I really need your help
 

ok im in a relationship, the guy got my mate pregnant before we went out and she still has it now. she wants to get rid, but he really wants it, baring in mind he already has a young kid. he is 2yrs older than me and im completely stuck what to do. i feel hurt that he wants the child, but i respect him for not wanting to kill it, he says he loves me and i love him, but i dont want to leave him, what do i do? :(

baby-mama drama sucks, i speak from experience...think about what youre getting yourself into.

i have fort bout it, but i love him too much to leave him, its just upsetting me to much, i hate thinking about it.

aren't you way too young?
ok didn't mean it to sound like that...i think it's not up to you, though...cause he should make the choice...leave the girl alone or be with you...and it's that girl's choice too...if she keeps the baby or not....f*cked up situation

im 15?! hes 17, i think shes going tonight to get it gone, but im really good friends with her, so its kinda screwed.

how old is she?

same age

Id just let them decide what they're going to do with the baby. You can still be with him if he helps with the kid, as long as he doesnt get involved with your friend, who hopefully wont cos she sounds like a really close friend..
But anyway just let them decide about this, he shouldnt leave you if he loves you as much as it sounds like you love him, but its not exactly a great situation. Just dont influence either of them on what to do with the baby, its a big decision theyve got to decide with each other. Be there to help them, and things'll sort themselves out.

Ok im fairly sure im no help at all, but i wanted to try :) good luck with what ever you do!

That is one screwed up situation, but honey keep in mind that you have your entire life in front of you. You haven't even begun to live yet, I say leave him and let him figure things out in his life and then if you both have feelings then go back, but straighten out everything first.

you guys have really helped me, thankyou so much, even though iv been crying for the past hour, ill sort this out.

thankyou so much for your advice x

don't worry..it's nice to help :) even only by typing

its just so good to talk to someone new

my advice would be, dont go asking people on the internet. find someone to talk too properly. people here cant do much, if anything for you. talk to a friend or family or professional about it.

haha, in other words, you need special help :D jk

Tales from the Trailer strikes back

its kinda sorted its self out now anyway

That's good to hear.

My ex-girlfriend got herself into a similar situation actually, a while back now. She had been cheating on me for a few months and she finished the relationship, I was totally heartbroken because she was someone I cared for more than anything in the world. A month or so later she told me that she had been expecting my child (pretty big news to me because we'd ALWAYS been careful) and that she had had an abortion. At the time this news totally crushed me, but looking back with the benefit of hindsight, becoming a father at that time would have been unfair on both myself and the child.

It's incredibly important to not be selfish in a situation like this, and think of the other two people involved, in my case the mother of the child, and most importantly, the child itself. I couldn't have given that child the sort of life he or she would deserve, and so I now think it best to wait until I can.

^That really sucks. But hey, if I was a guy I dont think I could have thought about that in a positive way at all, so well done.. Man that soudns cheesy and sucky and lame.. Ok so apparently Im no good at talking to people over the internet either.

Well it took me a VERY long time to look at it like that, during which time I did make my ex's life pretty crappy for "killing our baby", but the water's flowed under the bridge now, and we're both better off for not becoming parents. For a start I'd never have taken her back after the cheating, and from my experience of being a child of a single parent, my mum worked her ass off raising me and my brother, and I don't think I could've put my ex through that.

Thats really great. Not the situation, but y'know what I mean, the way you look at it.. I know people that wouldnt care about stuff like this, and I just dont understand how something like that cant affect you.. I know people are different and everything, but, like you said, it took a long time to look at the good side of it. *Sigh* Ah well, tis beyond me... Just wanted to say tis great for you :)

Yeah, it's not a nice situation to be in, but it IS a good experience to have behind me, I think. If that makes sense, which it probably doesn't.

hey i read that and i understand how much it must of hurt, but the way you fort about the child and the mother before yourself shows how much you cared. you must of done alot of thinking when you heard that kinda news, i no i did, but i was behind both of them all the way and just helped as much as i could. its ok now but my boyfriends really off with me, i thinks its just him trying to get over the situation, he really wanted that child so i guess hes just hurting.