The Sexual Experience Thread

[Scarlett O'Hara]

Imagine if everyone acted out all their deep dark secret fantasies?

[Sansa Stark]

Difficult, men only realise that they are submissive when they are old it seems or if otherwise they either top from the bottom or only like light bdsm

[Scarlett O'Hara]

Originally Posted by Hermione

Difficult, men only realise that they are submissive when they are old it seems or if otherwise they either top from the bottom or only like light bdsm

Really? Oh how sad. Why are some guys submissive and others dominant?

[Sansa Stark]

Well in my opinion, everyone is born one or the other, but it goes against traditional gender norms to be a Dominant female or submissive male, so it's difficult to figure out what your position is if it's not the norm. Dominant females are highly fetishised, but to be submissive is to be seen as being feminine and for a male, that's like the biggest insult. Also, it's heavily believed in the scene that dominant females are only pretending and that ALL women are really submissive, they just "need the right man."

Which is pretty hilarious although it is sad, they come at me.with that spiel and get their asses handed to them. I am naturally dominant, and any time I' m in the role of submissive in a relationship I inevitably **** it up.

but like, there is nothing so ****ing sexy as a man who is secure enough in his masculinity to submit

[Cuthbert]

Thread is arousing.

[Janszoon]

Originally Posted by tore

I remember not being able to recognize flirting when it happened to me, but now I find it fairly easy. Sometimes, a woman dedicates her attention to me and I notice there's some sort of eagerness that makes it seem a bit more than simply polite gesture. The obviousness of it differs of course (perhaps there are compliments or she seems really interested in what I do), but it's not so hard to pick up on. I guess the language might be just as subtle now as it was then, but perhaps the added years of social experience makes the difference. Or it could be that women around my age (30) are a lot easier to read in general than they were 10 years ago.

I can totally relate. I was mostly oblivious to flirting when I was single, but now that it has no bearing on my life whatsoever I feel like I'm much better at noticing it.

[P A N]

Originally Posted by Hermione

Well in my opinion, everyone is born one or the other, but it goes against traditional gender norms to be a Dominant female or submissive male, so it's difficult to figure out what your position is if it's not the norm. Dominant females are highly fetishised, but to be submissive is to be seen as being feminine and for a male, that's like the biggest insult. Also, it's heavily believed in the scene that dominant females are only pretending and that ALL women are really submissive, they just "need the right man."

i just want to argue a bit with the "born this way" thing... i've been in way too many serious relationships. 8 or 9 at least.... this means that i've had the opportunity to become very comfortable (much different than confident) with quite a few women. and i've found that over time, the sexiest thing in the world for both sexes within a truly loving framework is to be able to act on the impulse to be one or the other at any given time, sometimes switching in the same "session". i've been incredibly submissive and incredibly dominant with several woman, who, when they see this, or when they are ok with it, generally tend to give up the idea of being one way or the other, and see that being open to change is much more organic. given, i also think that the feminine side of a man is beautiful and often overlooked, so i don't feel like i'm forfeiting any sense of being a man when submitting. i just think it's much more fun and much more real to be in a room with two people that put these sorts of definitions on the shelf and do what feels right at the moment. being constantly dominant would bore the hell out of me. actually, a woman i was with for three years took no dominant effort at all for the entirety of our relationship... this was our downfall. i need a lady that knows she can jump me if she damn well pleases.

edit: and knows that (unless something is wrong) i'm probably going to jump her whenever i damn well please too.

[Sansa Stark]

Originally Posted by zevokes

i just want to argue a bit with the "born this way" thing... i've been in way too many serious relationships. 8 or 9 at least.... this means that i've had the opportunity to become very comfortable (much different than confident) with quite a few women. and i've found that over time, the sexiest thing in the world for both sexes within a truly loving framework is to be able to act on the impulse to be one or the other at any given time, sometimes switching in the same "session". i've been incredibly submissive and incredibly dominant with several woman, who, when they see this, or when they are ok with it, generally tend to give up the idea of being one way or the other, and see that being open to change is much more organic. given, i also think that the feminine side of a man is beautiful and often overlooked, so i don't feel like i'm forfeiting any sense of being a man when submitting. i just think it's much more fun and much more real to be in a room with two people that put these sorts of definitions on the shelf and do what feels right at the moment. being constantly dominant would bore the hell out of me. actually, a woman i was with for three years took no dominant effort at all for the entirety of our relationship... this was our downfall. i need a lady that knows she can jump me if she damn well pleases.

edit: and knows that (unless something is wrong) i'm probably going to jump her whenever i damn well please too.

That's you, and you don't speak for everyone. So pop off. Being dominant doesn't mean "jumping someone anytime you want", dominance is much more subtle. I'm not even speaking of just one's sexual relationship, I mean the relationship romantically as well.

[P A N]

Originally Posted by Hermione

That's you, and you don't speak for everyone. So pop off. Being dominant doesn't mean "jumping someone anytime you want", dominance is much more subtle. I'm not even speaking of just one's sexual relationship, I mean the relationship romantically as well.

noted. i will, from this point forward, only make statements applicable to every single human on the planet, and never impose my own unique and personalized outlook on others.

[Sansa Stark]

Why are you so butthurt about being wrong? You aren't even using dominance in the same context I am, lmao