The Confessional Thread

[djchameleon]

Originally Posted by Rjinn

It doesn't matter about how the person feels, we're talking about the symbolization of a funeral. You can go in there with a machete slice open your chest and rip your heart out cry boo, that doesn't change what it is initially representing.

The meaning behind the symbolism is still for the people that are living not for the person that has died.

Originally Posted by Rjinn

So how is that different from grieving at a funeral?

The difference is that you are doing it on your own time and when you are ready to. Not being forced to do it at a scheduled time just because everyone can get together at that specific time.

Originally Posted by Rjinn

If they didn't give two ****s they wouldn't be at a funeral. They'd be on a family holiday in hawaii.

My point is that they only care when it's too late. They only gather when someone has passed in bad times instead of putting together a family reunion to have good memories at.

Originally Posted by Cheese

The bit the annoys the shyte out of me is how at a funeral everyone says what a great person the deceased was...ffs if the person was a c*nt don't lie about it...I'd expect nothing less at mine should anyone even show

I saw a comedian joke about that.

He said grandma was a loving wife, loving mother and racist piece of shit.

[Mr. Charlie]

Originally Posted by Cheese

The bit the annoys the shyte out of me is how at a funeral everyone says what a great person the deceased was...ffs if the person was a c*nt don't lie about it...I'd expect nothing less at mine should anyone even show

Haha. I hear ya. Everyone loves the dead because they can no longer be c**ts.

[Rjinn]

Originally Posted by djchameleon

The meaning behind the symbolism is still for the people that are living not for the person that has died.

You're really not making sense to me. Funerals have nothing to do with the person's death? You are talking about personal reactions. Who likes or who doesn't like what goes on in funerals, but that isn't the topic or point of event. Who are you grieving for? Who are you remembering? Your own feelings? Or do people go to have a party? They might, you can choose to do whatever you want, but the event took place because of the person's death. It is about the person's death. That's why it takes place.

The difference is that you are doing it on your own time and when you are ready to. Not being forced to do it at a scheduled time just because everyone can get together at that specific time.

Nobody is forcing you to go to a funeral.

My point is that they only care when it's too late. They only gather when someone has passed in bad times instead of putting together a family reunion to have good memories at.

It's also about accepting the person has passed on.

I can't imagine people who like going to funerals, I personally would hate going, but I'd go to honor them. I can cry to my family later with ice cream.

[djchameleon]

Originally Posted by Rjinn

You're really not making sense to me. Funerals have nothing to do with the person's death? You are talking about personal reactions. Who likes or who doesn't like what goes on in funerals, but that isn't the topic or point of event. Who are you grieving for? Who are you remembering? Your own feelings? Or do people go to have a party? They might, you can choose to do whatever you want, but the event took place because of the person's death. It is about the person's death. That's why it takes place.

Everything I bolded is what I'm talking about. The whole idea that all the living people that were affected by that person's death HAVE to come together at the same time. The event is more for them than it is for the person that has died.

Originally Posted by Rjinn

Nobody is forcing you to go to a funeral.

there is a social obligation where you have to go to funerals or get shunned for it. I'm speaking more about my situation here and what happened. So yes you do get forced to go to funerals or you face the backlash of people treating you a certain way for not attending.

Originally Posted by Rjinn

It's also about accepting the person has passed on.

I can't imagine people who like going to funerals, I personally would hate going, but I'd go to honor them. I can cry to my family later with ice cream.

That's what I'm saying though you don't have to accept it at that event. You can do it whenever you want instead of being forced to have to do it on a certain date instead of on your own time. I'm not talking about crying. I'm talking about the whole grieving process.

[Rjinn]

Originally Posted by djchameleon

Everything I bolded is what I'm talking about. The whole idea that all the living people that were affected by that person's death HAVE to come together at the same time. The event is more for them than it is for the person that has died.

Again, you're judging by the people. If all that means to you is crowds you don't want to be a part of then yes you're wasting your time. The amount of people if anything shows a greater respect to the person who has died, and you get to be a part of that. It's just a strong traditional way.

there is a social obligation where you have to go to funerals or get shunned for it. I'm speaking more about my situation here and what happened. So yes you do get forced to go to funerals or you face the backlash of people treating you a certain way for not attending.

Then it's the people you're hanging around with.

That's what I'm saying though you don't have to accept it at that event. You can do it whenever you want instead of being forced to have to do it on a certain date instead of on your own time. I'm not talking about crying. I'm talking about the whole grieving process.

I'm not saying you do either. My initial point is funerals are a place you can pay your respects. Not it's the only time and the only way ever you can pay your respects.

[Cuthbert]

DJ agree w/ you on being forced and can relate. Suppose technically you're not being tied up and dragged there but if your family is going to disown you/give you a bollocking there is not really a choice is there. Not a half decent one anyway. Either attend or the rest of your family thinks you're a wanker and will more than likely confront you.

[djchameleon]

Originally Posted by Rjinn

Again, you're judging by the people. If all that means to you is crowds you don't want to be a part of then yes you're wasting your time. The amount of people if anything shows a greater respect to the person who has died, and you get to be a part of that. It's just a strong traditional way.

I would rather just not though and pay my respects in my own way. I feel like people show up to these things out of a sense of moral obligation more than anything. If they don't show up then they get raked over the coals. "Why weren't you are such and suchs funeral?"

You show up more for the people that will see that you showed up rather than for the person that passed away.

[Rjinn]

Originally Posted by djchameleon

I would rather just not though and pay my respects in my own way. I feel like people show up to these things out of a sense of moral obligation more than anything. If they don't show up then they get raked over the coals. "Why weren't you are such and suchs funeral?"

You show up more for the people that will see that you showed up rather than for the person that passed away.

Ok, that's not untrue, I can't speak for everybody, just explaining the traditional side of it.

[djchameleon]

Originally Posted by Rjinn

Ok, that's not untrue, I can't speak for everybody, just explaining the traditional side of it.

Yeah. Also should have mentioned this is mostly from my experience and other people may have different experiences.

[Sansa Stark]

I only like things that are complicated and difficult, I gain no sense of... I guess purpose, when things are easy and I don't have to struggle with it. I think it might be my controlling nature, if I strong arm the situation then I am the one who wins. If it's easy it's boring to me, and I don't think I hate anything more than being bored. I need constant stimulation.