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View Poll Results: Are you satisfied with your gender?
Yes 84 69.42%
No 14 11.57%
Not sure 23 19.01%
Voters: 121. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-05-2010, 07:41 PM   #241 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by FaSho View Post
OH yeah that's soooooooo degrading towards women.

Why would someone telling you they find you attractive make you angry?
They're not telling you they find you attractive, they're not coming up to you and saying, "Oh hey, I just wanted to tell you that you're really pretty." Most of the time the wolf-whistles are dehumanising and just pointing out that there is a hot piece of meat walking by. I say this because most of the wolf-whistles I've heard are often accompanied by the guys staring at your ass/boobs or throwing in a few degrading comments which signify that they want to fuck you. It would be different if they whistled and smiled at you nicely and told you that they think you are attractive... but most of the time the whistling is followed by uncomfortable gawking at certain body parts and rude comments.

I've been whistled at before and it always makes me feel so uncomfortable, like I'm just a piece of meat walking past that they all want to fuck.
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Old 07-05-2010, 07:46 PM   #242 (permalink)
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Plus they horn a lot. Like why the fuck would anyone do this.
And usually if they want to scream out something, it's pretty degrading.

Like that other day someone told my friend as she was walking by "I want you to suck my **** while looking at your eyes" ... and he said it, like it was supposed to be something romantic.
Well the guys get hit on a lot also. A LOT of closeted cab drivers!
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Old 07-05-2010, 07:51 PM   #243 (permalink)
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.
Don't get me wrong, I completley understand that logic. Especially when 'degrading comments' are involved. As ignorant as this may sound, and I'm sure there's people who don't agree with me, but in my opinion, if someone says something positive about you/your body, even if it's as brash as "wow you have nice boobs", you may find it awkward and possibly even offensive, but in the back of your head there's a sense of self-worth because even as degrading as it is, someone is still complimenting you, and telling you you look good.
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Old 07-05-2010, 07:53 PM   #244 (permalink)
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Don't get me wrong, I completley understand that logic. Especially when 'degrading comments' are involved. As ignorant as this may sound, and I'm sure there's people who don't agree with me, but in my opinion, if someone says something positive about you/your body, even if it's as brash as "wow you have nice boobs", you may find it awkward and possibly even offensive, but in the back of your head there's a sense of self-worth because even as degrading as it is, someone is still complimenting you, and telling you you look good.
True. And I find a lot of women hypocrite when they say that they hate hearing these comments. But I, myself, hate being any kind of attention... it just makes me feel vulnerable. So for people like me, I find it nightmarish, to not be able to just walk.
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Old 07-05-2010, 07:55 PM   #245 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by FaSho View Post
Don't get me wrong, I completley understand that logic. Especially when 'degrading comments' are involved. As ignorant as this may sound, and I'm sure there's people who don't agree with me, but in my opinion, if someone says something positive about you/your body, even if it's as brash as "wow you have nice boobs", you may find it awkward and possibly even offensive, but in the back of your head there's a sense of self-worth because even as degrading as it is, someone is still complimenting you, and telling you you look good.
But it's not even as nice as "wow you have nice boobs." It's more like "I want to fuck you and you have no choice in the matter." I guess on some level it could be considered a compliment but most of the time being treated as a piece of meat or a mere sexual object isn't pleasant. It's often hard for guys to understand this but when women are constantly objectified in many situations for their whole life, and when women are trying to break free of this sexual objectification and be seen as a person, it's not something that you want to hear reinforced.

When I get whistled at I never ever feel complimented or proud of my body. I always feel awkward and embarrassed, and afraid that they're going to come up to me and try something.

It's also scary because a lot of rape scenarios often begin with guys whistling or yelling out things that imply the woman is a piece of meat. And rape is still a pressing issue if you are a woman, more so than if you are a man. So it's not something as a girl you want to hear.

EDIT: Like NND said, it makes you feel vulnerable...
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Old 07-05-2010, 09:49 PM   #246 (permalink)
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I think you just like the idea of being as natural as possible and that's fine but don't give so much flack to people who'd rather not feel like cavemen.

So why is it so hard to accept that yes some women like to feel better about themselves in the same way men do?

You're trying to guilt trip women into making a personal choice which you feel leads to persecution as in you're encouraging them to be persecuted, if I didn't know any better I'd say you just don't want to be alone. But that's a price that comes with doing something different, deal with it.

If I recall correctly, some women here clearly say that they feel it's their choice and they like doing it and you're telling them that they're enslaving themselves and I find that insulting and I'm sure they do too.
Boo boo, I do not oppose people changing their bodies as they wish. What I oppose is a culture that teaches women (and men) to:

(1) feel disgusted by women's body hair, and
(2) cave into such a culture rather than oppose a pervasive and extremely strong social norm that women's bodies are not acceptable as they are naturally.

There is an important distinction between a woman choosing to shave off her body hair and a woman choosing a get a new hair-do or a tattoo. All these actions are "unnatural." However, in the case of body shaving, her body hair is seen as disgusting and unattractive, thanks to a huge advertising campaign started in the U.S. around 1915 (and later spread to Europe and Australia), and so she shaves her legs and arms, caving into or not questioning the pressure. In the second case, her regular head hair and her skin are seen as perfectly fine and acceptable, but she decides to do something for positive reasons to accentuate her beauty, she feels.

I want all people, both girls and boys/men and women, to feel good about their natural bodies, such that their choices they make are based on their own opinions, not due to a culture that tells them their body hair is horrid. I oppose, rather than side with, the bullies and advertising companies that tell women they aren't okay as they are. I also oppose the people who ridicule girls and women who don't shave, or the employers who FIRE women because they have their body hair (and this has happened, showing how non-trivial the body hair issue is). Telling people to change their bodies or accept such bullying, as you do, is something I will never do.

Studies have shown that when girls start shaving (typically at age 14 - 16, when they become sexually mature and develop more body hair), they often do this because they feel "my hair is ugly," and "it is the thing women need to do," and because of pressure by family members.

When women reach college-age, their reasons they give for their shaving tend to shift to a feeling that it is feminine and sexually attractive...but when asked why *other* women shave, they say it is mostly due to social pressure. So, researchers have concluded that women often fail to see or acknowledge the pressure that started and maintains their own personal shaving.

The women who have written in this thread that they shave because they like the feeling of being silky, attractive, etc., are responding exactly like the women in the studies. They may genuinely feel these positive feelings about shaving now, but we don't know if that was why they STARTED shaving. I feel the best test of their deepest reasons for shaving would be for them to assess how they react to *not* shaving.

One researcher writes:

Quote:
Tiggemann and Lewis (2004) "Attitudes Toward Women's Body Hair: Relationship with Disgust Sensitivity," Psychology of Women's Quarterly, 28, 381-387.

Based on the present set of results, we would contend that although women say they shave their legs and underarms for femininity/attractiveness reasons, the very universality of this behavior belies this.

If women were able to give more explicit recognition to the normative pressures they are subject to, the problem of unwanted hair could be located more squarely at the societal level, rather than as a problem with the individual woman's body.

Researchers have pointed out that linking shaving to feeling feminine and attractive is the major sales pitch of advertising, and women appear to have internatized this message. This is an entirely culturally constructed connection, because biologically body hair is a signal of women's sexual maturity.

It is sad that a woman's attitude toward her own body should be linked to feelings of disgust.
I feel it is an appalling and extremely degrading thing for people/culture to tell girls and women that their body hair is ugly and they need to look sexy, so they should shave it off. I'll answer some of your other questions/comments (such as about shaving heads ) in a later post!

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I've seen plenty of women say that men with hairy backs are 'disgusting'
So it works both ways.
This is true and sad, Urban, that men sometimes also get targeted due to their body hair. However, the majority of men's body hair is viewed as fine or even desirable, while almost *all* women are viewed as disgusting when they don't shave.

Rather than saying, "Both women and men can be seen as disgusting due to their body hair, so they should just shave or deal with people's nastiness," I prefer to stand up to the people who are being cruel. For example, if you send a child to school and schoolmates bully him, do you tell your child to change so the bullying stops, or do you work to stop the culture of bullying?
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Old 07-05-2010, 10:00 PM   #247 (permalink)
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^ I'm not going to bully a woman who is hairy, I'm just not going to want to be too intimate with her.
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Old 07-05-2010, 11:35 PM   #248 (permalink)
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Yeah, same here. I don't think a woman is without exception gonna become a laughing stock if she chooses not to shave her legs at least if she's among an accepting community and neo hippie culture is everywhere so surely you could find a place where monkey legs are kosher.

I'm not gonna be mean to you if you have hair legs but I'd be way too weirded out and certainly don't find it sexually attractive, a grand achievement considering the wide range of things I'm sexually attracted to.
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Old 07-05-2010, 11:43 PM   #249 (permalink)
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Yeah, same here. I don't think a woman is without exception gonna become a laughing stock if she chooses not to shave her legs at least if she's among an accepting community and neo hippie culture is everywhere so surely you could find a place where monkey legs are kosher.

I'm not gonna be mean to you if you have hair legs but I'd be way too weirded out and certainly don't find it sexually attractive, a grand achievement considering the wide range of things I'm sexually attracted to.
Bahaha I'd laugh at any girl with hairy legs. I'm a judgmental bitch though.
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Old 07-05-2010, 11:56 PM   #250 (permalink)
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They're not telling you they find you attractive, they're not coming up to you and saying, "Oh hey, I just wanted to tell you that you're really pretty." Most of the time the wolf-whistles are dehumanising and just pointing out that there is a hot piece of meat walking by. I say this because most of the wolf-whistles I've heard are often accompanied by the guys staring at your ass/boobs or throwing in a few degrading comments which signify that they want to fuck you. It would be different if they whistled and smiled at you nicely and told you that they think you are attractive... but most of the time the whistling is followed by uncomfortable gawking at certain body parts and rude comments.

I've been whistled at before and it always makes me feel so uncomfortable, like I'm just a piece of meat walking past that they all want to fuck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FaSho View Post
Don't get me wrong, I completley understand that logic. Especially when 'degrading comments' are involved. As ignorant as this may sound, and I'm sure there's people who don't agree with me, but in my opinion, if someone says something positive about you/your body, even if it's as brash as "wow you have nice boobs", you may find it awkward and possibly even offensive, but in the back of your head there's a sense of self-worth because even as degrading as it is, someone is still complimenting you, and telling you you look good.
There are definitely at least some women who will take it as a compliment. But I'm happy that I'm a guy and don't have to deal with the wolf-whistling, ogling and objectification in general... I'm happy I can walk around unheeded.
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