OMG srsly? Cream of wheat is amazing. It's like oatmeal but good.

im fukkin ded

I desperately want to film a documentary about Mindfulness and just observe him in his natural habitat for a while.

I have a feeling it would be him narrating in a monotone voice like he's in some 3rd world country telling us about how he fist fights large rats for food.

I always picture mindfulness in a sideways baseball cap.

In a shaky cam PBS documentary.

No, no I was thinking more of a David Attenborough-style documentary (I'd narrate and film from afar--interviewing very rarely-- while he goes about his whimsical day/forages for food on the mean streets of Connecticut.)

Yes, basically. It would be all drab and depressing in a condescending way cause the rest of America needs him to be a victim.

Opening scene:
Mindfulness walks into the room and opens the fridge. He pulls out a Monster energy drink. As he opens the can, the drink starts fizzing out of control. Mindfulness turns to the camera and shrugs. Freeze frame as pop punk starts playing.

Closing scene:
Mindfulness, weary, places the hatchet in his trunk, stares into the sunset, and begins driving towards Mexico.

Yup PBS documentary.