I assume they're all just gluing dildos to the end.

I dreamt about the Batlord tonight. I don't remember the details but it definitely involved gang criminality and at least one glass of wine

Was I hardcore?

I could watch this all day.

Eye update that no one asked for: So, now, the undereye area looks slightly bruised, and my bottom eyelid is swollen. The eye is still watery and sore and bloodshot (mainly just around the iris), too. It doesn't feel itchy or anything. It had gotten better for a couple days and then it went right back to how it was before. I really, really hope it isn't ocular rosacea. It's been like this for nearly two weeks now so I suppose I'll drag myself to the doctor tomorrow or thursday.

I missed what originally happened to it.

Oh, nothing happened to it exactly; I didn't injure it or anything. It's just a mystery. A very unexciting mystery.

Sounds like you've got conjunctivitis. I'm still not sure if that's a real thing or not.

Well according to WebMD it is either conjunctivitis, blephartis, ocular rosacea or some sort of cancer that's going to kill me at any moment. Probably the latter.

If I recall correctly I was doing some gangsta **** with your roommate and when we came back to your apartment you were sleeping with a glass of red ****ing wine in your hand without spilling a drop