Unjokes and Anti-humour
 

Let's celebrate one of the lazier forms of humour, those drab jokes that often don't even try to be funny. I'm talking about anti-humour, the kind of "fun" which is set up as a joke, then often becomes anti-climactic as the punch line is missing or just not funny. (Sometimes, they still manage to be hilarious, but let's not think too much about that.)

Example : Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.


Here's one :

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?

.. cancer.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating in the middle of the ocean?

Bob!

What's better than 40 dead babies in a tree?

1 dead baby in 40 trees!

I think I'm doing it right...

Want to hear a dirty joke?

The pig fell in the mud.

kfreek, you're not getting it quite right. Most unjokes are fairly boring and lack a real punchline.

Like .. How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You open the door, pick up the elephant, stick it in the fridge and then close it.

There you go, anti-humour!

Your mother is so fat - she could get diabetes.

Like corny jokes basically. Jokes that are funny to old ladies that are dying.


Is your fridgerator running?

Well you'd better catch it.

No, that's still witty. Maybe you need to check up on this wikipedia article. :p

An example there is : A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependancy is destroying his family.

OH I SEE.


Knock-knock.
Who's there?
The police. Your entire family was killed in a car wreck.

how do you make a mime yell?

throw a brick at his face.

What did the hobo get for Christmas?

Nothing.

Yup, there you go ;)

Mr. A : What’s the difference between a gynecologist and a plumber?
Mr. B : Beat’s me.
Mr. A : A gynecologist is a physician specializing in the treatment of women, whereas a plumber is a skilled tradesman who specializing in pipes and drains and such.

Why was your eye itchy?

Because a spider layed its eggs in your head

Why did you feel unwell?

You had the plague

What did Helen Keller name her dog?

oggkhknmfdsnkmnfdjznfj

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One holds groceries, the other molests children.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: He didn't. He got hit by a bus.

why did Billy fail his final exam?
Because he's Jewish

Your mother's so old, she's likely to die soon

-this'd probably count too

lol, thats not anti-humor its working blue.

OMG that's incredible.

What is white, hairless, 14 years old and 11 feet long?


...the line at the Jonas Brother's Concert.

How many janitors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They do it for a living for fuck's sake.

Knock knock...

C'mon you know how this works.

KNOCK KNOCK...

:mad: Ugh... Who's there?

daves not here man...

Oh...you've heard it! :(


Best anti-joke ever.

Thats a good one, I was hoping for something better but I guess thats the point after all.

How do you get a witch pregnant?....
You fuck her.

lol? ^

This joke won us the war;

An Englishman , A Chinese man & an African walk into a bar

What a fine example of an integrated community.

How many Pakistani's can you get into a mini?

4...and possibly a small child.

What do you call a man with 6 toes on each foot?
Sir

What do you call two gay guys and an empty bottle of Jack Daniels?

Drunk.

You know, the first time I read through this, I saw the word "elephant" and it not only made the joke better, but may explain a few of my spelling problems. I read through it no less than twice more to find the world elephant again.

How do you get to Carnigie Hall?

Practice.

lol. Where in the sentence was it?

Were they pink Brennan? :crazy:

What's the similarity between a bicycle and an orange?












They both have handlebars, except the orange.

:laughing:

oh please, do come in! :D

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO LET THE CHICKENS OUT BITCH.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Being shot in the head.

Man walks into a Bar...says ouch

Bartender tells him to watch where he is going next time...

Man rapes and kills bartender

:rofl:

I love this kind of humor, its like comedy for dadaism.

I loved this one!

Why did Jane Goodall live with monkeys?
Because she is a dumb twat.

What do Christopher Reeves and Dead babies have in common?
They are both dead.

Edit: I know dead baby jokes are the top of the lame as hell list, but I made it up and could only think of that. Next time I'll use someone's family member.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust

What do you call a book about incest and dyslexia?

"Daddy, pots!"

^Pfft. Nice.

What did the banana say to the mockingbird?

Nothing, because your mom's a whore.

what did the school janitor say to the greasy teenager?

nothing, he's deaf :l



what does Jesus wear to Church?

i don't know :l