Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1332306)

Hitler Reviews Marduk's Panzer Division Marduk

Guten tag, Party people! Mein gutt friend, Herr Batlord, hast asked me to do a review for his racially superior music journal unt I haf agreed. Black metal ist near unt dear to mein herz unt Marduk's Panzer Division Marduk ist an album zat I haf been meaning to listen to for years. I burned ze title track onto a compilation CD years ago, but I never quite got around to listening to ze rest of zis album, so I'm doing so now...




Mein Gott, zis ist some intense stuff! Marduk ist a black metal band, unt zis definitely has a ton ov black metal influence, but zis ist just as much a deaz metal album. But zis ist different from any blackened deaz metal zat I can think ov. It's just totally intense unt pretty much puts ze pedal to ze metal from ze word "Schnell!" unt doesn't slow down till ze album ist over. It hast nein self consciously "Evil" atmosphere. It hast nein lo fi aesthetic. In fact ze production ist actually rather clean unt gives ze music a fullness zat gives it an impact zat black metal usually does not haf. It's only goal ist to launch an aural blitzkrieg on ze Poland ov your unsuspecting eardrums. Ze album starts vith a sample of mein Wehrmacht soldiers screaming, "FIRE!" unt a barrage ov artillery fire, vich is pretty much ze perfect segue into ze holocaust to come. I sort of imagine zat zis is going to become an endurance test after a few songs.

After having listened to ze whole zing, it's pretty much vat I expected. I don't zink I can actually pick out any songs zat really sound different from vone anozer. Zey're all pretty much ze same blast unt grind. Zere are parts zat break up vat could be monotonous, but in general, ja, it's all ze same zing. It ist actually pretty cartoonish. Ze entire album ist vone long blastbeat unt ze riffs are likevise ze same zing recycled over unt over again. Any band vith an ounce ov creativity vould be ashamed ov zemselves for recording such an unimaginative piece ov utter sheisse. Yet, for some reason I actually kind of love zis. It's so intense zat I can't zink of anyzing quite like it. It even makes Suffocation unt Cryptopsy look restrained. Mayhem? Untermenschen. It ist just so committed to unrestrained brutality zat zere just isn't room for diversity. I vish I had zis album to listen to ven I invaded Russia. It's pretty much just a zirty minute long force ov nature. Unt zank Gott it's only zirty minutes long. Any longer unt it vould seriously outlive its willkommen. Zis isn't somezing I'd listen to every day, but ven I'm in ze mood I doubt zat anyzing but zis vould do. I guess you could say Anaal Nazrakh, but even Ze Codex Necro ist not so myopically intense.






Disclaimer: No Jews were harmed in the writing of this review.

Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre (Post 1885115)

Straight edgers have been on gang lists for as long, if not longer, than juggalos. The story is exactly the same as why juggalos are there. Both seem to stem from MY state too. I like proving how self righteous and hypocritical juggalos are when I tell them I want to get straight edge of the gang list here. Then they throw a tantrum about it because they hate straight edge which plays exactly into the fact that they label juggalos and straight edge as rival gangs. It's really stupid. This whole situation show cases the capacity of human stupidity.

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1885132)

Hip hop in general seems to have the most tribalist mentality of the more mainstream underground musical sub-cultures, and juggalos are the most cringey example. Just chill out and like the music you like without making it an identity politics thing. And yeah metalheads can be guilty of this, but I think that part of our history largely died when the 80s ended.

Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre (Post 1885146)

Well straight edge is punk.

Yeah, I agree. But you got to remember that ICP isn't selling juggalos just music, they are selling them an identity. They are selling them the idea that this is where you belong when nobody else wants you and you have to stick up for each other. It's like that Jumpsteady song where Shaggy says, "if you see another ninja about to get into a fight that's you, that's your fight". No other hip hop culture has that element, that I've seen. ICP really did create one of the best marketing techniques seen. It breeds dedicated customers that keep them alive. There are juggalos that will support artists on that label even though they don't like the music simply because those artists are juggalos. It can also breed the violence that they never want to admit exists.

Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre (Post 1885148)

A lot of these subcultures kind of breed an arrogant separatism in it's members. A lot of them tell you that you're misunderstood, you're a misfit, you're an individual, this place is for you and it's all a load of bull****. Because they all dress the same, they all act the same, the all have their own guided perception of what music should be and their logic behind it is flawed. Aggrotech isn't any more thoughtful or inspired than anything coming from mumble rap and Rob Zombie is just as predictable and poppy as Taylor Swift. It's all just repackaged in the wrapping paper you prefer. And when artists or people are actually as innovative and free thinking as they like to think they are, it's rejected. Because of that, I will always give anybody who labels them self or boxes them self inside a subculture **** for it. They deserve it for thinking they are better for something as superficial as their manufactured style and musical taste.

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1885150)

This is why I wish ICP had been more recognized for their entertaining nonsense and oddball pop sensibilities than their juggalo identity politics or their supposed edgy lyrics. With another fanbase of self-aware goofballs they might have started something way more fun that didn't include ****ing Blaze Ya Dead Homie or Boondox.