Originally Posted by Jonny Redshirt
(Post 939376)
Well, today's my 21st birthday and I'm already a bit tipsy so I might regret doing this later, but oh well. I know I'm new here and I doubt anyone really cares, but I'm going to go ahead and spill my guts because I have nobody else to talk to.
A survey of my love life: I started dating my first girlfriend when I was 16. I'd known her since I was 10, and she was closest friend in the world. We loved each other and we'd done eve3rything together, and I trusted her more than anybody. So naturally, she cheated on me, multiple times with multiple partners, and then she'd come home and brag to me about it, because apparently being honest made it ok and she saw no reason for me to be upset. After a few months, I finally got the stones to break up with her. You know what my friends told me? They told me it was MY FAULT and that I should've known better than to date a girl like her, so I deserved to be cheated on.
I dated a couple of girls after her, one of whom also cheated on me after only seven weeks into the relationship, but nothing incredibly major. Then I met a girl, Karen. I was 17 and she was 22, just out of college. We started dating and fell madly in love. After we'd been dating for a year, we talked about getting married. She said she never wanted to be with anybody else and that she loved me more than anything, and I felt the same way. Then she left. I have no idea why. She left in January of 2009, and she couldn't give me a reason. I never got any closure - one day I was madly in love with the girl of my dreams, the next day...well, I still was, but she wasn't there anymore. She just told me it was over and split. All I know is that she started seeing somebody else somewhere around July of 2009. When somebody showed me the picture of them together, just a few months ago, I wanted to kill myself. I almost did - I sent her my suicide note in the form of an email. While I managed to survive my suicide attempt, afterwards I discovered her response, which was "You need to leave me alone. I'm in a very serious relationship with the love of my life and can't deal with stuff like this." Well, I'm very f***ing sorry to be such an inconvenience when I contact you for the first time since we broke up, after over a year.
And ever since she left, everything's been downhill for me. My grades have gone down the toilet in classes I should be passing easily. I don't care about doing anything because nobody's around to care. My friends are jerks who I'll never get close to and my reltionships have all just crumbled. I don't blame her for my failings - I blame myself for my pathetic inability to get over a relationship almost two years dead. I have no motivation because who gives a crap what I succeed at or don't succeed at? I have nobody to talk to and I'm so lonely I don't know how much longer I can take it.
I don't mean to whine - to quote...somebody who I can't think of right now, I know my problems are meaningless, but that doesn't make them go away. And so, here I am drinking alone on my 21st birthday.
Sorry for bothering you all.
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