The Confessional Thread

[Mr. Charlie]

Originally Posted by Rjinn

You're honoring the body of your loved ones. How is that being "left behind?"

The living are left behind, that's what I was trying to say.

[Rjinn]

Originally Posted by Mr. Charlie

The living are left behind, that's what I was trying to say.

The living aren't even there. If anything you're dishonoring a part of the person who was living by leaving them to rot on the sidewalk or throwing them in a dumpster. A funeral is a gathering of respect, not being in a box.

Originally Posted by djchameleon

Why wouldn't you? I've seen plenty of heavy set women dressed like that. I know it's a personal preference thing but that didn't stop them from dressing that style.

Personally speaking, I wouldn't look as good according to my style.

[djchameleon]

Originally Posted by Rjinn

The living aren't even there. If anything you're dishonoring a part of the person who was living by leaving them to rot on the sidewalk or throwing them in a dumpster. A funeral is a gathering of respect, not being in a box.

A funeral is mostly for the people left behind that have a hard time coping with the person that has passed and needs help grieving so they gather for it and they say it's to pay their respects but it's really just for them not for the dead.

If you want to pay respect for the dead you can do that any time you want at their grave site/cemetery.

I just don't like the whole impromptu family reunion-ness of it. Also the type of families that only have a reunion during a funeral but every other time they don't give two shits.

[Rjinn]

Originally Posted by djchameleon

A funeral is mostly for the people left behind that have a hard time coping with the person that has passed and needs help grieving so they gather for it and they say it's to pay their respects but it's really just for them not for the dead.

It doesn't matter about how the person feels, we're talking about the symbolization of a funeral. You can go in there with a machete slice open your chest and rip your heart out cry boo, that doesn't change what it is initially representing.

If you want to pay respect for the dead you can do that any time you want at their grave site/cemetery.

So how is that different from grieving at a funeral?

I just don't like the whole impromptu family reunion-ness of it. Also the type of families that only have a reunion during a funeral but every other time they don't give two shits.

If they didn't give two ****s they wouldn't be at a funeral. They'd be on a family holiday in hawaii.

Originally Posted by Mr. Charlie

First let me say people can choose to honour the dead however they want, are free to do whatever it takes to help come to terms with a person's passing. But to me personally once they're dead, they're dead, and I ain't gonna pay their corpse too much mind. Buried in a posh box, or thrown in a ditch, it's all the same to me. I wanna love, honour and respect people while they're alive, not when they're dead.

Of course people can choose how to honor the dead, that's what a funeral gives the option of doing.

[djchameleon]

Originally Posted by Rjinn

It doesn't matter about how the person feels, we're talking about the symbolization of a funeral. You can go in there with a machete slice open your chest and rip your heart out cry boo, that doesn't change what it is initially representing.

The meaning behind the symbolism is still for the people that are living not for the person that has died.

Originally Posted by Rjinn

So how is that different from grieving at a funeral?

The difference is that you are doing it on your own time and when you are ready to. Not being forced to do it at a scheduled time just because everyone can get together at that specific time.

Originally Posted by Rjinn

If they didn't give two ****s they wouldn't be at a funeral. They'd be on a family holiday in hawaii.

My point is that they only care when it's too late. They only gather when someone has passed in bad times instead of putting together a family reunion to have good memories at.

Originally Posted by Cheese

The bit the annoys the shyte out of me is how at a funeral everyone says what a great person the deceased was...ffs if the person was a c*nt don't lie about it...I'd expect nothing less at mine should anyone even show

I saw a comedian joke about that.

He said grandma was a loving wife, loving mother and racist piece of shit.

[Rjinn]

Originally Posted by djchameleon

The meaning behind the symbolism is still for the people that are living not for the person that has died.

You're really not making sense to me. Funerals have nothing to do with the person's death? You are talking about personal reactions. Who likes or who doesn't like what goes on in funerals, but that isn't the topic or point of event. Who are you grieving for? Who are you remembering? Your own feelings? Or do people go to have a party? They might, you can choose to do whatever you want, but the event took place because of the person's death. It is about the person's death. That's why it takes place.

The difference is that you are doing it on your own time and when you are ready to. Not being forced to do it at a scheduled time just because everyone can get together at that specific time.

Nobody is forcing you to go to a funeral.

My point is that they only care when it's too late. They only gather when someone has passed in bad times instead of putting together a family reunion to have good memories at.

It's also about accepting the person has passed on.

I can't imagine people who like going to funerals, I personally would hate going, but I'd go to honor them. I can cry to my family later with ice cream.

[djchameleon]

Originally Posted by Rjinn

You're really not making sense to me. Funerals have nothing to do with the person's death? You are talking about personal reactions. Who likes or who doesn't like what goes on in funerals, but that isn't the topic or point of event. Who are you grieving for? Who are you remembering? Your own feelings? Or do people go to have a party? They might, you can choose to do whatever you want, but the event took place because of the person's death. It is about the person's death. That's why it takes place.

Everything I bolded is what I'm talking about. The whole idea that all the living people that were affected by that person's death HAVE to come together at the same time. The event is more for them than it is for the person that has died.

Originally Posted by Rjinn

Nobody is forcing you to go to a funeral.

there is a social obligation where you have to go to funerals or get shunned for it. I'm speaking more about my situation here and what happened. So yes you do get forced to go to funerals or you face the backlash of people treating you a certain way for not attending.

Originally Posted by Rjinn

It's also about accepting the person has passed on.

I can't imagine people who like going to funerals, I personally would hate going, but I'd go to honor them. I can cry to my family later with ice cream.

That's what I'm saying though you don't have to accept it at that event. You can do it whenever you want instead of being forced to have to do it on a certain date instead of on your own time. I'm not talking about crying. I'm talking about the whole grieving process.