The Sexual Experience Thread

[Howard the Duck]

supposed to have some dates over the Eid Al-Futr Muslim holidays

what the hell happened to them?

[Rjinn]

Originally Posted by Howard the Duck

supposed to have some dates over the Eid Al-Futr Muslim holidays

what the hell happened to them?

They all starved to death?

[Salami]

Originally Posted by Burning Down

Yeah, kissing in public is vastly different than kissing in private, that's for sure. People tend to go farther in private.

Yep, I think there's also the fact that when two people of same age and know each other well spend a lot of time together with no one else's company, there's often an unconscious element of a relationship building. Certainly the case with me. And sorry, SO SORRY for being so tacky, but remember that line from the Simpson's movie where Homer's got that pig sitting next to him on the sofa? "Perhaps WE should kiss, just to break the tension?"

I think experience has something to do with it too, like very first kisses are more innocent in nature but as people start discovering their sexuality and what they like, then of course they become more comfortable with everything. Like when I met my boyfriend I had never been kissed by anybody before (yeah, I was totally late to the game but whatever, lol). He knew that and was cool with it, so for awhile it was just kissing and not much else.

Completely true, though there's certainly the fact here that that both of you see the other as your partner. You expect to kiss each other. However no amount of intimacy and privacy can cover that fact that the idea "I'm kissing my best friend!!!" is discomforting.

Then of course we eventually moved on from there (or "moved down"? LOL)

Why not?

Well, I think there's more than just the physical differences between boys and girls, I think the way our minds work is different as well. I don't mean the superficial differences, more the fact that I find the way girls minds work more complimentary to boys. I can't really express it well enough, but how I will find more pleasure in hearing about what the girl's reactions to her particular circumstances, and am content to listen and appreciate what she's saying. I find that part of a relationship far better in heterosexual ones, because I am slightly pained to recollect some of the experiences with another boy. We would sit in silence for a lot of the time because I think each was expecting the other to say something, and we'd feel a bit guilty for not doing so. "Sorry I'm being so quiet at the moment, I'm... erm, deep in thought" he said. Although we've had incredible amounts of fun, it seemed more like an intimate friendship more than anything. Despite the fact that it was superior to any heterosexual relationship I've had.
Mind you I've just turned 17, so anything I've just said must be understood to have come from very limited experience.

Originally Posted by Rjinnx

I find it really hard to be attracted to people. It's a rarity. For some reason I don't notice others that way. I'm 23, young I guess, but I'm no where ready to have a relationship. Guess it's a commitment thing, or intimacy issues. I don't really know where to start, and it's been bothering me lately. Most people who know are stunned, and don't understand. All of them have been in a serious relationship which I don't understand. Especially the depth or seriousness of it that comes naturally. That way It scares me sometimes. Maybe the capability is not there? Or it's a responsibility thing. I thought it might of been arrogance, but I hardly think so. I kinda envy people who are able to.

Don't you like the idea of commitment much? Do you have reservations about spending years or even your life with the other person? In which case, congratulations, you're normal! All I can see here is that you're aware that you're not comfortable with that idea, which in my opinion shows more maturity than you could have. I've not been in a serious relationship either, plenty of superficial ones though. But the point is that you shouldn't ever want to commit yourself to someone who you don't think about all the time. I think you're just being sensible.

[Rjinn]

Wow, guess I didn't see it that way. Yea I'm a very reserved kinda person. Though I think sexual attraction is different but perhaps I have an incredibly low sex drive. Certainly won't commit to something I don't want, in regards to a relationship. However I'm not really willing to give a try at all. Perhaps that's sensible in a sense that I know I'm far from ready, and you can't really play with things like this.

That actually made me feel better. Thanks Salami.

[Howard the Duck]

Originally Posted by Rjinnx

They all starved to death?

should be feasting now to bother with me

[FETCHER.]

Originally Posted by Rjinnx

I find it really hard to be attracted to people. It's a rarity. For some reason I don't notice others that way. I'm 23, young I guess, but I'm no where ready to have a relationship. Guess it's a commitment thing, or intimacy issues. I don't really know where to start, and it's been bothering me lately. Most people who know are stunned, and don't understand. All of them have been in a serious relationship which I don't understand. Especially the depth or seriousness of it that comes naturally. That way It scares me sometimes. Maybe the capability is not there? Or it's a responsibility thing. I thought it might of been arrogance, but I hardly think so. I kinda envy people who are able to.

:/

Would like to hear some advice about it.

This is seriously me. Its very very rare I really like someone. I have like 2 day long crushes. I counted that the longest was about 5 days.

[YorkeDaddy]

I'm the exact opposite!

I've been madly in love with my girlfriend from the day I saw her to today, almost two years later. I know that's not an extremely long time in the grand scheme of things, but still. I can't even begin to imagine being with anyone other than her.

[WWWP]

Originally Posted by FETCHING.

This is seriously me. Its very very rare I really like someone. I have like 2 day long crushes. I counted that the longest was about 5 days.

I think I can relate to this as well. Even when I "like" someone I don't really fully like them. I think I'm more interested in the idea of liking someone than I am in the actual person - the process of having a crush on someone and then pursuing (or waiting to be pursued by) that person is always the same and I end up being bored with the predictability of it all. The crush process is fun though, and I do enjoy it initially, but the people on the receiving end of my crushes are pretty much interchangeable.

[Burning Down]

Originally Posted by Salami

Yep, I think there's also the fact that when two people of same age and know each other well spend a lot of time together with no one else's company, there's often an unconscious element of a relationship building. Certainly the case with me. And sorry, SO SORRY for being so tacky, but remember that line from the Simpson's movie where Homer's got that pig sitting next to him on the sofa? "Perhaps WE should kiss, just to break the tension?"

Haha! I do remember that part of the movie

Completely true, though there's certainly the fact here that that both of you see the other as your partner. You expect to kiss each other. However no amount of intimacy and privacy can cover that fact that the idea "I'm kissing my best friend!!!" is discomforting.

It's funny. I certainly expect that now, but I didn't expect it at the beginning, really. When we started dating, even after spending like three weeks doing stuff together during the day and dates in the evening, it was hard for me to think "OMG I think this guy actually likes me and I think he wants to kiss me!" I basically had the whole "FOREVER ALONE" mindset going on, because that was my first real experience with dating someone.

When he actually did kiss me, we had gone out on maybe 4 or 5 real dates already (like just us and not group events and whatnot). He stood behind me, turned me around, and planted one. Remember I had not ever kissed anybody before that moment. So I was not expecting it, and because of that it was awkward and felt very strange to me. But at the same time it was amazing and I'm glad it happened.

Well, I think there's more than just the physical differences between boys and girls, I think the way our minds work is different as well. I don't mean the superficial differences, more the fact that I find the way girls minds work more complimentary to boys. I can't really express it well enough, but how I will find more pleasure in hearing about what the girl's reactions to her particular circumstances, and am content to listen and appreciate what she's saying. I find that part of a relationship far better in heterosexual ones, because I am slightly pained to recollect some of the experiences with another boy. We would sit in silence for a lot of the time because I think each was expecting the other to say something, and we'd feel a bit guilty for not doing so. "Sorry I'm being so quiet at the moment, I'm... erm, deep in thought" he said. Although we've had incredible amounts of fun, it seemed more like an intimate friendship more than anything. Despite the fact that it was superior to any heterosexual relationship I've had.
Mind you I've just turned 17, so anything I've just said must be understood to have come from very limited experience.

Yeah, I get that. Makes a lot of sense.

[Justthefacts]

Originally Posted by YorkeDaddy

I'm the exact opposite!

I've been madly in love with my girlfriend from the day I saw her to today, almost two years later. I know that's not an extremely long time in the grand scheme of things, but still. I can't even begin to imagine being with anyone other than her.

Hate to burst your little love bubble, but if things don't work out, you're going to take it EXTREMELY hard. I've learned this already