VEGANGELICA

At least glass is vegan.

Awww. So sweet!

I practice "catch and release" of flies myself. It drives my mother-in-law nuts, because as soon as she whips out a swatter, I've got out a clear glass and a piece of paper and soon have that live fly safely out-of-doors. Saving flies (or spiders) is a sure way to annoy those who disagree with veganism. Heh heh. Heh.

In wintertime I face more of a conundrum, though, concerning flies. In winter any fly in the house always hovers around the window, lured toward the sunlight, wanting to fly out toward the sun. This leads to a small ethical dilemma: do I do nothing and let the fly die a slower death due to dehydration/starvation inside the house? OR...do I open the window and let the fly fly out into the subzero Iowan winter to freeze within seconds?

When I was a child I once kept a fly as a pet, so there is always the feed-the-fly option. I've always liked watching them rub their little front legs together and groom their eyeballs.

Perhaps an awful way to kill someone is to innoculate the person's body with the eggs of some of the parasites that exist...you know, the worms that end up floating in your eyeballs, tapeworms that hook on to your guts and siphon out your food, all sorts of mites, larvae of insects that eat flesh. Not a nice way to go. It would be a slow and disturbing death, being consumed from the inside out. Probably quite painful.

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