The Sexual Experience Thread

~~butthead aka 216~~ · 08-13-2013, 06:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tore

I just read this short text, liked it and thought I would share it with you guys

Dear Daughter: I Hope You Have Awesome Sex

i agree with the jist of that but i cant help but feel that i wont feel the same way if i have a daughter. i tihink that guy is missin the point of why many dads are over protective of their daughters moreso than sons. he says this

"It doesn’t lessen you to give someone else pleasure. It doesn’t degrade you to have some of your own. And anyone who implies otherwise is a man who probably thinks very poorly of women underneath the surface."

maybe some dads feel like it will degrade their daughters or whatever but i dont think its the case with most. i think a lot of fathers just dont want their daughters manipulated into sex. cause young guys will do that whereas i dont think young girls manipulating boys into sex is nearly as common.

he kinda touches on it more about the while 'make your own mistakes and learn from them' vibe in the next paragraph but do you see what im saying?? i guess i feel like theres a line everyone draws as to what qualifies a parent as over protective but i think most dads probably just dont want their daughters somehow manipulated or tricked into sex when they are young and dont know better, what do u think

Dr_Rez · 08-16-2013, 03:07 PM

Vocaroo | Voice message

Astronomer · 08-16-2013, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Rez

Vocaroo | Voice message

lol who is this random Australian guy?

The Batlord · 08-17-2013, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Rez

Vocaroo | Voice message

Dr_Rez · 08-18-2013, 12:19 AM

I started talking to this girl on POF about a week ago. We started texting back and forth on Tuesday, and I convinced her to meet up tonight. So we decide to meet at the Barnes and Nobles by my house.

She shows up (looking HOT) and we start hitting it off. I basically act like a dick and pick on her the whole time and she eats the **** up. We eat for about half an hour and then decide to go on a walk (it was like 30 degrees but she wanted to so w/e) we were only gonna walk for a few minutes but we end up walking for like an hour. It was now starting to get dark (and even colder) so i suggest that we turn around. She tells me that we're only a couple blocks from her house and that her roommate can drop us back off. (Invitation to come over!)

So we arrive at her house and her roommate isn't there (I started getting excited). But she doesn't seem upset at all..... so we sit and talk, she starts play pushing me, I push her back (attraction is building) So she decides that she wants to watch a movie with me, and she puts in....... THE NOTEBOOK (is this real life?) I'm not pleased about her choice, but I'm already confident that we won't be watching the movie for very long........ THIS IS WHERE **** TAKES A TURN FOR THE WORST.....

As I anticipated, we were making out within 5 minutes. It started to look like it was going to be a good night ........ but before I continue let me just say that it's been over a month since I had had sex and over 5 days since I had last fapped......

She started feeling my cawk through my jeans like a hyena, she wanted MEAT. She started rubbing, back and forth.... back and forth.... and that's when it happened.....

I CAME IN MY PANTS..... (srs).... felt bad man

I immediately convulsed a little bit and pushed her hand away (instinct).

She asks, "what's wrong?"
My mind races for an answer, and I say "Is that all you got?"
She looks offended for a sec but then says "let me show you some more" and tries to unbutton my jeans.

I quickly grab her hands and look her in the eyes. "it's my turn" I say, and I proceed to go down on her (clean Vag) The entire time I am pleasuring her I am also jerking myself trying to get it back up... I feel panic deep down in my stomach starting to come up, heavy breathing and ****, but then it happens. I stopped thinking about getting it up and started thinking about doing her and it just popped up.

"God, just **** me!" she says
"get ready to get rocked lady" I say as I slide it her meat pit.

I thought I had recovered. This potentialy terrible situation had been saved.... or so I thought. Within a minute I start loosing my boner. I try to pinch my penis with one hand to keep it hard but that doesn't work. I keep humping while trying to think of what to do. Another minute or two of flacid humping passes when she asks

"Are you still in me?"....
I reply "hahah... yeah..." at this point my confidence is shot and I feel the panic rising again...
"Are you getting close?" she asks, obviously she wanted it to be done so I start thinking of what to do. No way I was just going to stop mid sex without ejaculating, I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror. So I keep flaccid humping... trying to squirt out some man juice, but it's not happening. So then it hits me... I decide that the only way to save face it to pee a little bit inside of her. So that's what I do. I pissed a little more than I wanted to but I stopped within about 4 to 5 seconds (the normal length of my orgasm) (also she told me she was on the pill) I feel bad but I figure that I redeemed myself at least a little bit.

So she get's up without saying anything and walks to the bathroom. I figure that after this bad sexual ordeal that the night is over so I start gathering up my clothes. Then I hear her from the bathroom...

She yells "WHAT THE ****!?"
She doesn't say anything else for a sec so I reply "Yeah...."
"Did you pee in me?" She yells back....... my heart SINKS

I don't know what to say, so I don't reply. I feel like I am going to die. My heart starts beating so fast that I literally think that I am going to have a heart attack. The room starts spinning and get light headed. I can barely make out her walking back into the room because everything was so dark and spinning. I couldn't handle it...... I VOMIT. ALL OVER MY CLOTHES.... Jesus Christ I was embarrassed. After throwing up for about 30 seconds I feel 100 times better. I lift my vomit covered face up to see her bert staring at me.

"Ummm, you should go...." she says. And that was the last time I saw her, she walked away and went somewhere else in the house. I had no other choice but to put my puke covered clothes on and leave. I was too ashamed to call a friend to get a ride back to my car so I proceed to walk for the next hour covered in now frozen puke..... FML

Sequoioideae · 08-18-2013, 12:38 AM

Oh man, I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry.

Dr_Rez · 08-18-2013, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sequoioideae

Oh man, I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry.

haha it is a copypasta mate

Sequoioideae · 08-18-2013, 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Rez

haha it is a copypasta mate

I need to internet more, I haven't been on the boards for ages.

~~Cuthbert~~ · 08-18-2013, 01:13 AM

Anyone ever embarrassed themselves during sex? There must be some great stories on here.

I can remember my awkward 17 year old self stopping over at a girl's friend's flat (I'd been chasing after this girl in school as we had crushes on each other but for some reason it never went anywhere, I got back in touch with her again with intentions of dating her because I actually really liked her ffs

) and failing to get all the hints she gave.

Remember lying next to her under the duvet on the floor and she said 'it's hot, you can take your shirt off if you want', so I did. Then she said take my trousers off and I said 'na, I'm alright'. I spent about an hour lying there with her and she even started massaging me ffs

, I got bored lying there so I gave her a kiss on the lips then rang a taxi and fucked off home.

About an hour later she text 'Was my kiss really that bad?'

Why can't women just say 'I want to shag you'? Really, really does my fucking tits in when you hint. I'd have shagged her as well. Just say what you mean for fuck's sake.

Her friend and her boyfriend were fucking weird as well, remember sitting on the sofa and they were both hinting at me and my girl, I felt like Alan Partridge in the sex people sketch. Then they said they'd 'leave us to it' and went to the bedroom. So basically I had a girl I really liked telling me to take my clothes off, massaging me and kissing me in bed and I fucked up and it's cringe looking back.

There's more but I want to see what other people post first.

Paul Smeenus · 08-18-2013, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fluffy Kittens

Anyone ever embarrassed themselves during sex?

I've never done anything else.

08-16-2013, 03:07 PM	#9022 (permalink)
Dr_Rez Registered Jimmy Rustler Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: USA Posts: 5,360	Vocaroo \| Voice message __________________ Best chance of losing virginity is in prison crew Always Checks Credentials Crew nba > nfl crew Shave one of my legs to pretend its a girl in my bed crew

08-18-2013, 12:19 AM	#9025 (permalink)
Dr_Rez Registered Jimmy Rustler Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: USA Posts: 5,360	I started talking to this girl on POF about a week ago. We started texting back and forth on Tuesday, and I convinced her to meet up tonight. So we decide to meet at the Barnes and Nobles by my house. She shows up (looking HOT) and we start hitting it off. I basically act like a dick and pick on her the whole time and she eats the ** up. We eat for about half an hour and then decide to go on a walk (it was like 30 degrees but she wanted to so w/e) we were only gonna walk for a few minutes but we end up walking for like an hour. It was now starting to get dark (and even colder) so i suggest that we turn around. She tells me that we're only a couple blocks from her house and that her roommate can drop us back off. (Invitation to come over!) So we arrive at her house and her roommate isn't there (I started getting excited). But she doesn't seem upset at all..... so we sit and talk, she starts play pushing me, I push her back (attraction is building) So she decides that she wants to watch a movie with me, and she puts in....... THE NOTEBOOK (is this real life?) I'm not pleased about her choice, but I'm already confident that we won't be watching the movie for very long........ THIS IS WHERE TAKES A TURN FOR THE WORST..... As I anticipated, we were making out within 5 minutes. It started to look like it was going to be a good night ........ but before I continue let me just say that it's been over a month since I had had sex and over 5 days since I had last fapped...... She started feeling my cawk through my jeans like a hyena, she wanted MEAT. She started rubbing, back and forth.... back and forth.... and that's when it happened..... I CAME IN MY PANTS..... (srs).... felt bad man I immediately convulsed a little bit and pushed her hand away (instinct). She asks, "what's wrong?" My mind races for an answer, and I say "Is that all you got?" She looks offended for a sec but then says "let me show you some more" and tries to unbutton my jeans. I quickly grab her hands and look her in the eyes. "it's my turn" I say, and I proceed to go down on her (clean Vag) The entire time I am pleasuring her I am also jerking myself trying to get it back up... I feel panic deep down in my stomach starting to come up, heavy breathing and , but then it happens. I stopped thinking about getting it up and started thinking about doing her and it just popped up. "God, just me!" she says "get ready to get rocked lady" I say as I slide it her meat pit. I thought I had recovered. This potentialy terrible situation had been saved.... or so I thought. Within a minute I start loosing my boner. I try to pinch my penis with one hand to keep it hard but that doesn't work. I keep humping while trying to think of what to do. Another minute or two of flacid humping passes when she asks "Are you still in me?".... I reply "hahah... yeah..." at this point my confidence is shot and I feel the panic rising again... "Are you getting close?" she asks, obviously she wanted it to be done so I start thinking of what to do. No way I was just going to stop mid sex without ejaculating, I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror. So I keep flaccid humping... trying to squirt out some man juice, but it's not happening. So then it hits me... I decide that the only way to save face it to pee a little bit inside of her. So that's what I do. I pissed a little more than I wanted to but I stopped within about 4 to 5 seconds (the normal length of my orgasm) (also she told me she was on the pill) I feel bad but I figure that I redeemed myself at least a little bit. So she get's up without saying anything and walks to the bathroom. I figure that after this bad sexual ordeal that the night is over so I start gathering up my clothes. Then I hear her from the bathroom... She yells "WHAT THE *!?" She doesn't say anything else for a sec so I reply "Yeah...." "Did you pee in me?" She yells back....... my heart SINKS I don't know what to say, so I don't reply. I feel like I am going to die. My heart starts beating so fast that I literally think that I am going to have a heart attack. The room starts spinning and get light headed. I can barely make out her walking back into the room because everything was so dark and spinning. I couldn't handle it...... I VOMIT. ALL OVER MY CLOTHES.... Jesus Christ I was embarrassed. After throwing up for about 30 seconds I feel 100 times better. I lift my vomit covered face up to see her bert staring at me. "Ummm, you should go...." she says. And that was the last time I saw her, she walked away and went somewhere else in the house. I had no other choice but to put my puke covered clothes on and leave. I was too ashamed to call a friend to get a ride back to my car so I proceed to walk for the next hour covered in now frozen puke..... FML __________________ Best chance of losing virginity is in prison crew* Always Checks Credentials Crew nba > nfl crew Shave one of my legs to pretend its a girl in my bed crew

08-18-2013, 01:13 AM	#9029 (permalink)
~~Cuthbert~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: The Black Country Posts: 8,827	Anyone ever embarrassed themselves during sex? There must be some great stories on here. I can remember my awkward 17 year old self stopping over at a girl's friend's flat (I'd been chasing after this girl in school as we had crushes on each other but for some reason it never went anywhere, I got back in touch with her again with intentions of dating her because I actually really liked her ffs ) and failing to get all the hints she gave. Remember lying next to her under the duvet on the floor and she said 'it's hot, you can take your shirt off if you want', so I did. Then she said take my trousers off and I said 'na, I'm alright'. I spent about an hour lying there with her and she even started massaging me ffs , I got bored lying there so I gave her a kiss on the lips then rang a taxi and fucked off home. About an hour later she text 'Was my kiss really that bad?' Why can't women just say 'I want to shag you'? Really, really does my fucking tits in when you hint. I'd have shagged her as well. Just say what you mean for fuck's sake. Her friend and her boyfriend were fucking weird as well, remember sitting on the sofa and they were both hinting at me and my girl, I felt like Alan Partridge in the sex people sketch. Then they said they'd 'leave us to it' and went to the bedroom. So basically I had a girl I really liked telling me to take my clothes off, massaging me and kissing me in bed and I fucked up and it's cringe looking back. There's more but I want to see what other people post first.