should I stay or should I go? (house, member, quote)

Anarchy doll · 03-11-2005, 01:31 PM

please consider carefully the reasons before helping me out with this...this is really serious....
pro's of us together-resonably good sex
-he loves me and I love him
-he married me
-he is the responsible one in the relationship when it comes to paying bills
-lots of fun to be with

con's of us together-I was a drug addict to crack and cough syrup after I met him
-I was messed(but gave up my baby to be back with him)
-I overdosed and died on his methadone(my fault but it happened)
-he is clean now but I am REALLY afraid that he might relapse very easily
-he is obsessive compulsive collector, really bugs me cuz it is almost ridiculous the **** he keeps
-can be very childish sometimes
-is a schitzophrenic, not harmful, but it is a pain in the ass having to make sure he don't hurt himself on the times he does schitz out
-always have to remind him to take his meds
-never helps with hardly ANY housework

so anyway, I lived with the guy for 2 years, and married him, but we are seperated for a short time right now.....I wanna see what you guys think, so I can really make the right decision once I get an idea.....

ArtistInTheAmbulance · 03-11-2005, 01:54 PM

Im not gonna vote on the poll, that just seems to me like Im making the decision. And PLEASE I beg of you dont rely on this poll to make your decision! That wouldnt be the best of ideas...

But anyway, if it was me, I'd stay.
To be honest, seeing as youre seperated for the time being, you might be feeling a bit more bitter towards him (even if you dont realize it). So there's gonna be more con's than pro's really.. The pro's youve got are important, theyre needed in a good relationship and are hard to come by. Most of the con's you could work on, but you'd obviously need his help with that, and if he doesnt want to help then it's not much good trying.
And all relationships need work, theyre never easy. No matter what... Which Im sure you know anyway, tis just one of those lovely facts of life..

Hmmm right Im running out of what I was gonna say now, I had loads more points than that to bring up, damn.. Anyways, all I can say is don't stay together ONLY for the kids. I hate it when parents do that, its one of the stupidest things they can do ever. Mine did, and all they did was argue for years and made everyone's life a living hell. It was the worst decision ever. Please dont do that, if the parents really can't get along then don't put the kid through the torture of listening to them argue all the time..

Right, I really am done now. Sorry Im no help at all, I did have more things to say, honest!

Anarchy doll · 03-11-2005, 01:56 PM

that is just what I am worried about, if things don't work out after we get moved in together again...then I have put my kids throught hell!

ArtistInTheAmbulance · 03-11-2005, 02:00 PM

If things dont work out after you've both tried your best, then there's not much mroe you can do. Just keep working at it, if it was me then I'd have moving out as my very last option... But hey, I have no way of knowing what you guys are like together, so I cant say at all really. Sorry, I try!!

Anarchy doll · 03-11-2005, 02:05 PM

thanx anyway~ I will wait a month till the pol closes and then weigh my options for myself...remember, this is for research purposes only...

Fenixpunk · 03-11-2005, 02:09 PM

sounds to me like youve already pretty much made up your mind. The pros you listed arent something that you have control over, and are very important in a relationship just as Artist said, and the cons look like they can be solved (or at least helped) with a little professional help (meetings, counseling, etc.). All you need to really ask yourself is if the energy you spend worth it (if its yes, then theres your answer youre looking for), and how much energy is he willing to give (you shouldnt have the world on your shoulders alone, thats why they call them "partners")

Anarchy doll · 03-11-2005, 02:21 PM

yes, I do worry about if it is a waste of energy....if I try really hard and he don't change or goes back to theway he used to be, then it is all for nothing...

Yellow Card · 03-11-2005, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anarchy doll

-he loves me and I love him

Stay with him, no questions asked. The rest is irrelevant if that is in fact true.

03-12-2005, 07:10 AM

i reckon if ure both totally committed to making it work then it can happen but if ure not committed it wont work.....

Sneer · 03-12-2005, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anarchy doll

-can be very childish sometimes

i wonder why?! ok, sorry to be the party pooper..i really am, but please, enough of this- im seriously starting to question your sanity!!!!!

View Poll Results: shoul I stay or should I go?
have no contact and move on.....	2	50.00%
work towards our goal of being together again with the baby...	2	50.00%
Voters: 4. You may not vote on this poll

03-11-2005, 01:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
Anarchy doll punk rock mommy Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in my mind Posts: 660	should I stay or should I go? please consider carefully the reasons before helping me out with this...this is really serious.... pro's of us together-resonably good sex -he loves me and I love him -he married me -he is the responsible one in the relationship when it comes to paying bills -lots of fun to be with con's of us together-I was a drug addict to crack and cough syrup after I met him -I was messed(but gave up my baby to be back with him) -I overdosed and died on his methadone(my fault but it happened) -he is clean now but I am REALLY afraid that he might relapse very easily -he is obsessive compulsive collector, really bugs me cuz it is almost ridiculous the **** he keeps -can be very childish sometimes -is a schitzophrenic, not harmful, but it is a pain in the ass having to make sure he don't hurt himself on the times he does schitz out -always have to remind him to take his meds -never helps with hardly ANY housework so anyway, I lived with the guy for 2 years, and married him, but we are seperated for a short time right now.....I wanna see what you guys think, so I can really make the right decision once I get an idea.....

03-11-2005, 01:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
ArtistInTheAmbulance enchanted. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: cornwailles, angleterre. Posts: 2,537	Im not gonna vote on the poll, that just seems to me like Im making the decision. And PLEASE I beg of you dont rely on this poll to make your decision! That wouldnt be the best of ideas... But anyway, if it was me, I'd stay. To be honest, seeing as youre seperated for the time being, you might be feeling a bit more bitter towards him (even if you dont realize it). So there's gonna be more con's than pro's really.. The pro's youve got are important, theyre needed in a good relationship and are hard to come by. Most of the con's you could work on, but you'd obviously need his help with that, and if he doesnt want to help then it's not much good trying. And all relationships need work, theyre never easy. No matter what... Which Im sure you know anyway, tis just one of those lovely facts of life.. Hmmm right Im running out of what I was gonna say now, I had loads more points than that to bring up, damn.. Anyways, all I can say is don't stay together ONLY for the kids. I hate it when parents do that, its one of the stupidest things they can do ever. Mine did, and all they did was argue for years and made everyone's life a living hell. It was the worst decision ever. Please dont do that, if the parents really can't get along then don't put the kid through the torture of listening to them argue all the time.. Right, I really am done now. Sorry Im no help at all, I did have more things to say, honest! __________________ shake your wings like theyre laced with sound!

03-11-2005, 02:00 PM	#4 (permalink)
ArtistInTheAmbulance enchanted. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: cornwailles, angleterre. Posts: 2,537	If things dont work out after you've both tried your best, then there's not much mroe you can do. Just keep working at it, if it was me then I'd have moving out as my very last option... But hey, I have no way of knowing what you guys are like together, so I cant say at all really. Sorry, I try!! __________________ shake your wings like theyre laced with sound!

03-11-2005, 02:09 PM	#6 (permalink)
Fenixpunk The Erroneous Hoodlum Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: West Side Phoenix Posts: 2,057	sounds to me like youve already pretty much made up your mind. The pros you listed arent something that you have control over, and are very important in a relationship just as Artist said, and the cons look like they can be solved (or at least helped) with a little professional help (meetings, counseling, etc.). All you need to really ask yourself is if the energy you spend worth it (if its yes, then theres your answer youre looking for), and how much energy is he willing to give (you shouldnt have the world on your shoulders alone, thats why they call them "partners") __________________ This message has been approved by Shawn Erroneous - The Declaimed

03-11-2005, 01:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
Anarchy doll punk rock mommy Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in my mind Posts: 660	that is just what I am worried about, if things don't work out after we get moved in together again...then I have put my kids throught hell!

03-11-2005, 02:05 PM	#5 (permalink)
Anarchy doll punk rock mommy Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in my mind Posts: 660	thanx anyway~ I will wait a month till the pol closes and then weigh my options for myself...remember, this is for research purposes only...

03-11-2005, 02:21 PM	#7 (permalink)
Anarchy doll punk rock mommy Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in my mind Posts: 660	yes, I do worry about if it is a waste of energy....if I try really hard and he don't change or goes back to theway he used to be, then it is all for nothing...

03-12-2005, 07:10 AM	#9 (permalink)
pastor of muppets Guest Posts: n/a	i reckon if ure both totally committed to making it work then it can happen but if ure not committed it wont work.....