|
Register | Blogging | Today's Posts | Search |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
03-12-2018, 04:54 PM | #611 (permalink) |
SOPHIE FOREVER
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: East of the Southern North American West
Posts: 35,541
|
Even when being ironic you manage to be redundant smh
__________________
Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. |
03-16-2018, 02:38 PM | #612 (permalink) |
Ask me how!
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: The States
Posts: 5,354
|
Some stories for Hawk...
Margaret: Part One Margaret spent her days taking orders and washing dishes at a shitty diner, and servicing truckers in the back alley for extra cash. After realizing that she was making more money giving blowjobs than slaving for tips, she became a fulltime prostitute. Her new profession went well, until an undercover cop busted her, and she was forced to give him a cut of her profits and a blowjob every other day to avoid time in prison. Margaret: Part Two Margaret spent her free time pining over her neighbor. She was greatly attracted to him, but couldn't imagine that a guy like him would ever see anything in a prostitute like her, and never found the courage to tell him how she felt. She did her best to hide her feelings away in the box in her heart where she put all of her useless things. Good thing she did. He was a serial killer. Bob: Part One Bob was an expert at his craft, having trained in it since childhood. He was by far the most skilled member of his field. He started a company after graduating college, and built it into an empire. A rival empire with more connections than his soon swooped in and performed a hostile takeover. A few days later, a mugger threw acid in Bob's face while he was walking his dog, permanently blinding him. His wife and family divided his fortune, and abandoned him. Bob: Part Two Bob became a beggar so that he could afford food. One night, an old friend from college came to visit him. His name was Jim, and his career as a botanist was going well. While sharing a beer with Bob, Jim told him that he should pull himself up by his bootstraps. Bob finished the beer, and then beat him to death with the bottle.
__________________
---------------------- |---Mic's Albums---| ---------------------- ----------------------------- |---Deafbox Industries---| ----------------------------- |
03-16-2018, 04:32 PM | #616 (permalink) | |
one-balled nipple jockey
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dirty Souf Biatch
Posts: 22,006
|
Quote:
Serious Question: why can’t troll do this?
__________________
2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Member of the Year & Journal of the Year Champion Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND: https://www.musicbanter.com/members-...p-lighter.html |
|
03-16-2018, 04:44 PM | #617 (permalink) | |
Born to be mild
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: 404 Not Found
Posts: 26,992
|
Quote:
Last Orders Joey was in medical need of a drink, but he had no money. How to solve this dilemma? He decided to go to the kitchen, get a knife out of the drawer, and head down to his local liquor store. Having never pulled off a robbery before, he had the incredible bad luck to try to pull this one off while two off-duty cops were buying cigarettes. He was quickly disarmed and arrested. As he was black and poor, he soon ended up in the jug, and as this was also Texas, he was quickly sentenced to death for just those two crimes. But the story has a happy ending, as for his last meal he ordered a beer. So he got his beer in the end.
__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018 |
|
03-16-2018, 05:02 PM | #618 (permalink) |
Account Disabled
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Aalborg
Posts: 7,634
|
Last Orders (the Chinese pirate market verison)
Joey walked down the Sunday morning streets, his bare forearms numbed from the freezing weather. Joey didn't really notice. He was still feeling the buoyant buzz from his night-turned-moring leftover-vodka binge and needed some cheap, piss-taste beer to hold him over until his usual mid-day brandy binge could commence. The beer would serve as a sort of break for his kidney and his mind. A constant top level buzz just doesn't happen - not without killing yourself. Joey had instinctively developed a routine of peaks and valleys. This morning, Joey had forgotten his vallet. He didn't realize until his left foot hit the first of two steps into the local corner kiosk. Still in a slightly off-center, not quite calibrated for wise decisions mindset from the vodka, Joey absent mindedly pulled a hobby knife from his left pocket as he entered the store. Just 12 hours ago, he'd been opening boxes and putting the contents into storage at a dead-end day job. Now, knife in hand, he found himself pointing the knife tip at a wide eyed store clerk, while demanding 2 six packs of Steel Reserve. Joey was as surprised as the clerk, although slightly more dazed and a lot less attuned to the reality of the situation. 15 minutes later, cops dragging him into their van, Joey felt an ecstatic connection to the realness of life. Didn't last long, but for a split second, Joey felt more alive than he had for years. (this has been my first and possibly last contribution to this thread. many apologies.) Last edited by MicShazam; 03-16-2018 at 05:28 PM. |
03-16-2018, 05:24 PM | #619 (permalink) | |
one-balled nipple jockey
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dirty Souf Biatch
Posts: 22,006
|
Quote:
__________________
2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Member of the Year & Journal of the Year Champion Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND: https://www.musicbanter.com/members-...p-lighter.html |
|
|