After an exhaustive and, frankly, brutal and soul-destroying investigation which has taken literally days, SGR and I can finally reveal the scope and scale of this heinous conspiracy, the existence of which most of you are not aware. But it is very real.
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In 2018 a young North Korean officer was, we have determined, summoned to the Palace of Kim Jong-Un, the God-Emperor and Really Nice Leader and You Had Better Agree or We Will Kill You of North Korea, or as it is called in the South, the Bad Neighbour. This operative, whose name of course was never released, was told to assume the codename K-Addict. Their mission was to spam as many forums as possible with bubblegum inoffensive K-pop videos, so as to weaken the brains of the capitalist imperalist dogs in the west and so lead to mass lethargy and inaction. After workers began failing to turn up at the factories and offices, His Kimness told the agent, and schoolkids were absent from school, the fury of the west, especially the hated America, would be turned on South Korea, as it is known that this is where K-pop comes from.
This then would lead to a war of words between South Korea and its allies, resulting, if the agent did their job properly, in the isolation of South Korea, the withdrawal of all ambassadors and the loss of all support from NATO and the West, leaving the South ripe for a surprise invasion from the North. Korea would quickly and decisively be one country again, allowing His Kimness to set in motion a proper offensive against the West, and so become God-Emperor of Earth.
This nefarious plot was discovered, at great personal risk to his lunchtime, by our of our finest agents, who goes under the codename of NO-ICE and is known here as SGR. It is thanks to his alertness and patriotism that we now have the dossier on K-Addict and the North Korean plot.
The question now facing us, and it is one of the most serious and troubling ever discussed by man, is what do we do now?
All suggestions welcome. Your replies will be treated in the strictest confidence.