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01-11-2018, 03:06 PM | #451 (permalink) |
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You should try submitting your work to a lit mag, TH. Could use a bit of tightening, but pretty good. I've seen way worse stories get published. I really liked it. Here's hoping Batlord wasn't at the compound when Trangor visited, or he'd probably give up on humanity then and there.
As for what I've been writing, though I don't really talk about it much on here, I've actually been working on a book for the past two months set in that same sort of ruined post nuclear world. No giant intelligent cockroaches, though.
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01-11-2018, 03:24 PM | #452 (permalink) |
Call me Mustard
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I’ll go through parts II, III, and IV eventually, but I do have some thoughts (and a couple grammatical errors) on part I.
It looks like an interesting variation of a Greek myth. I recognize a lot of these characters from my Myth and Man High School class. One of these days, I’ll get back into reading the Greek classics. Anyhow, I’m enjoying this little trip to Hell. Okay, now for the nitpicks… Keep running, even though your chest feels like it’s going to explode and your heart burst through it. (heart bursts) but then in almost the selfsame moment (comma)that relief turned to horror men used to use these devices to ride along the seas, long long and long ago. (more commas) He knew them, of course, who did not? They called them roaches, due to the slight similarity to the insects his people had so often crushed underfoot. ( you have a thing about roaches, haven’t you? ) Damn them. Damn them all to hell. Didn’t they have any regard for a man’s dignity? (Planet of Apes refererence?) when he returned having successfully made it out beyond the compound, came (coming?) back with tales of adventure, daring and bravery. So, it looks like a pretty scary story. It has elements of old Greek Literature and hints of Kafka’s Metamporphosis. I’ll read the other chapters later, but so far so good. |
01-11-2018, 03:39 PM | #453 (permalink) | |
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Quote:
There are plenty of legit errors, though. Get on dat shit, TH! Also, coincidentally enough, I wrote a story about a guy whose heart burst out of his chest a couple months ago. Needless to say, none of the mags were keen on it.
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01-11-2018, 03:51 PM | #454 (permalink) | |||||||||
Born to be mild
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As for your nitpicks, let me respond quickly. Quote:
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01-11-2018, 03:55 PM | #455 (permalink) | ||
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Seriously, can you point them out, as I check my writing all the time before uploading and I'd be interested to see where I went wrong, if I did. Thanks.
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01-11-2018, 04:04 PM | #456 (permalink) | |
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Quote:
As for the errors, it's mostly issues of spacing/commas, with a few things worded a bit awkwardly. I'm sure rubber soul will point them all out for ya.
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01-11-2018, 04:08 PM | #458 (permalink) | |
Call me Mustard
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Quote:
I know there are online magazines where you might be able to submit your work. One such site is something called Spank The Carp who liked to advertise on my writing site. Anyway, look around a little, and you might be able to find someone. Also, someone from my old forum mentioned Smashwords which would publish your work for free as long as they got a cut of the profits. At least that's what I think she said. Basically, I was referring to the characters. I'm a little rusty on my Greek Mythology, but Hades was the god of the underworld as I think you may have mentioned. The story I'm most familiar with is the story of Persephone, who is Hades' wife. Orpheus was a musician essentially who went to the Underworld to rescue his wife Euripides. Hades agreed to let her follow him out but if he looked back, she would be lost to the Underworld forever. And of course the nitwit looked. There's some stuff on all the characters on Wiki and there certainly has to be some sites on Mythology out there. I was very interested in it during High School. |
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01-11-2018, 04:10 PM | #459 (permalink) | |
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Btw, I wrote half of my comedy entry before the contest went belly up. It was basically about OccultHawk quitting his job, giving all his co-workers their just desserts, while a bunch of characters that jumped out of film student movies ran amuck.
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01-11-2018, 04:14 PM | #460 (permalink) |
SOPHIE FOREVER
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I've decided that my 9/11 stoner comedy is better geared for a screenplay than a short story.
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