You have graying hair ringing the head of your dick?

I'm afraid to shave it off. The pain will be immense.

Tweezers are more painful but proportionately more rewarding.

The same can't be said about Weezer.

At least not the "rewarding" part.

I don't give a **** about Weezer but **** off with your lame pseudo-joke.

Lame pseudo jokes are what I do best :(

Do pets have a right to your hand? Many is the time that one of my cats or dogs have approached me clearly wanting affection and I've just felt, "Ugh, I love you but I'm not in the mood/I just pet you a little while ago/I just walked in the door and I need to not deal with other beings and their needs/etc, but am I infringing on their rights as my dependents? The entire basis for their existence and well-being is that I care for them and am willing to look out for their interests, and a large part of that is because we exchange affection through physical contact, so by denying them physical contact when it is "reasonable" am I as a pet owner denying them their assurance of care? If my cat comes up to me no matter how I feel and it's been hours since I last saw and pet them is it morally incumbent upon me to put aside my own feelings and just pet the needy little ****er?

And yes I am talking about you, you needy little ****. I was on my way in after a cigarette and you ambushed me. **** you I love you. And yes I did pet her.

@Frown

So you know some stuff about finance and I've been toying with the idea of taking ten dollars a week out of my check to alphabetically invest in every stock on the NYSE that is a dollar or less, or investing in any stock that is an anagram for "GAY" or "FAG". Never selling anything and never buying anything on the basis of market predictions. As I have heard throwing darts at stocks is as worthwhile in the short term and possibly even more in the long term as paying a glorified gambler to manage your portfolio and I'm curious about your thoughts.

You're better off budgeting and assigning a consistent portion of your paycheck to savings the same way you would a bill. If you do go into stocks just treat it like the crapshoot that it is, expect to lose your money, and don't make yourself crazy checking out stock updates every two minutes. And don't pay for classes on how to successfully navigate the stock market because they're always scams.

Like I said I was planning on none of that and treating it like a joke and never checking my portfolio or getting into stock gambling. I'm just curious if it's actually a broken system where I can invest gradually in whatever the **** over time and gain pointless value so that I can one day afford more cigarettes. I forget what the type of investment is that's literally random stocks purchased that over time actually outperforms portfolios managed by actual brokers but if that's a thing then why the **** not? I mean logically if you invest one dollar in every single stock then unless the entire market collapses then you'll make money in the long term, right?