I'm bored and in a silly mood so I wrote this out when asked to take a customer satisfaction survey after speaking to a rep from Warby Parker. They really are awesome. I gotta say.
The prompt was "Why does Maddie deserve 5 stars?"
Quote:
Because Maddie talks like a happy person who likes her job and doesn't sound like a robot.
"I'm sorry to hear that. Your concern is our concern. I will now takes 8 minutes to respond with less information than you had before"
Yeah. Get out of here robot customer service person. Be more like Maddie who has the same eye phobias and procrastination issues as I do. That's a connection. That is service. We are all just people needing answers to their outdated prescription questions. Let's be real about it. Maddie deserves whatever accolades a single customer service survey can get her. Free lunch? Gold star on her desk? Pat on the back? Actually, don't pat Maddie on the back. That isn't good office behavior. ive her the free lunch and if all else fails, throw her some shooty finger guns and be like "Way to go Maddie".
She deserves that.
HOLY JESUS I JUST SCROLLED DOWN. You guys let me choose a reward for Maddie? You guys are freakin' awesome. Okay, I don't see any shooty finger guns. Can I pick all three? Nope. Now I have to decide.
Coffee is pretty important but some people don't like coffee and I don't know much about Maddie since we only chatted for a few minutes.
Lunch is always cool. Do you guys get Chipotle or maybe fast food? Fast food can be pretty gross. I don't like that risk.
Product is the big risk though. Could be a new car or it could be a little plastic box to hold paper clips that always eats the last two or three paperclips because they fall to the bottom and are basically suction cupped and will remain there until you either light it on fire or shoot it into space. Hopefully it's a car.
I'll go with lunch because Maddie is at least guaranteed a lunch. There is a distinct difference between lunch and a snack and I trust Warby Parker to know that difference.
Thanks Maddie!
P.S. You better buy Maddie a freakin' lunch after I wrote this survey out. I'll be disappointed if you don't and I'll find out one way or another.
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