Idk what you mean by survival food but sure.

That's cool but it's the most boring thing that you can do with a piece of beef.

I mean take random ingredients from fridge, drunk, minimal/no preparation, stir fry **** in pan till too hungry to wait any longer, eat.

You're better off actually leanring how to cook

If Ramon is beefy then you've got a good sandwich.

Let's assume I don't care enough.

Like, this isn't you winning me over to something. I'm prying an opinion from you whether you like it or not.

I enjoy it quite a bit. I pretend I'm one of the monkeys from 2001 when I'm eating it.

No.

I like it too but it doesn't compare to a good burger or carne asada.

take some ramen noodles and cook them without seasoning

Take a frying pan with some olive oil, and put it on medium heat

Put the noodles in the pan. Fry em a bit.

Crack a few eggs on top of the noodles. Stir it around until the eggs are cooked.

Instant delicious drunk man's food.

If you want to get fancy you can fry some onions and peppers and mix that in.

I disagree. I prefer a steak to a burger if the steak is of good enough quality.

But since I'm cheap I'm usually a burger eating savage just like you.

Used to lift expensive steaks from the grocery stores when I was... Not of sound mind or moral stature.

I like adding chili garlic sauce, peanut butter, soy sauce, a splash of lime juice, and parmesan to my ramen with the seasoning then I whisk an egg into there once the noodles are almost cooked and let it sit for a minute.

Conformist.

Peanut butter? I save that for the dogs at work

I'm sure you could find a nice girl to lick your junk and/or prostate if you tried.

I found one. Her name is Marley, and she loves peanut butter.

I would just suck it up, listen to a good podcast or something while I did it, and dream the day when Bernie Sanders subsidizes a Guatemalan maid for every American household.

Mine would be named Guadeloupe, but I'd call her Lupe for short.

omg you just wash the dishes

lol

^paraphrasing her boyfriend

Washing dishes is women's work. Not because it's suited to women but if you wait long enough women will wash them out of exasperation.

I tried this once but then I eventually realized a woman has to live there too for this to work.

Don't you have a case worker or something? That seems like a woman's job too.

My po was a woman. Most po's are hot chicks with guns tbh.

Just hand them a box of dirty dishes with some novelty fake cockroaches thrown in. By the time they realize the cockroaches are fake they'll already be elbow deep in suds and "Let's Get It On" will already be on the stereo.

Me and my po stopped seeing each other a while back.

If this were a movie that statement would show you to be a hardened but lovable criminal on the run.

I literally went to turn myself in cause I knew I had absconded.

When I got there, they told me they filed my case as an "unsuccessful termination." Meaning I might owe money to the state but no warrant.

I didn't do the community service, I only paid part of the money. I was dead sure I was in violation. I spent the last 2 nights getting ****ed up in motel rooms, procrastinating what I thought was an obvious few months at least in jail.

When they told me they had no warrant I was real relieved on one hand, and regretting the last two nights on the other. I had no plan. My plan was literally to go to jail.

I called Catawba county, where I had worked and racked up tickets and court dates I never made to see if they had a warrant for me. They said no.

So I went to the local homeless shelter. That was literally when I became officially homeless last time.

I can understand that perhaps. The idea of being out of control and having the state taking my decision making out of my hands and placing me in jail is terrifying but oddly comforting. As much as I hated military boarding school the best part was the structured life I had no say in that forced me to live in a certain way. TBH I used to fantasize about mocking Catholicism by becoming a priest or monk with the real hook being that the Church would deal with my room and board and give me a set schedule and lifestyle that would be comforting in its authoritarianism.

It wasn't even that. I had decent jobs and still didn't pay my fees. And I was being evicted. I figured jail was a good way to kill 3 birds with 1 stone.

1) get sober
2) pay off my debts to the state through time served instead of money
3) kick the housing question can down the road

but if that's your real fantasy come join the sobriety cult whose name shall not be mentioned

They will give you a good taste of institutional living and safety - freedom.

The problem being that I trust and respect any institution that would give me that life as much as I do the Catholic Church or I simply don't see how they are relevant to me. I should probably just knock over a 7-11 and pistol whip the clerk to make sure I get charged with assault with a deadly weapon.

I think you'll honestly find jail quite disapointing.

If you're going to go that route at least try to pull off a proper lick and get away with it. Robbing a 7/11 us ****in retarded.

And you really don't need to trust the institution. Just like the Catholic Church, you can technically leave whenever you want.

1. I'm not looking for jail if I'm going that route. I'm looking for prison.

2. How would I find it disappointing? If I'm going to go the self-inflicted sentence route all I'd want is a long (decade+) sentence and room and board. I wouldn't pretend to know anything else that comes along with it since I'm just a sheltered goofball.

omg tell me my mother won't be in prison

I've not been to prison but the people who I know who have say it's better than jail in terms of basic quality of life **** and autonomy, but it's more dangerous.

But you'd be disappointed once you got there and realized that after a bit, just not having to work for room and board doesn't make up for having nothing to do and being constantly dehumanized and accustomed to institutional living.

You not having any specific expectations won't protect you from regretting your decision.

But like I said, if you WERE gonna go that route why wouldn't you at least try to get away with the money, which would undoubtedly be way more fun than prison. I just don't understand your thinking sometimes.

Maybe but if you think your manager at BK is a dick, wait till you meet the guards.

Well duh.

Again duh. Prison is just the most extreme option for removing myself from societal living that doesn't involve learning how to build my own log cabin.

Because I'm not good enough for that ****.

I mean come on, you'd have to be a retard to think that prison would be fun, but tell me honestly that somewhere in that brain of yours that's not so good at acclimating to everyday society you haven't entertained the notion of removing yourself from it by committing a crime and going to prison. Or something.

Bruh. I live to hate immediate authority.

I'm not saying I want to go to prison I'm just saying if I ever did prison guards would be my very natural enemies.

Why would you let it sit?