The Sexual Experience Thread

Hesher · 06-18-2009, 03:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veridical Fiction

Bull.
Get in here and ruffle some feathers. (Beware of ruffling dicks though)

People like you, we call them enablers. You are doing a bad thing. Bad.

"If you mess with the bull... You get the horns." -Randy Blythe, Halo of Locusts - Cornada

Freebase Dali · 06-18-2009, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hesher

People like you, we call them enablers. You are doing a bad thing. Bad.

"If you mess with the bull... You get the horns." -Randy Blythe, Halo of Locusts - Cornada

Oh buddy boy, I'm like an enabler on steroids.
I say let it all out. Tear these folks to shreds with your war stories, and beat them down with your massive tall tail.. tale... err. whatever. This is the place to do it.
You won't be judged. You will be WORSHIPPED...muahahaha..

Ok I gotta lay off the vodka.

Hesher · 06-18-2009, 03:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veridical Fiction

Oh buddy boy, I'm like an enabler on steroids.
I say let it all out. Tear these folks to shreds with your war stories, and beat them down with your massive tall tail.. tale... err. whatever. This is the place to do it.
You won't be judged. You will be WORSHIPPED...muahahaha..

Ok I gotta lay off the vodka.

I'm 18. I've had TWO GIRLFRIENDS. I had SEX with ONE of them for about a YEAR. It was NICE.

Oh shi-

Freebase Dali · 06-18-2009, 03:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hesher

I'm 18. I've had TWO GIRLFRIENDS. I had SEX with ONE of them for about a YEAR. It was NICE.

Oh shi-

Nice beatdown.
I didn't even have to do it. lol.

Hesher · 06-18-2009, 03:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dac

Well now that you mention it...

(My Bed)

This picture made me cry, but is ironic because I have an Iron Maiden poster (The Trooper, for the record, which, for the record, I have on a 7" record) on the wall next to my bed, which my ex-girlfriend said she thought of every time we had sex after the weekend we spent at my house with my parents out of town.

Freebase Dali · 06-18-2009, 03:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hesher

This picture made me cry, but is ironic because I have an Iron Maiden poster (The Trooper, for the record, which, for the record, I have on a 7" record) on the wall next to my bed, which my ex-girlfriend said she thought of every time we had sex after the weekend we spent at my house with my parents out of town.

I wonder how weird it would be to have pictures of yourself all over the walls above the girl you're fucking.

I mean... shit, instead of lettin' the girl cheat...

Hesher · 06-18-2009, 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veridical Fiction

I wonder how weird it would be to have pictures of yourself all over the walls above the girl you're fucking.

I mean... shit, instead of lettin' the girl cheat...

Yeah. And I mean, this isn't a turnon for most people. Except for Ed Gein.

Freebase Dali · 06-18-2009, 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hesher

Yeah. And I mean, this isn't a turnon for most people. Except for Ed Gein.

Ed Gein probably had better taste than that.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of Jefferey Dahmer.

boo boo · 06-18-2009, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hesher

This picture made me cry, but is ironic because I have an Iron Maiden poster (The Trooper, for the record, which, for the record, I have on a 7" record) on the wall next to my bed, which my ex-girlfriend said she thought of every time we had sex after the weekend we spent at my house with my parents out of town.

I have a Gwen Stefani poster...............

My grandma still has a bit to learn about my taste in music.

TheCunningStunt · 06-18-2009, 01:22 PM

I once had very vigorous sex. 30 minutes in I felt a shooting pain, sure enough, I thought to myself man up, so carried on, 10 minutes later the pain got ridiculous.

I decided to tell her that it was hurting and proceeded to call her a C U Next Tuesday for doing this to me, for inflicting this pain. I thought my banjoo had snapped, although there was no blood..

We had to go into town the next day, walking round a shop with my willy tucked between my legs, rubbing it every now and then with children in the same isle must have looked a bit suspect.

It turns out, after a closer look, there was a small cut on it.

All that pain and it hadn't even snapped, I honestly do pray to God it never does. If a tiny cut hurts that much... Jesus Christ!

06-18-2009, 01:22 PM	#820 (permalink)
TheCunningStunt love will tear you apart Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Manchester, UK. Posts: 5,107	I once had very vigorous sex. 30 minutes in I felt a shooting pain, sure enough, I thought to myself man up, so carried on, 10 minutes later the pain got ridiculous. I decided to tell her that it was hurting and proceeded to call her a C U Next Tuesday for doing this to me, for inflicting this pain. I thought my banjoo had snapped, although there was no blood.. We had to go into town the next day, walking round a shop with my willy tucked between my legs, rubbing it every now and then with children in the same isle must have looked a bit suspect. It turns out, after a closer look, there was a small cut on it. All that pain and it hadn't even snapped, I honestly do pray to God it never does. If a tiny cut hurts that much... Jesus Christ!