What are you Writing now?

**Frownland** · 12-22-2017, 02:58 PM

Are you only capable of avoiding predictability when you write on darker themes or something?

rubber soul · 12-22-2017, 03:09 PM

I don't think so. Besides, I could argue Edgar Allan Poe or Stephen King is predictable. I mean you know something horrible is going to happen.

This is something I originally had in my now deleted journal. I wrote this like four years ago and it's pretty awful actually, but this is a better example of what I write.

Quote:

Cindy is a little girl of seven. She lies comfortably on her soft hardwood mattress. She makes the usual noises that a little girl would do. Her mother opens the door and loving says “GET YOUR STUPID BUTT ASLEEP!”

Cindy cowers under her blanket as her mother gently slams the door. Cindy whispers “I didn't mean to do it. I was only playing with Tommy when I stabbed him with a fork. It didn't hurt much. He only needed five stitches.” Cindy continues talking to herself. “We were only playing tea time and Tommy hit me with Mrs. Beasley. I only stabbed him once.”

Mother enters the room again. “ARE YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF AGAIN MISSY? ONLY CRAZY PEOPLE TALK TO THEMSELVES!”

Cindy in terror sobs “I didn't mean to hurt Tommy Mommy. I’m sorry.”

Mother just rolls her eyes “Oh for Christ sakes Cindy you didn't hurt Tommy. It was just a plastic fork !”

“You, you mean he didn't need stitches?”

“He didn't even go to the hospital. Is he telling you stories again? If he did he isn't getting his Spam for dessert tomorrow.”

“Can I have Spam tomorrow?”

“Of course you can honey. Now go to sleep!” Mother slams the door and Cindy can hear her singing merrily “I’m a little teapot short and stout.”

Cindy now feels better as she goes to sleep knowing that she won’t be deprived of her Spam after her usual dinner of Strawberry Ice Cream and chocolate covered worms.

Everything is right with the world as Cindy starts to doze off to sleep. Unfortunately Cindy forgot to cover her left legs with her trusty blanket. Just before going into slumberland Cindy looks over and her fears have come to fruition. A tiny red devil with horns and a goatee has waited for this moment at last. He throws his pitchfork directly at poor Cindy’s leg. Cindy quickly covers herself just in time for the sharp pitchfork to bounce off her blanket harmlessly. The devil shakes his fist and disappears in a puff of baby powder dust.

Cindy now is mad as she grumbles. “Now what can happen next?”

Just than a large spider with a handlebar mustache…

**Frownland** · 12-22-2017, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rubber soul

I don't think so. Besides, I could argue Edgar Allan Poe or Stephen King is predictable. I mean you know something horrible is going to happen.

You could say the same for any satire: something funny is going to happen. That doesn't mean that the way that the comedy or horror comes about can't be unpredictable. EAP's stories are surprising to this day and while I hate his writing style, King can come up with a good plot (until he gets to the ending, that is) so those aren't good examples, really.

Trollheart · 12-22-2017, 03:20 PM

Since I began reading him (late I know, so sue me) Dickens's grasp of the plot twist has just bowled me over. I think I have his story all figured out and suddenly everything gets turned upside down. I won't say the guy invented the model for the novel, but by god he contributed a hell of a lot to it. You could do worse than study his work. We all could.

Trollheart · 12-22-2017, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rubber soul

I don't think so. Besides, I could argue Edgar Allan Poe or Stephen King is predictable. I mean you know something horrible is going to happen.

This is something I originally had in my now deleted journal. I wrote this like four years ago and it's pretty awful actually, but this is a better example of what I write.

Dammit, picking holes again but anyway...

The problem I see with this (assuming this is the whole thing) is that it goes nowhere and does nothing. It's kind of maybe trippy on one level, but it's completely, to me, anyway, unsatisfactory. It establishes nothing, leaves you with questions that are not only not answered (which is not always a problem in writing) but others that aren't even asked. It's just basically a few clever lines and ideas jammed together in the hope it will become a story and (again, allowing for the above caveat) it never really does.

rubber soul · 12-22-2017, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

Dammit, picking holes again but anyway...

The problem I see with this (assuming this is the whole thing) is that it goes nowhere and does nothing. It's kind of maybe trippy on one level, but it's completely, to me, anyway, unsatisfactory. It establishes nothing, leaves you with questions that are not only not answered (which is not always a problem in writing) but others that aren't even asked. It's just basically a few clever lines and ideas jammed together in the hope it will become a story and (again, allowing for the above caveat) it never really does.

It wasn't really supposed to. It was something I jotted together when I was down.

But there you go. You've established that you're not really into avant-garde writing (or garbled junk in my case

) and that's okay.

Look, I'm not going to become the next Truman Capote (that would be Pet Sounds

), but I've gotten to the point where I'm comfortable in my own skin. Anyway, I'm really here for the music.

Your critiques are brutal, Troll, but you're still a great writer.

Trollheart · 12-22-2017, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rubber soul

It wasn't really supposed to. It was something I jotted together when I was down.

But there you go. You've established that you're not really into avant-garde writing (or garbled junk in my case

) and that's okay.

Look, I'm not going to become the next Truman Capote (that would be Pet Sounds

), but I've gotten to the point where I'm comfortable in my own skin. Anyway, I'm really here for the music.

Your critiques are brutal, Troll, but you're still a great writer.

I hate criticising, but I try to do so constructively. I'll just stop now if you'd prefer.

I have another thing to post soon anyway.

rubber soul · 12-22-2017, 03:54 PM

It's not that you critique so much, Trolls. It's more about style. At the writing forum we'd have to critique some pretty atrocious stuff as you can imagine. A good critique there would certainly attack the flaws with the piece, but then we'd say something encouraging mentioning the one or two things we'd actually like about a piece, kind of like you did in the second critique. I didn't see that in your first critique; the only thing I saw was that I sucked.

Anyway, I won't post any writing in this thread for a while. Certainly be constructive with your criticism, but don't come off like Simon Cowell if you want people to post their writing here.

**Frownland** · 12-22-2017, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rubber soul

It's not that you critique so much, Trolls. It's more about style. At the writing forum we'd have to critique some pretty atrocious stuff as you can imagine. A good critique there would certainly attack the flaws with the piece, but then we'd say something encouraging mentioning the one or two things we'd actually like about a piece, kind of like you did in the second critique. I didn't see that in your first critique; the only thing I saw was that I sucked.

Anyway, I won't post any writing in this thread for a while. Certainly be constructive with your criticism, but don't come off like Simon Cowell if you want people to post their writing here.

Nah, you need to try to be less sensitive to criticism. TH wasn't even harsh with his comments and viewing them as such just tells me that you want a pat on the back instead of honest thoughts on your work. When you post something online, you need to be prepared for a response from Simon Cowell's bully's bully.

rubber soul · 12-22-2017, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

Nah, you need to try to be less sensitive to criticism. TH wasn't even harsh with his comments and viewing them as such just tells me that you want a pat on the back instead of honest thoughts on your work. When you post something online, you need to be prepared for a response from Simon Cowell's bully's bully.

I'm not looking for a pat on the back, but a little encouragement goes a long way. That's all I'm saying.

12-22-2017, 02:58 PM	#391 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	Are you only capable of avoiding predictability when you write on darker themes or something? __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

12-22-2017, 03:20 PM	#394 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	Since I began reading him (late I know, so sue me) Dickens's grasp of the plot twist has just bowled me over. I think I have his story all figured out and suddenly everything gets turned upside down. I won't say the guy invented the model for the novel, but by god he contributed a hell of a lot to it. You could do worse than study his work. We all could. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018