s_k

Haha, I guess.

__________________
Click here to see my collection

djchameleon

yeah sure you were friends during the relationship but things could have ended so badly that those friendship bridges were burned and you HAVE to exclude your ex from future contact. I don't expect you to ever understand that with the way you carry on with your exes. Just thought I would go into a bit more detail

__________________

Fame, fortune, power, titties. People say these are the most crucial things in life, but you can have a pocket full o' gold and it doesn't mean sh*t if you don't have someone to share that gold with. Seems simple. Yet it's an important lesson to learn. Even lone wolves run in packs sometimes.

s_k

I see. I think we just broke up before we got into trouble.
I don't have regular contact with my other ex by the way. But it's not awkward to see her and I've seen her... I dunno, 5 times since we broke up in 2002 or something. It's been a while

__________________
Click here to see my collection

MoonlitSunshine

*shrug* I was in a three year relationship with a friend. We split on pretty good terms (she didn't want it to end at the time, and got a little nasty for a month or two, but she'd come to realise it was the right thing within a few months). We get along, and we're amiable towards each other and our mutual friends, but we barely eeeever see each other, because it turned out that when you stripped sex and general snuggling from the relationship, apart watching various things together (which in itself didn't happen that often), we didn't actually have that much in common.

I guess sometimes when you're in a relationship, you blank out the bad stuff, and just concentrate on the good things, but when the relationship ends, you realise just how few and far between your similarities are.

__________________
"I found it eventually, at the bottom of a locker in a disused laboratory, with a sign on the door saying "Beware of the Leopard". Ever thought of going into Advertising?"

- Arthur Dent

s_k

I sort of found out we could do without sex years ago. A condome tore and it took her some time before she started using the pill (some time equals a full year... yeah).
So I knew that wouldn't be a problem. What I found rather hard is her not wanting to have sex with me anymore. That's a bit strange for me.

__________________
Click here to see my collection

Thom Yorke

A while ago I went out to Boston Pizza to watch the UFC fights with a group of friends. There was about 8 or 9 of us, all guys. We got a big table and randomlly this cute girl comes up to the table and is like, "Hey boys!"

So... my reasoning for not saying anything back is because I thought she knew some of the guys at the table, and I was just waiting for them to say something. I guess everyone at the table was thinking along the same lines because right after she said it everyone stopped talking and just stared at her. It lasted a few painfully awkward seconds and then she took off. Right after she left everyone was like, "Did you know her? I thought you knew her! Man, I would have been so on that if I knew you guys didn't know her!", etc., etc.

Obviously embarassing for her, but embarassing for us as well, because you just knew she was like, "Wow... So I guess those guys have never seen a girl in their life before."

djchameleon

haha ouch that is super awkward, yeah she probably thought you guys were a bunch of mouth breather nerds that have never seen a girl in your lives.

__________________

Fame, fortune, power, titties. People say these are the most crucial things in life, but you can have a pocket full o' gold and it doesn't mean sh*t if you don't have someone to share that gold with. Seems simple. Yet it's an important lesson to learn. Even lone wolves run in packs sometimes.

Dirty

WTF wait, so a rubber broke and she didn't want to have sex for a year after that?

When me and my girl of like 2+ years finally called it quits, we still visited each other and had sex a lot. Sex was how our relationship started and how it ended, which I think is pretty fitting considering once you stripped away the sex and dirty jokes and stuff there wasn't a whole lot there. So we banged for a few months cause sex was what we did best with each other but then after like 5 months or so she said she couldn't do it anymore. Cause we were in this constant state of limbo of wanting to get back together but doubting it would work out, so basically just banging til one of us found someone else. But I remember her driving to my place and us being in bed and her just starting to cry and being like "i cant do this anymore, its too hard for me" and leaving. I cared about her a lot but I knew we weren't going anywhere and I could put aside my feelings that had started dying months ago and just bang for awhile. I think girls are generally just more emotionally invested with sex. And I could tell our sex after breaking up wasn't nearly as good. She didn't seem as into it or as enthusiastic.

But sk, you DON'T have a typical relationship with your ex, so i see why it might be hard for you to imagine not seeing her. Personally, I feel like it's just too different seeing someone as a girlfriend then trying to see them as a friend. I don't act the same way with my girlfriend as I would with my female friends. Just little stuff like your protective instincts coming into play or just seeing an ex and, without even thinking about it, instinctively put your arm around her or kiss her forehead or something like that. Know what I'm sayin? Old habits die hard I guess. My ex lives 5 hours away now and we've gone our separate ways and don't talk anymore. Eventually you just get to a realization that you are NOT meant for each other and are NEVER going to work as a couple. sk, the reason you don't feel like that and still want to see your ex is cause you want her back and still think theres a chance you two could be together.

s_k

Haha, yeah. Yeah we did pretty much everything there is to do except the actual ****ing, obviously.
My girlfriend was in a bad mental state at that point in time and her going to the doctor to get er prescription for the pill was really out of the question. I understood that. I didn't like it by the way. It's ****ing frustrating. But there was not much to do at it at that point.

Funny you should say that.
It sort of was impossible for my ex and me not to have sex when we were together, long before we had a relationship. There definitely was more to the relationship than sex, but it sort of broke the ice when it came to talking about beginning a realtionship.

Oh I see this happening with us too at some time.
She has a boyfriend now so, no way, but I wouldn't be surprised if the same would happen. I don't think that's a good idea... But we'll see.

Never really got the chance to try that out.
As far as sex goes, I mentioned this somewhere before, I would have sex without a relationship, I won't have sex without love. I tried fooling myself over that one time and it sucked. So I am, in that way, emotionally invested with sex.

I have seen her as a friend for years before we started having sex and having a relationship. And it's ****ing hard to see eachother differently. But, at least in this case, we got used to it.
Doesn't mean I don't want us to get together again, but I actually can live with the thought we'll never be together and... well... move on . There were points this seemed impossible, but I somehow got through that period and now I'm fine with it.
I understand that there's a lot of people who have been there and say 'man what are you doing to yourself?' but I don't think any of them went through an awful year of misery just to keep it together and found themselves starting to feel good again.

Sure, same here. But I would do the same with my female friends.
It's just well... This:

I never had these habits with my female friends. But I do have this protective instinct. Less than with my girlfriend, obviously. We've been together for years and I just know when something is wrong, I know what she's afraid of everytime she has to go somewhere, I know what (and this is a tricky one) she feels like when her new boyfriend treats her the way you just shouldn't treat her. Not because it's particularly bad, but just because she doesn't work that way. So yeah, I understand what you mean.

Eitherway, I am protective of all my female friends, but there's obviously a difference between them and my ex. Mainly in a physical (hugging/kiss on the forehead, like you mentioned) way. You just do this stuff easier with your ex as it still feels 'normal'. But I wouldn't think of it as strange should I do the same with my female friends.

2 hours away, growing closer every day, talk daily

Ghehe, no, the reason is that we are meant for eachother but in a different way than we may have thought in the first place. She and I agree on that.
You sort of make it sound like I'm desperate, but I'm not the only one keeping this contact alive. She's the one sending me a text with a sweet good morning text, she's the one sending me a post card with something nice in it. I do the same, obviously. But if you think I'm running after her, think twice. That's definitely not the case.

And me wanting her back? I don't know. Not as it used to be.
I even get the feeling I get used to the idea of not having her back and she's actually becoming more close every day. There were times when we wouldn't talk to eachother in two, three days. Now there's a text message from her when she wakes up, when she goes to sleep, when she comes back from the store, when she's in the train to school, when she's in the train back from school. I love that, by the way. I like being in contact a lot with my friends.
Gheh, it was pretty shocking to see the SMS count on her phone.
She had her phone for a couple of days.
Her boyfriend: 15 texts
Her mom: 2 texts
Her best friend: 6 texts
Me: 280 texts .

It's meant to be that way dude. You'll understand it sometime.
In the meantime, just take it as it is. I'm really really fine with it .
Not desperate, not feeling down, I do see other girls, it's allright.

__________________
Click here to see my collection

Dirty

I wasn't trying to say you were desperate and I wasn't like taking a jab at you. I'm just saying, I know why me and my ex don't talk. Cause we are never going to be in a relationship again. Took like half a year of banging and constant back-and-forth, and fighting and letting go and all that stuff to realize it. But eventually you just get to that point where you don't want them, they don't want you, and you move on. I'm saying that you are NOT at that point. You never will be cause you want her back. She seems like she wants you back too. Let me ask you this: If she keeps dating this other dude and someday marries him...or since you said about not believing in marriage, lets just say they date for the next 20 years. Are you going to be happy with staying a friend like you are now?