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Old 03-19-2015, 08:33 AM   #4231 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Black Francis View Post
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye matey!
Genuine lol.
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I'd vote for Trump
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Old 03-19-2015, 09:02 AM   #4232 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by black francis View Post
what did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye matey!
10/10
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Old 03-19-2015, 09:57 AM   #4233 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Black Francis View Post
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye matey!
I like this one.
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:05 AM   #4234 (permalink)
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So, one time I decided to spend my summer on a pirate ship, right? Everything was going great: looting, pillaging, wenching. That whole deal. But then one day this massive storm hit our boat.

The waves had to be at least twenty feet high. The rain was coming down in sheets and you could barely see a few feet in front of you. The wind was blowing with such ferocity that it threatened to lift you right off your feet and out into the ocean.

I was about to go below deck so that I didn't get washed overboard, when I saw the captain steering the ship... with his balls tied to the wheel. So I went up to the captain and asked him, "Doesn't it hurt to steer the ship with your balls tied to the wheel like that?"

"Arrr! It drives me nuts!"
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There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:16 AM   #4235 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by The Batlord View Post
So, one time I decided to spend my summer on a pirate ship, right? Everything was going great: looting, pillaging, wenching. That whole deal. But then one day this massive storm hit our boat.

The waves had to be at least twenty feet high. The rain was coming down in sheets and you could barely see a few feet in front of you. The wind was blowing with such ferocity that it threatened to lift you right off your feet and out into the ocean.

I was about to go below deck so that I didn't get washed overboard, when I saw the captain steering the ship... with his balls tied to the wheel. So I went up to the captain and asked him, "Doesn't it hurt to steer the ship with your balls tied to the wheel like that?"

"Arrr! It drives me nuts!"
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:17 AM   #4236 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by The Batlord View Post
So, one time I decided to spend my summer on a pirate ship, right? Everything was going great: looting, pillaging, wenching. That whole deal. But then one day this massive storm hit our boat.

The waves had to be at least twenty feet high. The rain was coming down in sheets and you could barely see a few feet in front of you. The wind was blowing with such ferocity that it threatened to lift you right off your feet and out into the ocean.

I was about to go below deck so that I didn't get washed overboard, when I saw the captain steering the ship... with his balls tied to the wheel. So I went up to the captain and asked him, "Doesn't it hurt to steer the ship with your balls tied to the wheel like that?"

"Arrr! It drives me nuts!"
This joke is so old the last time I heard it I laughed so hard and fell off my dinosaur.
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:22 AM   #4237 (permalink)
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:46 AM   #4238 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Ki View Post
This joke is so old the last time I heard it I laughed so hard and fell off my dinosaur.
That way of saying a joke is old is so old Plato theorized that it should no longer be used.
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:51 AM   #4239 (permalink)
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That way of saying a joke is old is so old Plato theorized that it should no longer be used.
I remember when Adam and Eve told me this same thing in the first grade.
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Old 03-19-2015, 11:27 AM   #4240 (permalink)
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A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
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