The Spam Thread: Channel Your Need to Spam Here Only

[Plankton]

Mixed in some tea with a little honey was always the best way to Trojan horse that **** down my gullet. It's been years though.

Guaranteed to make them land.

[WWWP]

I chop them up real small and put it into chocolate. Easy to transport and makes a nice trail snack

[Plankton]

*trails snack

[Frownland]

[Frownland]

[WWWP]

[DwnWthVwls]

Originally Posted by WWWP

I chop them up real small and put it into chocolate. Easy to transport and makes a nice trail snack

I actually grew to not mind them, but before I could stomach them straight I used to make grillcheese sandwiches.

[DwnWthVwls]

Originally Posted by elphenor

every year

Curious what you do. When we had those kinds of dinners everyone knew how I felt so I sat there staring at them and eating bread.

[The Batlord]

Good bread, good meat, good god, let's eat.

[Mindy]

iPhone

Here's how to stop apps that access your microphone:

Tap "Settings"
Tap "Privacy"
Tap "Microphone"
Deselect (flip from green to gray) every app you don't want accessing the mic.

Here's how to turn off Siri:

Return to "Settings"

Tap "Siri & Search"

Deselect "Listen for “Hey Siri," "Press Home for Siri," and "Allow Siri When Locked"

Tap ‘Turn Off Siri’ when the prompt appears

It's a little different for iOS 10:

Tap "Settings"
Tap "General"
Tap "Siri"
Tap "Turn Off Siri"

If you aren't going to use dictation:

Tap "Settings"
Tap "General"
Tap "Keyboard"
Switch off "Enable Dictation"


Google Pixel

For apps that use the mic:

Tap "Settings"
Tap "Privacy"
Tap "Permissions Manager"
Tap "Microphone"
Under the subheading "Allowed," deselect the apps that don't need microphone access.

To turn off Google Assistant:

Tap "Settings"
Tap "Apps & Notifications"
Tap "Assistant"
Turn off "Google Assistant"


Android

To turn off “OK Google” Voice Assistant:

Tap "Settings"
Tap "Google"
Tap "Search" under the "Services" header

Google records your searches and commands. Here's how to stop that:

Login to Google’s "My Activity" page (all your web activity, basically)
Tap filter by "Date & Product"
Tap "Deselect All"
Tap "Voice & Audio"
Tap "Apply"
Tap on "Voice and Audio" above whatever file you want to listen to
Tap "View recording" and play

There you have it. We don't know what the NSA can still do, but at least Google contractors won't be able to hear you singing in the shower anymore.