more ranting about Christmas songs I hear at work because I'm slightly drunk and everything is just amusing to me right now.

there's one song with several different versions, something like "every day could be a holiday when my baby comes home" and all I can think is

• what happened to this baby?
• it just up and disappeared?
• is child protective services bothering you or something?
• I guess it could be a relief if they stopped so yeah, I hope it comes back or whatever.
• This could make a hilarious parody song

and "baby it's cold outside" is almost definitely a song about sexual coercion and it's just creepy as fuck. the chick goes "the answer is no" and that fucker just keeps bothering her to stay the night like what the fuck is wrong with you??

then there's this other one where some guy is singing about "Christmas with my baby" or some shit and all I can think of is

• Deadbeat dad is getting his kid for the holidays
• All he ever does is play basketball with his friends and swim in his pool
• Because he has a lot of fancy shit but never pays child support
• Kid just chills there and takes a few basketballs to the face
• Dad tries to feed kid KFC because he's stupid or something
• This would also make a hilarious parody song

then there's that godawful version of "Frosty the Snowman" where this bitch sounds like she's being held hostage in Buffalo Bill's fucking pit of doom, forced to sing this damn song over and over again in the middle of goddamn April just so he'll throw some food down at her.

I can't wait til Christmas fucks off.

Baby It's Cold Outside definitely has some very prominent and rapey undertones.

Especially when she says, "Say, what's in this drink?"

I think they're too prominent to count as undertones.

You mean pea soup.

3 green onions, thinly sliced (leaf and bulb)
3 cloves garlic minced
4 tblsp vinegar
5 tblsp soy sauce
1/2 cup Peanut butter
1/2 cup lemon-lime soda
2-3 Tbsp oil

Heat on low until onions are cooked

Add shredded roasted chicken

Serve with rice noodles

Garnish with a chopped peanuts and a LOT of cilantro

Oh man this sounds awesome.

Whole milk four days past the expiration date. GO!!!

Song idea: musique concrete made up of the sounds of various objects being rubbed on my beard.