The Spam Thread: Channel Your Need to Spam Here Only

[Oriphiel]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

I think my retarded coworker might be evil. I drew a condensation dick on the glass door of my store and after a mild verbal altercation he snitched on me. I could pass this off as him being a snitcher in general but the sheer smugness with which he gazed upon me afterward leads me to believe that we now have a friendly war going on. I am hamstrung by this as he doesn't do things that I do that are eminently snitchable, but as a... non-retard I suppose I do have the benefit of greater versatility. This is not over.

To be perfectly honest I'm rather proud of my coworker for ****ting on me so decisively. I didn't know he had it in him.

It's BK. Nobody would notice if he disappeared. And nobody would notice if the meat tasted slightly worse than usual.

Just sayin'.

[grindy]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

I think my retarded coworker might be evil. I drew a condensation dick on the glass door of my store and after a mild verbal altercation he snitched on me. I could pass this off as him being a snitcher in general but the sheer smugness with which he gazed upon me afterward leads me to believe that we now have a friendly war going on. I am hamstrung by this as he doesn't do things that I do that are eminently snitchable, but as a... non-retard I suppose I do have the benefit of greater versatility. This is not over.

To be perfectly honest I'm rather proud of my coworker for ****ting on me so decisively. I didn't know he had it in him.

Is he fatter than you?

[Cuthbert]

Told on you for drawing a cock? Sounds a right cunt.

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by Frownland

Tell him that Windex is store brand gatorade.

He will listen to literally nothing you tell him. I tried telling him that Surge was Mountain Dew with pee in it and he didn't believe me even thought that is factually correct.

[Frownland]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

He will listen to literally nothing you tell him. I tried telling him that Surge was Mountain Dew with pee in it and he didn't believe me even thought that is factually correct.

Convince him of something entirely reasonable so that he does the opposite, then.

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by grindy

Is he fatter than you?

Oh my yes. It's half my basis for mocking him.

Originally Posted by Fluff

Told on you for drawing a cock? Sounds a right cunt.

I think I've been giving him practice for being a bad person tbh. He's a nice guy. He seems to be getting less nice.

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by Frownland

Convince him of something entirely reasonable so that he does the opposite, then.

I can convince him of literally nothing at this point. That boat has sailed. He rightfully considers anything I tell him to be a lie.

[Frownland]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

I can convince him of literally nothing at this point. That boat has sailed. He rightfully considers anything I tell him to be a lie.

So flip it on him.

"Sticking a metal fork into an electrical outlet will **** you up."
"Not gonna buy it, Chuckie."
BK now sells fried fingers

[Frownland]

"That lady told me that she doesn't want to see your peepee."

[The Batlord]

It's literally to the point where if he doesn't immediately understand what I'm telling him that he just tells me to shut up. He tells me to shut up all day. Sometimes I can't even get the sentence out even when I'm saying something about actual work and he tells me to shut up. It's rather ingenious tbh. You can't be fooled by someone you're telling to shut up.

There are times when I legit need to ask him something and him telling me to shut up qualifies as trolling me. Those are my favorite times.