I hate yuppies so much.

I also hate one of my supervisors so much that I'm thinking up a plan to get him fired.

I also want his job because I could do it better.

It must be the hair that makes people think you're a nice person in real life. ;)

I play music with my eyes closed so I had an excuse go keep playing when people come in the room.

An alternate would be to stare at them intently as soon as they walk in the room. If some guy was playing free jazz and meaning muggin' me at the same time I'd probably leave.

Do it. You or him, who's it gonna be? You're better at the job than he is. Maybe you make some more money. What's stopping you? Cut the bish out!


As for my confession,

I don't think I've had sex completely sober since high school.

I almost always have sex sober because my gf ends up passing out before we ever have sex.

I need to get laid.

I'm seriously out of practice, which I'm afraid will be awkward when my opportunity arrives in a few days.

Pfffttttt.


It's like riding a bike. And equally dangerous while drunk.

Go to a club or a bar and pickup a sleezy girl.