The Sexual Experience Thread

[gunnels]

I knew reading that would be a bad idea.

BLECH

[WWWP]

I'm glad I read it. It delivered the lulz.

[Double X]

Originally Posted by FireInCairo

It;s not really luck. More social circle and open mindedness I think.

I am in the wrong social circle, never had that opportunity (even when I had a gf)

[dac]

Originally Posted by TheUsed2lguy

Isn't sex great?
Oh man, I just love pounding the vag. Morning, noon, and night, I'll go to work on that thing like a technician, until she realizes who she was messing with.

So, my favorite position is The Reverse Totem Poles. You get one of those suction cup *****s, that you stick to the floor, and it will stand straight up. Lube it up, then pop it right in the anus. Then, what you do with the lady is, you get her to kind of straddle you, preferrably in a reverse position, ya know, that way she can kind of push off the floor, and you will both be receiving the in-out action. You can jam it in either one of her love holes. It doesn't matter. I prefer the anus, because I'm so insecure that I don't want to be sweeping the chimney alone.

Sadly, though, the lady doesn't always go for it, and's like, "Hey do what you want with your anus, but I don't get down for the beef curtains" and then you'll start crying and throwing a fit and say, "God, you never understand me, (sob*sob) I just want to mud my turtle," then storm out of the room. Usually, this will get you enough pity points, that you can go to brown town, but it's a total anger bang, and you know, when it comes to the anger bang, there's limited foreplay, so you can't really do the Reverse Totem Poles.

Find a bitch who likes it in the hershey highway, and if you can't, you'll probably still get to plow the back field, but not in the Reverse Totem Poles. See, the difference is if she doesn't mind donut making, then you can pull off the Reverse Totem Poles. Anyway, I hope this was a help in some small way.

There is so much quotable sig material here. I don't know what to do with myself.

[TheBig3]

Originally Posted by Vanilla

I've given up on being given head. Guys just don't know how to make me get off like that. But as long as the sex is good I don't mind! And kissing has to be decent, but you can tell the person whether there's something you like or don't like about their kissing style.

To be fair, most girls don't know what their doing either. When I was getting into the game I would ask women, and they didn't even know where their clit was.

That being said, the vagina isn't terribly straitforward and unless you've been given amazing directions or been taken to the clit, its impossible to find on your own. Depending on your age, its logical that none of your peers can find it.

I wouldn't give up though, my current girlfriend says the orgasms are more intense that way. Patience my friend, patience.

[SATCHMO]

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog

To be fair, most girls don't know what their doing either. When I was getting into the game I would ask women, and they didn't even know where their clit was.

What they really meant was "I think I left it at the mall".

[TheBig3]

Originally Posted by SATCHMO

What they really meant was "I think I left it at the mall".

That makes sense, she seemed like that kinda broad.

[Freebase Dali]

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog

To be fair, most girls don't know what their doing either. When I was getting into the game I would ask women, and they didn't even know where their clit was.

That being said, the vagina isn't terribly straitforward and unless you've been given amazing directions or been taken to the clit, its impossible to find on your own. Depending on your age, its logical that none of your peers can find it.

I wouldn't give up though, my current girlfriend says the orgasms are more intense that way. Patience my friend, patience.

I dated/lived with a girl for 2 years and the only way she could get off was with me ferociously munching the rug. You do it every day for 2 years, you get a lock on where the hardware is located. It also helps when they have a large enough target to actually hit.
But after dating other girls and being erroneously clued to one woman's setup, I soon learned a lot of other girls just don't have much of a clit.

[TheBig3]

Originally Posted by Veridical Fiction

I dated/lived with a girl for 2 years and the only way she could get off was with me ferociously munching the rug. You do it every day for 2 years, you get a lock on where the hardware is located. It also helps when they have a large enough target to actually hit.
But after dating other girls and being erroneously clued to one woman's setup, I soon learned a lot of other girls just don't have much of a clit.

Oh absolutely, the one I've got now its like its constantly under a flap. You also learn to take large swipes and flatten out your tongue, which is a lot like carpet bombing (no pun intended) the city you can't find the terrorist in.

[Freebase Dali]

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog

Oh absolutely, the one I've got now its like its constantly under a flap. You also learn to take large swipes and flatten out your tongue, which is a lot like carpet bombing (no pun intended) the city you can't find the terrorist in.

Great analogy.

Now days I don't even bother with it. Girls appreciate a good hand job too, and it's easier to nail the button that way. I figure if she doesn't make it clear she loves getting downed on, I won't figure it's worth the effort just to contribute to her vault of disappointing experiences.