CanwllCorfe

Not all guys are perverted sillyhead! It's actually a funny coincidence because I was introduced to my friend Heather's long, long time friend Art (Arthur). He was in a relationship for only 3 weeks but had to call it quits because the girl wanted sex too much.

[Tangent]It's unfortunate because it seems like what men and women are "supposed to be" in society is thrown at us all the time. I look at the women's magazines while I'm waiting in line and it looks like a guide to try and be a perfect girl.. the men's magazine usually has a half naked woman and articles about eating, politics, music, football, or something else altogether. It's just how it is. I'm not the conventional male.. which is why I struggled a lot in high school with people thinking I was ***. Why? Because I defied the stereotypes set in the media as what the typified male is supposed to be like. I'm sure if I was the quintessential sex hungry, sport loving, beer drinking, male and had unconcern for what I looked like.. then I would have been insanely popular. While women deal with anorexia and confidence issues because it's their "job" to be skinny, beautiful, and have the ability to please a man. It's a sad shame.[/Tangent]

The guy you talked to seems to be doing his job perfectly. As others have said, it's good he was up front with you or else you may have had to find out later. Of course, I'm not saying guys are like this. We're deep, multifaceted, and are just as capable at expressing emotion as women. Hey, wait that's for ***s.

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Your eyes were never yet let in to see the majesty and riches of the mind, but dwell in darkness; for your God is blind.

Scarlett O'Hara

How come? Why couldn't I be with someone "nerdy" so to speak?

I was asking the forum their opinion and I've had some brillant feedback, why would this potentially give me or another girl a bad rap? One thread doesn't define me either, I'm pretty sure most people here have opinions of me by now.

This has been what I've been thinking, there is a lot of pressure on women to be perfect. Men have expectations but not as much. I think this entire thread has been an interesting debate, it's obviously quite relevant.

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midnight rain

Well, most people that I have heard say "looks don't matter" are the same ones that are caught with all the macho guys.

You stereotyped a whole gender in your original post. Whether intentional or not, it's bound to irk some of the already male-majority on almost any forum.

Guybrush

The bolded sentence is pretty spot on The rest is rubbish, though. Our biology does not worry about the collective human genome and so on. That's group selection which is really an outdated idea in modern biology.

The reason why one sex wants to have lots of sex while the other gets to be picky has to do with gametes, sperm and eggs. Sperm are tiny things, cheap to produce and men make millions .. millions! Eggs are much larger and they're generally available one or a few at a time. That means that already in the uterus, there's a situation where countless sperm compete against eachother while the eggs get to be selective about who they'll "accept" (quite a few species have adaptations that let sperm battle it out between themselves).

Go up a level to the male and female individuals, you'll see "successful" sex with a resulting pregnancy is quite cheap for the male. There's the price of the sperm which is negligible and then effort spent impregnating the female. Any energy spent on reproduction after that is more or less optional. For the female however, they'll be stuck with a fetus which takes a lot of energy and also makes the mother less able / more vulnerable. Once it's born, she will have to feed it and spend energy doing other things to keep it alive. If it dies, she'll have wasted a lot of resources.

In essence, there are two selfish strategies. For a male, sex is cheap and so it can make sense to have as much sex as possible without being very picky. For women, however, sex is potentially extremely costly and so they should be picky about who they do it with. The result is a situation where men compete for sex with women who get to be selective.


That's the jist of it. Of course it doesn't tell the whole story as women as selectors get a lot of power over our evolution and would of course try and select for men who are loyal and help raise the child/children. That sexual selection will of course lead to men who do not behave as selfishly as one might expect from what I wrote above, but it still shapes us to some degree. The selfish male strategy is still present at some level.

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Something Completely Different

Mojo

Pretty much. Im forever hearing women who seem to genuinely generalise the entire male species in this way. They do this because they are sick and tired of meeting too many men who just want to fuck them and have no other, even remote, interest in them whatsoever. But then what do they do to comfort themselves? They go to a club, find one of these guys and sleep with them.

I feel sorry for certain girls who don't want any part of this, who make the decision to seek someone with whom they are compatible with and feel an emotional connection to and yet still find themselves exclusively meeting these kind of men. I dont feel sorry for any girl who makes the same mistakes over and over again and then wonders why they get treated in such a way.

I don't do one night stands. I find promiscuity a turn off and whether people disagree with me on this point or not does not interest me in the slightest. But speaking on behalf of my gender, there are guys who look for connection and commitment just as much, if not more than like minded women but you just need to open your eyes and most important stop sleeping with bastards if you're gonna regret it the next morning.

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Last.FM | Echoes and Dust

midnight rain

These are often times the same women who try to find a 'good guy' at a bar or club. I mean, what do they expect?

Mojo

You can meet a good guy at a club. Not everyone there is looking to get wasted and hook up with anyone he can find. Some of us are just there to get wasted. Its maybe not the best strategy for finding someone for anything other than drunken sex though I agree.

It just seems to me that if you pair a drunk girl looking for sex with a drunk guy looking for sex in a club then fine, everyones happy. Its when girls who aren't looking for sex meet a guy in a club that is looking sex, get drunk or get lonely and end up going to his place and letting him fuck them that the problems start for me. Because girls have told me about nights just like this several times and then somehow manage to rationalise complaining about how the guy only wanted one thing and start to wonder how they never find the right type.

I know all girls don't do this, believe me i'm not gonna start to generalise an entire gender but it happens and it amazes me. It just seems to me that the blame is always made out to be guys because we only want one thing and can't keep it in our pants.

Also, ive realised that this post and my previous post do seem to siuggest that i'm aiming these views directly at Vanilla. I'm not. I don't know the girl well enough to make these kind of assumptions.

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Last.FM | Echoes and Dust

Scarlett O'Hara

Did you not see my quotation marks? I was quoting someone else generalising, so therefore, I am not generalising.

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Scarlett O'Hara

The bold exactly represents my situation. I would never meet a guy in a club. I think through natural means such as through university might give me a chance to meet someone mature or at least not a sex fiend. But nevertheless, I was proved wrong, thus, the point of this thread.

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jackhammer

In all seriousness, anytime you need to chat, I'm around. Just for all you gossip mongerers: it's not a feeble attempt at a chat up line either. Vanilla is a friend and a good one at that.

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