My Bro: Corr Blimey.
Me: (cockney accent) Blimey guvnor!!
Bro: Hey, i'm not English!!

I had to explain who Jimi Hendrix was :crazy:

!!!
 

It was dark.. rainy... and a car was tailgating me! I didn't realize it was a cop - so i changed lanes to the slow lane... he followed.. I changed back to the fast lane... he followed... I changed again back to slow lane in hopes the car would pass... He followed and pulled me over... I asked the cop why I was getting pulled over and he said "excessive lane changes"??? WTF!

OT- I got pulled over once because the cop thought I was drunk. I wasn't. I'm just a horrible driver.

that's hilarious that you signed up here just to tell us that. and that's pretty damn funny.

I came back here because i remembered somebody who would say the absolute most unintelligent things we've ever heard.


ok so we're doing a stupid group thing where we have to list the most useful things to have with you if you were lost on the moon. there was a bunch of weird tools on the list and we had to list in order which ones would be the most important things to have with you.

now this stupid girl keeps saying "we need matches as number one. because that's what you'd need to cook food."
Me: you can't light matches on the moon.
Her: why not?
Me: because you need oxygen to make fire.
Her: so?
Me: there is no oxygen on the moon. you cant light your matches.
Her: oh, ok..... well then we should put flares as number one.


only like a minute after that dreadful conversation, she gets to the bottled water.

Her: oh, next we need bottled water, you need water to survive.
Me: how the hell would you drink it?
Her: You just open up your helmet a little bit and stick your mouth up to it.
Me: You would implode.
Her: Just open it a little little bit, so nothing happens.



She's the type of person who would say something like "You know what? They should invent a camera, that can be used as a phone!"

some stupid kid on the bus: "you know what KKK stands for? Krispy Kreme!"

Actually, as soon as you open the bottle it would explode. The equilibrium pressure for water vapor is severely under the little bit that liquid water needs not to evaporate. The contents would spontaneously evaporate, blowing the bottle to pieces.

But yes, you would EXplode too.

One of my friends-
"China is the biggest city"...he was serious about it.

I had to explain to my friends(not very long ago) who Jimi Hendrix and The Beatles were and before you even know it, they are back listening to linkin park and nickelback the very next day.(They are all nice ppl...just that this part alone sux :()

God at my school there are some fairly retarted people....

I was told I couldnt be Buddhist because I wasn't black......


The same person thought that the English and Spanish were on the same side in the Spanish Armarda.....

But I guess every class has one idiot!