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Old 10-17-2013, 03:45 PM   #9391 (permalink)
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What a brilliant ****ing idea! Why the crap didn't I think of that?!
I figured that would go over well.
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Old 10-17-2013, 04:04 PM   #9392 (permalink)
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I'd say get a girlfriend. Its way better masturbating when its someone elses hand roping you and massaging your balls.
Idk man, I can still give myself a better handjob than any girl iv *** across. Dat dere deathgrip of peace.
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Old 10-17-2013, 04:20 PM   #9393 (permalink)
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Idk man, I can still give myself a better handjob than any girl iv *** across. Dat dere deathgrip of peace.
You guys are the professionals man. I'll take your word for it, you look like a dude with a vice grip dawg.
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Old 10-17-2013, 04:48 PM   #9394 (permalink)
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You could try a softer grip. It's counter-intuitive I know, but it actually works perfectly well.

Anyone else with some turkey jerky advice?
Don't whack it furiously.
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Old 10-17-2013, 04:53 PM   #9395 (permalink)
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Someone once suggested to me to scoop out the innards of a cucumber as to just leave the skin in one piece, pop it in the microwave and... awwwwh yeeeeah!
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Old 10-17-2013, 04:56 PM   #9396 (permalink)
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Someone once suggested to me to scoop out the innards of a cucumber as to just leave the skin in one piece, pop it in the microwave and... awwwwh yeeeeah!

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Old 10-17-2013, 05:09 PM   #9397 (permalink)
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I know what I'm making tomorrow. A green jacket for my willy. Winter is coming after all.
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Old 10-17-2013, 05:12 PM   #9398 (permalink)
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Someone once suggested to me to scoop out the innards of a cucumber as to just leave the skin in one piece, pop it in the microwave and... awwwwh yeeeeah!
Ughhhhh
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I know what I'm making tomorrow. A green jacket for my willy. Winter is coming after all.
Nah, there is a way better place for it mate.
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Old 10-17-2013, 06:16 PM   #9399 (permalink)
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I have chlamydia.
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Old 10-17-2013, 06:24 PM   #9400 (permalink)
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I have chlamydia.

Could've been worse. Lesson learned?
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