Sounds like you've got conjunctivitis. I'm still not sure if that's a real thing or not.

Well according to WebMD it is either conjunctivitis, blephartis, ocular rosacea or some sort of cancer that's going to kill me at any moment. Probably the latter.

If I recall correctly I was doing some gangsta **** with your roommate and when we came back to your apartment you were sleeping with a glass of red ****ing wine in your hand without spilling a drop

Absolute ****ing madman.

Also it was a double bed

Eh, I'll take it.

Smash Chunkhead.

That's my favorite MSTK3000 episode by the way. When the lady comes back to live in the next scene as a different person I always lose my sh*t.

I bet the ant god held off destroying the colony for at least a week because of that.

Crud Deadlift!