savannah stirs your chili

Freebase Dali · 09-10-2009, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 333

Dear Savannah,

Freebase Dali has better eyebrows than me. I can't seem to look past the magnificent arch when looking at his photos. It has become an obsession that I'm afraid will only be cured if I off someone ... Help?

You're a dirty whore, you know that?

Alfred · 09-10-2009, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kayleigh.

lmao i forgot about that, i shall translate.

edit: & boo you for not having MSN

You need to add me on msn.

~~Farfisa~~ · 09-10-2009, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by savannah

thats a rather subjective question,......i'd have to see your shoes to fully answer this question

FETCHER. · 09-10-2009, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alfred

You need to add me on msn.

the accent

?

asshat · 09-11-2009, 10:28 AM

...Dear Savannah.

I'm not sure when I'm creeping a girl out and when they've got a crush on me...because sometimes when I thought I was creeping them out they actually had a crush on me and sometimes when I thought they dug me I was actually making them feel very uncomfortable.

I'm really terrible at reading body language.

sincerely,
asshat from canada

cavanherk · 09-11-2009, 12:29 PM

Mmmmm I love chili.

Stir it up little darlin, stir it up.

savannah · 09-12-2009, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asshat

...Dear Savannah.

I'm not sure when I'm creeping a girl out and when they've got a crush on me...because sometimes when I thought I was creeping them out they actually had a crush on me and sometimes when I thought they dug me I was actually making them feel very uncomfortable.

I'm really terrible at reading body language.

sincerely,
asshat from canada

dearest bumtopper,
first make sure there is no bacon in your pocket,....girls are not like puppies and they wont flock to you just because you have meat

also, take note of their complection,....normally when girls blush they like you,.....when they look like they are gonna throw up,...youre doin it wrong

Freebase Dali · 09-12-2009, 08:05 PM

Savannah,

There's this girl in two of my college classes who I think might want to rape me.
Let me explain.
She's 25 years old, pretty fat (not saying that's bad, but it's not personally attractive), has pube-like hair, wears water-resistant plastic shoes, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't take showers.
Well, she's ALWAYS staring at me. I can see it out the corner of my eye, and when I turn out of instinct, she tries to turn away but because of the lipid masses in her neck, her reflex time is negated by physical constraints. So I basically catch her staring all the time.

She seems nice enough. She's always happy and pleasant to talk to. But when I'm being nice and talking to her like a nice guy does, I think she's getting the wrong idea. When the guy who sits next to me in one class isn't there for classes, she takes the opportunity to sit there, and happens to leave her massive arm very close to my mouse so I'll be forced to accidentally touch her when I use the computer.

It's sorta freaky. Because she can probably overpower me and have her way if I ever find myself alone in the hallway with her. Especially if there's a janitor closet nearby.

But I don't want to be an ass and tell her to gtfo, because I don't want to hurt her feelings. But if I let her build this internal infatuation by repeatedly making her feel like I don't think she'll eat me, then I feel like I'll pay for it when she goes nuts and makes one of those desperate love moves.

What should I do?

P.S... I get the feeling that she masturbates to me.
It's very bad, because when I'm masturbating, that thought process inevitably comes up and the night is ruined.
You've got to help me.

gotjuice · 09-12-2009, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by savannah

dearest bumtopper,
first make sure there is no bacon in your pocket,....girls are not like puppies and they wont flock to you just because you have meat

also, take note of their complection,....normally when girls blush they like you,.....when they look like they are gonna throw up,...youre doin it wrong

As a corollary to this answer, I'm assuming a generally bored expression is usually not a great indicator of turned-onness.

And freebase, I'm aware this is savannah's advice thread, but I'd recommend wearing some solid athletic shoes whenever you're around her. You may not be able to overpower her, but you sure as hell should be able to outrun her.

Dr.Seussicide · 09-12-2009, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

Savannah,

There's this girl in two of my college classes who I think might want to rape me.
Let me explain.
She's 25 years old, pretty fat (not saying that's bad, but it's not personally attractive), has pube-like hair, wears water-resistant plastic shoes, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't take showers.
Well, she's ALWAYS staring at me. I can see it out the corner of my eye, and when I turn out of instinct, she tries to turn away but because of the lipid masses in her neck, her reflex time is negated by physical constraints. So I basically catch her staring all the time.

She seems nice enough. She's always happy and pleasant to talk to. But when I'm being nice and talking to her like a nice guy does, I think she's getting the wrong idea. When the guy who sits next to me in one class isn't there for classes, she takes the opportunity to sit there, and happens to leave her massive arm very close to my mouse so I'll be forced to accidentally touch her when I use the computer.

It's sorta freaky. Because she can probably overpower me and have her way if I ever find myself alone in the hallway with her. Especially if there's a janitor closet nearby.

But I don't want to be an ass and tell her to gtfo, because I don't want to hurt her feelings. But if I let her build this internal infatuation by repeatedly making her feel like I don't think she'll eat me, then I feel like I'll pay for it when she goes nuts and makes one of those desperate love moves.

What should I do?

P.S... I get the feeling that she masturbates to me.
It's very bad, because when I'm masturbating, that thought process inevitably comes up and the night is ruined.
You've got to help me.

Find out what type of foods she doesn't like...(well, if such a thing exists...) then proceed to baste yourself in said food until you become that which she hates the most. She should quickly find you unappealing and you will be relieved of her constant glances and hungry stares (no pun intended). But hey, that's just my two cents.

Oh p.s. sorry for giving advice Savannah, I know it's your chili to stir

09-11-2009, 10:28 AM	#65 (permalink)
asshat king of sex Join Date: May 2009 Location: canada Posts: 331	...Dear Savannah. I'm not sure when I'm creeping a girl out and when they've got a crush on me...because sometimes when I thought I was creeping them out they actually had a crush on me and sometimes when I thought they dug me I was actually making them feel very uncomfortable. I'm really terrible at reading body language. sincerely, asshat from canada __________________ Rye Catcher II: Electric Boogaloo http://oldhickory666.blogspot.com/

09-12-2009, 08:05 PM	#68 (permalink)
Freebase Dali Partying on the inside Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,584	Savannah, There's this girl in two of my college classes who I think might want to rape me. Let me explain. She's 25 years old, pretty fat (not saying that's bad, but it's not personally attractive), has pube-like hair, wears water-resistant plastic shoes, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't take showers. Well, she's ALWAYS staring at me. I can see it out the corner of my eye, and when I turn out of instinct, she tries to turn away but because of the lipid masses in her neck, her reflex time is negated by physical constraints. So I basically catch her staring all the time. She seems nice enough. She's always happy and pleasant to talk to. But when I'm being nice and talking to her like a nice guy does, I think she's getting the wrong idea. When the guy who sits next to me in one class isn't there for classes, she takes the opportunity to sit there, and happens to leave her massive arm very close to my mouse so I'll be forced to accidentally touch her when I use the computer. It's sorta freaky. Because she can probably overpower me and have her way if I ever find myself alone in the hallway with her. Especially if there's a janitor closet nearby. But I don't want to be an ass and tell her to gtfo, because I don't want to hurt her feelings. But if I let her build this internal infatuation by repeatedly making her feel like I don't think she'll eat me, then I feel like I'll pay for it when she goes nuts and makes one of those desperate love moves. What should I do? P.S... I get the feeling that she masturbates to me. It's very bad, because when I'm masturbating, that thought process inevitably comes up and the night is ruined. You've got to help me. __________________

09-11-2009, 12:29 PM	#66 (permalink)
cavanherk barefoot troubadour Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 143	Mmmmm I love chili. Stir it up little darlin, stir it up.