The Confessional Thread

GuD · 11-05-2014, 11:29 PM

i dun wanna get splooge in my burrito though

The Batlord · 11-05-2014, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhateverDude

i dun wanna get splooge in my burrito though

Then pull out. It's not rocket science.

GuD · 11-05-2014, 11:38 PM

The moment is lost. I ate it. It could've been magical but I ate it. Alas, there's still the bottles. But. You know. They don't fit. :\.

**Frownland** · 11-05-2014, 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhateverDude

The moment is lost. I ate it. It could've been magical but I ate it. Alas, there's still the bottles. But. You know. They don't fit. :\.

Go get some ground beef, pack it really hard and push a little hole in there. You're good to go.

EDIT: Kinda forgot you were a vegetarian. But still, you can check necrophelia and bestiality off of the list.

ladyislingering · 11-06-2014, 08:20 AM

WD almost screwed a burrito last night.

How many more of you have ever been that drunk?

~~John Wilkes Booth~~ · 11-06-2014, 09:33 AM

i got that drunk one time at work when i worked at this deli. i wasn't a drinker and i was basically experimenting so i stole a big bottle of wine (1500ml) and put it in the walk-in fridge and hit it from time to time. then i spiralled out of control and got too drunk and started dropping **** and customers could notice. then i went up to the register and this chick i knew asked me for a drink and i stole one for her but i did it too blatantly cause i was drunk and the manager asked me for a receipt and i said i don't have one. then he said go home and come back monday to talk which i took as i was getting fired so i went in the back and finished the wine (had about a half bottle left) to destroy the evidence. then i blacked out and apparently started threatening to kill the manager though i'm pretty sure i was joking (at this point i'm going off what other people told me). then the chick i stole the water for apparently tells me she likes me and i criticize her for telling me that **** while im drunk as **** cause i liked somebody else better. then they called the police/paramedics and apparently i was being a cocky bastard to them too. told them i was allergic to peanuts for some strange reason. then my dad's friend came to the rescue and picked me up and prevented me from getting arrested. then i tried to piss on my dad's recliner cause i thought it was a toilet. then i woke up the next day sick as ****.

ladyislingering · 11-06-2014, 09:42 AM

That.... that's pretty drunk.

The Batlord · 11-06-2014, 10:02 AM

I've peed in my pants a few times, but... damn.

~~John Wilkes Booth~~ · 11-06-2014, 10:16 AM

basically what happens when you dive head first into booze with no thought or experience to reference at all.

**Frownland** · 11-06-2014, 10:21 AM

Did you get fired or was your boss awesome?

11-05-2014, 11:29 PM	#2121 (permalink)
GuD Dude... What? Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 1,322	i dun wanna get splooge in my burrito though __________________ I spit bullets in my feet Every time I speak So I write instead And still people want me dead ~msc

11-05-2014, 11:38 PM	#2123 (permalink)
GuD Dude... What? Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 1,322	The moment is lost. I ate it. It could've been magical but I ate it. Alas, there's still the bottles. But. You know. They don't fit. :\. __________________ I spit bullets in my feet Every time I speak So I write instead And still people want me dead ~msc

11-06-2014, 08:20 AM	#2125 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	WD almost screwed a burrito last night. How many more of you have ever been that drunk? __________________ You and I, We were born to die.

11-06-2014, 09:42 AM	#2127 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	That.... that's pretty drunk. __________________ You and I, We were born to die.

11-06-2014, 10:21 AM	#2130 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	Did you get fired or was your boss awesome? __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

11-06-2014, 09:33 AM	#2126 (permalink)
~~John Wilkes Booth~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,235	i got that drunk one time at work when i worked at this deli. i wasn't a drinker and i was basically experimenting so i stole a big bottle of wine (1500ml) and put it in the walk-in fridge and hit it from time to time. then i spiralled out of control and got too drunk and started dropping ** and customers could notice. then i went up to the register and this chick i knew asked me for a drink and i stole one for her but i did it too blatantly cause i was drunk and the manager asked me for a receipt and i said i don't have one. then he said go home and come back monday to talk which i took as i was getting fired so i went in the back and finished the wine (had about a half bottle left) to destroy the evidence. then i blacked out and apparently started threatening to kill the manager though i'm pretty sure i was joking (at this point i'm going off what other people told me). then the chick i stole the water for apparently tells me she likes me and i criticize her for telling me that while im drunk as cause i liked somebody else better. then they called the police/paramedics and apparently i was being a cocky bastard to them too. told them i was allergic to peanuts for some strange reason. then my dad's friend came to the rescue and picked me up and prevented me from getting arrested. then i tried to piss on my dad's recliner cause i thought it was a toilet. then i woke up the next day sick as **.

11-06-2014, 10:16 AM	#2129 (permalink)
~~John Wilkes Booth~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,235	basically what happens when you dive head first into booze with no thought or experience to reference at all.