It used to be cool before they made all the big changes a few years back. Also I got banned for running shop scams.

I do actually, several. Ask Rez

Can confirm several exist.

Please marry me

you got a death wish?

Yeah I agree it used to be better before but it's still fun. You crazy cat.

I feel I'm essentially ready for death, but put off by the fact that I can't control how or when, to the extent I require....

I'm in physical pain 24/7 and bored of myself

So much relating. I'm just relating to this so much.

Right? It's not that I want to die, it's just that I'm just ... ready. If I were met with a serious illness, I'd rather just go than spend a bunch of money trying to keep myself alive on a plane of existence I never signed up for in the first place. It's not that life is bad or anything, the world just isn't that interesting anymore. Maybe I just need a therapeutic walk through a historic town or something, or to be closer to nature for a day. Everything outside of my natural habitat is monotonous; people have become somewhat faceless to me because nothing makes any of them stand out. I am essentially bored with the human race, bored with the idea that I matter on a minuscule level to some of these jokers.

I'm not really sure how to explain it.

That's a sad way to feel. :( In certain philosophies including Buddhism and Taoism, preparing the mind for death, far from diminishing one's love of life, propogates a greater zest for life because by preparaing for death all mental baggage, be it apathy, fear, worry, whatever, is discarded. Not suggesting that's how you should feel, just offering a different perspective that may or may not help.

From what you say, it seems you've lost your sense of wonder and curiosity for life, but that doesn't mean they're gone forever. Life's a ride. We all get down sometimes. But tomorrow is a new day. We can all change when we genuinely want to. So chin up. :)