What are you Writing now?

Oriphiel · 01-11-2018, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

I've decided that my 9/11 stoner comedy is better geared for a screenplay than a short story.

Better be called Never Forget 4/20.

Trollheart · 01-11-2018, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rubber soul

I know there are online magazines where you might be able to submit your work. One such site is something called Spank The Carp who liked to advertise on my writing site. Anyway, look around a little, and you might be able to find someone. Also, someone from my old forum mentioned Smashwords which would publish your work for free as long as they got a cut of the profits. At least that's what I think she said.

Thanks. I may look into those. It would be nice to get paid for writing. Been my dream for all my life. If only I didn't have this terminal condition known as chronic laziness.

Quote:

Basically, I was referring to the characters. I'm a little rusty on my Greek Mythology, but Hades was the god of the underworld as I think you may have mentioned. The story I'm most familiar with is the story of Persephone, who is Hades' wife. Orpheus was a musician essentially who went to the Underworld to rescue his wife Euripides. Hades agreed to let her follow him out but if he looked back, she would be lost to the Underworld forever. And of course the nitwit looked. There's some stuff on all the characters on Wiki and there certainly has to be some sites on Mythology out there. I was very interested in it during High School.

Oh yeah of course: I already referred to Orphs and Eury in the opening paragraph. I love that story: I mean, you can feel the guy's frustration and you just KNOW he's gonna look round at the last minute. Poor guy. Came to a sticky end too. I thought you meant other than that. Yeah, I like to reference mythology and the classics just to show how well-read I am.

Also known as "doing a Frownland".

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

I've decided that my 9/11 stoner comedy is better geared for a screenplay than a short story.

Any interest in it? Backers? Executive Producer? Netflix?

Oriphiel · 01-11-2018, 04:24 PM

Orpheus is the second best guy with O, R, P, H, and E in his name...

The first is Maplethorpe.

Trollheart · 01-11-2018, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

Orpheus is the second best guy with O, R, P, H, and E in his name...

The first is Maplethorpe.

What about Morpheus?

**Frownland** · 01-11-2018, 05:54 PM

Or Orphello?

rubber soul · 01-12-2018, 05:49 AM

I read part two, Troll. I like how you reversed the humans and roaches as to who were the dominant species. It was like you were replacing the roaches with today's humans and the humans with the animals humans hunt and exploit. I don't have a lot of nitpicks on this chapter.

Tennyson turned, his face a mass of conflicting emotions, and stopped. He remained that way, suspended in time, escape (escaping, escaped?)

On the same paragraph, maybe you need to ease into the roach characters a little better. When I got to that part, I was thinking, 'now where did they come from?'

Other than that though I really couldn't find anything that seemed off. I'll read part three over the weekend probably and tell you what I think of that. Good story so far.

Maajo · 01-12-2018, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

I've decided that my 9/11 stoner comedy is better geared for a screenplay than a short story.

Trollheart · 01-12-2018, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rubber soul

I read part two, Troll. I like how you reversed the humans and roaches as to who were the dominant species. It was like you were replacing the roaches with today's humans and the humans with the animals humans hunt and exploit. I don't have a lot of nitpicks on this chapter.

Technically, they're not roaches: they're an alien race called cramaxians, and they actually don't bear as much resemblance to cockroaches as Tennyson thinks they do. It's just how his mind figures it out, never having seen an alien before now. And of course it's a derogatory term for the aliens which the humans use.

Quote:

Tennyson turned, his face a mass of conflicting emotions, and stopped. He remained that way, suspended in time, escape (escaping, escaped?)

No, again sorry that's correct. Read it again: "escape only a few steps away". That's the correct usage. It's like saying "He held the door open, consternation written on his face." I know that one is used properly.

Quote:

On the same paragraph, maybe you need to ease into the roach characters a little better. When I got to that part, I was thinking, 'now where did they come from?'

You find out about that as you read on. I make it very clear how they got here. Incidentally, do you naturally assume we're talking about Earth here? We are, I just wondered if that thought occurred to the reader that maybe we were on a foreign planet?

Quote:

Other than that though I really couldn't find anything that seemed off. I'll read part three over the weekend probably and tell you what I think of that. Good story so far.

Thanks. Appreciate the feedback.

rubber soul · 01-12-2018, 08:18 AM

At first, I either thought you were writing about either another planet or some sort of Greek tragedy (going back to the Gods being mentioned). I think it was obvious you were talking about Earth when Professor Jinanga mentioned the humans once being in control of the planet. I guess you could twist it to appear that it was another human-like planet (I haven't read III and IV yet so for all I know, you did).

Anyhow, yeah, it will be interesting to see where this ends up.

Trollheart · 01-12-2018, 08:28 AM

I guess when you remember this is part of a trilogy of unrelated and unconnected stories which references man's hubris and arrogance, it's perhaps obvious that is is set on Earth, but I do like to twist things around, so watch out for (once I finish it) the shock twist in "Get Your Filthy Hands Off My Planet!" I think you'll enjoy that one.

01-11-2018, 04:24 PM	#463 (permalink)
Oriphiel Ask me how! Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The States Posts: 5,354	Orpheus is the second best guy with O, R, P, H, and E in his name... The first is Maplethorpe. __________________ ---------------------- \|---Mic's Albums---\| ---------------------- ----------------------------- \|---Deafbox Industries---\| -----------------------------

01-11-2018, 05:54 PM	#465 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	Or Orphello? __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

01-12-2018, 08:28 AM	#470 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	I guess when you remember this is part of a trilogy of unrelated and unconnected stories which references man's hubris and arrogance, it's perhaps obvious that is is set on Earth, but I do like to twist things around, so watch out for (once I finish it) the shock twist in "Get Your Filthy Hands Off My Planet!" I think you'll enjoy that one. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018