08-20-2013, 01:33 PM

I sharted once. No regrets.

Paul Smeenus · 08-20-2013, 01:41 PM

So, most of what I'm seeing is, while truly embarrassing, something we've all done, I'm not seeing anything like clubbing yourself with brute force over the head with a steel pipe. If nothing else I feel I'm owed some level of kudos for idiotic originality.

Mondo Bungle · 08-20-2013, 01:51 PM

I think most, if not all, of my embarrassing moments have been while drunk.
There was this one night around christmas, we were playing 7-11 (drinking game), and it was my turn for like an hour, so that required me to chug beers nonstop for an hour, like the whole thing. Must have downed over twenty in one chug each. I don't even remember getting up from the table. But according to my friends, I threw up all over this other drunk guy's hands, and in return he threw up on mine, I had to be changed like a child. And I guess at one point while everyone was out smoking a cigarette, I was alone in the room with this girl, and I tried to stand up from the couch, but just fell over instantly, slamming my face on the underbar of a table and cutting my face open. I threw up again while I was there on the ground.

The best thing about my friends is that we don't criticize, because everyone's been there before.

The Batlord · 08-21-2013, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul Smeenus

So, most of what I'm seeing is, while truly embarrassing, something we've all done, I'm not seeing anything like clubbing yourself with brute force over the head with a steel pipe. If nothing else I feel I'm owed some level of kudos for idiotic originality.

That may be dumber than getting caught with the vacuum cleaner by your mother, but it's definitely not more embarrassing. And **** you, it actually happened.

Plankton · 08-21-2013, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul Smeenus

So, most of what I'm seeing is, while truly embarrassing, something we've all done, I'm not seeing anything like clubbing yourself with brute force over the head with a steel pipe. If nothing else I feel I'm owed some level of kudos for idiotic originality.

It takes a certain kind of special to do that Smeen. I, for one, commend you on your special-ness.

After my GF's father passed away, the whole family gathered at the home in which he lived, and they (all 7 of em) grew up. We were there to basically say goodbye one last time before they sold. So of course, there was lots of aclohol, and I normally don't touch the hard stuff, but made the really bad choice of downing some tequila shots. I had rode my bike there, thinking it would be a good idea since I knew we were all gonna get shit-faced.

Bad idea.

On my drunken bike ride home, along a very busy street, I came into contact with a paver that was part of a circle around a tree. I then proceeded to 'endo', and my face broke my fall up against said tree. I took pictures of my injuries, as well as the tree and vicinity the next day thinking that this tree and paver situation was an unnecessary hazard and someone needs to take it down, but then I thought... I was just drunk.

Just a week ago, while riding I was approaching a really nice looking woman and her meathead boyfriend. The BF decided he was gonna be a dick, and just stand his ground, which in turn made me have to veer off the sidewalk onto the grass to pass them, and when I went to get back on the sidewalk, my tire caught the edge, and down I went. The woman was in a bit of a shock at seeing this and asked me if I was ok, to which I just threw my hands up while saying "I'm fine, I'm fine", with an added "Asshole" under my breath. As I was riding away I could hear her giving the meathead a mouthful as I snickered.

Not drunk.

Trollheart · 08-21-2013, 01:22 PM

Well like I said before, the road is for bikes. I agree the guy was an ******* but if anyone comes at me on their bike on the path (sidewalk) I too would stand in front of them, or at least not get out of the way. Hey, do I stand in the ROAD when you decide to use it once in a while? No I don't, so why do you get to use whichever you choose? Pavement's for pedestrians pal. That's why your bike has wheels.

Unless of course you were on a bicycle path, in which case ignore all the above.

08-20-2013, 01:17 PM	#14 (permalink)
PoorOldPo Blue Pill Oww Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Luimneach, Eire Posts: 1,107	I embarrass myself all the time, everyone does, the key is the recovery. It has to be smooth and cool. Almost casual. __________________ https://www.instagram.com/hennas.lullaby/

08-20-2013, 01:33 PM	#15 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	I sharted once. No regrets. __________________ See location...

08-21-2013, 01:22 PM	#20 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	Well like I said before, the road is for bikes. I agree the guy was an ******* but if anyone comes at me on their bike on the path (sidewalk) I too would stand in front of them, or at least not get out of the way. Hey, do I stand in the ROAD when you decide to use it once in a while? No I don't, so why do you get to use whichever you choose? Pavement's for pedestrians pal. That's why your bike has wheels. Unless of course you were on a bicycle path, in which case ignore all the above. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

08-19-2013, 08:21 PM	#11 (permalink)
~~Cuthbert~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: The Black Country Posts: 8,827	Came home drunk in the early hours of the morning once when I was about 16ish so a while back now. Was watching telly in bed and one of those Babestation type shows was on. I sent two or three explicit foot related texts from my phone (they read the texts out on screen, fuck knows why I did it I was pissed) and thought nothing of it. I bought a new phone not long after and a mate didn't have one so I said he could have my old one. We were on a night out some time after and there was a few of us there having a beer. Out of nowhere he goes 'Oh yeah Martin, I've got a bone to pick with you' and pulls the phone out of his pocket, goes into the sentbox and proceeds to rip the shit of out me, reading out these dirty texts I'd sent in front of everyone. Felt like a right dickhead. I necked a pint on holiday once on an empty stomach and as I got up to leave the bar I could feel it swirling around in my stomach, my eyes and mouth just started watering, I knew I was struggling and wasn't gonna be able to hold it in and I was sick there and then, it ricocheted off the floor/bar and went over a girl's bare legs who was stood at the bar. I looked at her, she looked at me and I just carried on walking. One time playing football on the astro turf, a lad on my team brought one of theirs down in the box, one of their players, a Pakistani lad at the other end of the pitch, runs all the way over to our end argue about it when there was no fucking way he could have saw from where he was. I point back the other way and tell him to 'fuck off back to where you came from' . I have shit myself once too on the way out to the city centre when I was ill (Diarrhoea) but managed to get back to my house before bumping in to anyone. Potentially that one could have been a disaster.

08-20-2013, 01:15 PM	#13 (permalink)
~~Cuthbert~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: The Black Country Posts: 8,827	The reason my mate read the texts out was because he wanted a laugh, just wanted to wind me up a bit I guess. I don't think I'd have done the same but it was my own fault.