Ruin Your Own F*cking Thread You Bastards

[Freebase Dali]

Vegangelica's Rules For The Future World:

• Competitive sports with more violence than golf or table tennis are not allowed. This means Football (US), Football, Hockey, Basketball, Baseball, and any other sport that involves people running at high speeds. Modifications to these sports are allowed, as such:

1. US Football must be flag football. No running is allowed, as to avoid potentially running into someone, or stepping on someone's toe.
2. Football can remain mostly the same, except no running is allowed, nor any type of tackle.
3. Hockey must be done in a sand-pit. If the logistics of this cannot be worked out, then you don't want to play Hockey bad enough.
4. Basketball will not allow running, and the goals will be shortened to the height of the smallest man on the team. Not only does this promote equality, but prevents someone who may be dunking from falling a great distance to the floor. If you have seen a black man jump, you will know this is necessary.
5. Baseball will swap to a Nerf ball and bat, made of foam. And no running.
6. All other sports will strictly observe the above rules that apply. Also, in addition to these rules, there will be a general rule that, through the use of a special referee, will ensure that each team wins equal amounts of points and that everyone goes home a winner.

• Meat will absolutely not be eaten, at any time, by any one. Government will replace meat-worker jobs and meat farming positions with the governmental position known as Animal Police Task Force. These people will be financially aided by the government, and their sole function will be to interfere with any animal that attempts to eat another animal. Since animals cannot use morality for their choice of diet, humans will provide that service by proxy. If, in time, the animal kingdom overpopulates, humans shall be rocketed off to an unknown direction in space to make room for the animals here on earth.
• All members of society in every culture will be made to look identical where possible, as to discourage societal influencing factors based on attraction, preference and bias. A natural state will be de jure, which means, by law, all bodily hair or otherwise will be unobstructed from natural growth, and body shape must be genetically determined and not manipulated by the lifting of weights or dieting.
• Movies will not be allowed to make anything they depict appear different than they actually are. All filming techniques other than point-and-shoot, with home video cameras, are illegal.
• Free expression will be limited to only the expression that does not influence someone else.

Finally, all men and women are to be equal in every regard. Men shall be ordered by law to pee sitting down, like women. Technology will be focused on enabling men to have all the biological parts necessary for carrying, and giving birth. By law, every other household will enforce this technology on the male, while the female will be required to get a job at a factory that has no air conditioning.

The above are a small portion of the changes that will be made to your lives. No longer will there be a society that charts its own course. The course of society will be charted for you, and static in all regards. There will be no future apart from maintaining the present. Deviation from this will result in strict, harsh punishment.

May we all live unhappily equal lives.